What Do Your Testicles Say About You?

dc1c028dfbab3457234590a1feeb293343492When it comes to a man’s testicles, size matters. At least according to a new investigation by Medical Daily.

It can be easy to forget that a man’s package includes more than just his penis. Sure, the penis is the main attraction, but the balls play an integral part in the makeup of the male anatomy. So what do your cojones say about you? Let’s explore…

Big balls can result in increased chances of heart problems and cheating.

According to a a 2013 study conducted on over 2,800 men, guys with larger testes may have an increased chance of developing heart disease. Researchers suggested the reason for this was due to a higher amount of the testosterone-producing hormone called luteinizing hormone, which is responsible for stimulating testosterone production. Past studies have linked higher levels of testosterone to heart disease.

A study released earlier this year by the University of Oslo in Norway also found that men with large balls can be more prone to cheating. Assistant Professor Petter Bøckman concluded that “primates with bigger testicles were more likely to be unfaithful.” The reason? It has to do with the whole “survival of the fittest” thing, in which men with lots of sperm want to spread their seed to as many partners as possible.

Smaller scrotal sacs can cause insomnia.

Researchers at the University of Southern Denmark found a link between the size of a guy’s scrotum and the quality of his sleep. Nearly 1,000 men were surveyed about their sleeping habits, and then had their testicular sizes and sperm counts measured. The study found that the sperm counts of men who reported insomnia, later bedtimes, or inconsistent sleep patterns were 29 percent lower. On top of that, their yam bags were 1.6 percent smaller than those of guys who reported sleeping soundly.

Researchers noted that the size of the men’s testicles may not be entirely to blame for their lack of sleep. People who reported poor sleep patterns also tended to lead unhealthier lifestyles filled with fatty foods, alcohol, and smoking, among other vices. Thus smaller balls can actually indicate a person is unhealthy in other ways, too.

So there you have it, fellas. Everything you ever wanted to know about the size of your scrotum. Up next: how bleach baths can cure you of a smelly sac.

Related stories:

Scientists Say Men With Big Balls Are More Likely To Cheat

Man With Three Balls Posts Nude On Reddit, Becomes Internet Sensation Overnight

George Clooney “Did Not Like” Wrinkles On His Scrotum, So He Had Them Removed

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  • DDstar1me

    NO one asked but, I love my balls squeezed while I cum. Is that strange?

  • Ummmm Yeah

    @DDstar1me: Not unless you are putting them in a vice grip.

  • tab57

    I have very big ball (as I am constantly told) in a very large hefty ballsack. I am not prone to cheating to spread my seed. Also I do not normally cum a lot, my volume is rather small unless I edge or have not cum in along time, so large balls do not mean lots of sperm like the story states. I also do not spray, I usually just flow out. I have seen men with tiny balls spray lots of cum all over the place. I wish large balls related to lots of sperm.

  • BBellairs

    Bad news, good news. Bad news, I’m apparently prone to heart disease and cheating. Good news, I sleep well!

  • Saint Law

    @tab57: “I have a very big ball (as I am constantly told) in a very large hefty ballsack.”

    I am picturing you perched atop it like a space-hopper.

  • Teeth

    So…. with very large sacs, be aware that there can be more going on than big balls. If your balls seem normal, but your sack huge, it’s worth seeing a doc. I think this topic is woefully under-discussed. So, have some balls and talk about your balls.

  • vive

    I don’t really believe it.

    What about the many studies showing that older men with higher testosterone have lower mortality and morbidity?

  • JohnnyTee

    @tab57 Sperm and semen are two totally different things. The amount of ejaculate you produce is no indication of how many swimmers it contains.

    Or do you believe guys don’t ejaculate at all after a vasectomy?

  • Louis Goodrich

    My testicles say to me, “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and doggone it, people like me.”

  • Danny Mills

    You is also tough and courageous I believe?

  • Peter McKinney

    I’ve never heard my testicles say anything about me at all but they’re very judgmental of others.

  • Louie Mars

    My testicles say ” I used to be a woman.”

  • Russ Cohen

    Correlation is not causation

Comments are closed.