WWJD: What Would Joslyn Fox Do?

Image credit: Jose A Guzman Colon

Helping A Transgender Son

Dear Joslyn,

My 21 year old son is in the military. While stationed overseas, he was seeing a doctor who told him he shows strong signs of being transgender. This doesn’t really come as a shock to me considering he’s been stealing my shoes and under-eye cream since middle school, but I digress.

My husband and I are fine with this. I mean, I’m sure there’ll be moments of “dad weird” but it’ll pass. Our biggest concern is making sure our kids are happy, healthy and safe.

As his parents, is there anything we can do to make things a little easier for him? We’ve dealt with a kid coming out before and that went well. Will this be any different? Is my uterus filled with glitter and power tools? Because I’m totally cool with that.

Semi-clueless Mom

Dear Semi-clueless Mom,

I’m curious as to what the ‘strong signs of being transgender’ are. I’m guessing this is a psychiatric doctor he is seeing, as I’m not sure what physical signs a doctor would pick up on. Considering that your other child’s coming out went well, I don’t see why you can’t handle this similarly. If he’s calling out for help, it seems as though you would have already addressed it with him. But if he is denying his desire to transition, then it may be time to step in and make him aware of your support no matter what he chooses. He might just be suppressing his feelings until he hears someone like his mother tell him that ‘it is okay.’ And if he does tell you he wishes to transition, as his parents, team up and get ready to give a lot of support, respect his decisions, and remember to not be selfish. Providing a safe haven will be substantial.

P.S. You might want to get your uterus checked out. Did you hear about the woman who got drunk and left a vibrator in her vagina for 10 years?!? Imagine the damage a jackhammer could do!

Going Gray

Dear Joslyn,

My partner of 8 yrs has gone gray over the past couple of years. Like most of America, he is having a hard time embracing his age. He is lucky enough to have a gorgeous silver beard and I find it to be extremely sexy. He thinks it makes him seem old and unattractive, so he dyes it. He is so wrong and I want him to let it go completely gray. Either way, to me, he is the most handsome man on the planet but I clearly have a preference. Should I try to talk him into going full gray or let him deal with this at his own pace?

You’re Gay, You’re Gray, Get Used To It

Dear You’re Gay, You’re Gray, Get Used To It,

In my opinion, I believe that men and women alike should wear their age as a badge of honor. I see getting older as an achievement. But, I know I’m in the minority with my view of the aging process. So I can see where convincing your partner could be nearly impossible. As long as he knows how attractive you find him going gray, he will come around at his own pace. It is something of vanity, and trying to get him to drop the habit of dying his beard might be as easy as convincing Cher to sport her natural hair from here on out. Now, if it is really a preference, and you want yourself a sexy silver fox, that’s a different story, and I’m right there with ya! Let’s just say my mashed potatoes aren’t the only place I like a little salt and pepper. And those ‘Just For Men’ beards look painted on anyway.

Handling a Gluten-Free Diet

Dear Joslyn,

I have a stressful job and I work crazy hours. I feel like my diet has really slipped because of my job and I feel run down a lot. I decided to switch to a gluten-free diet because I am having a lot of weird allergies this summer, congestion-wise. I do feel better since I have cut out gluten (though I haven’t been 100 percent strict).

The problems I’m having are:

1). What do I eat for breakfast? Normally I would just eat a slice or two of toast but that is obviously not a good choice now. What do you eat for breakfast? Is there a brand of gluten free bread you could recommend? I’m not into trying anything overly processed or with raisins or nuts in it. I can’t eat yogurt because I have lactose issues and I don’t really like a lot of fruit. It doesn’t sit well on my stomach and it never fills me up. I need to eat something substantial in the morning or I starve. And I don’t always have time to make, or want to eat, eggs.

2). How do I get my mind to “accept” that I must do this – it is better for me?

By the way, I have been to my doctor. They haven’t found anything seriously wrong with me. And they did the gluten test. It did not come back showing any gluten issues but I know that when I eat gluten products it make me cough a lot.

Please help,
To Wheat Or Not To Wheat

To Wheat Or Not To Wheat,

Going gluten free is beneficial to many people. Some are allergic to gluten, others have an intolerance, and then there are those who find certain symptoms they’ve simply learned to live with are alleviated when they cut out gluten from their diet. The trouble is, when you cut gluten out completely, your body begins to regenerate where it has been damaged by years of gluten consumption, and that little ‘cheat’ of gluten can make you feel really crummy.

Breakfast is something I struggle with, and I know exactly what you’re talking about. Eggs would be the perfect breakfast, but making them is the last thing I want to do in the morning. I am lactose intolerant so I can’t do yogurt, but Greek yogurt actually has little to no lactose in it, as it is diminished in the process of making it. It is always my “go to” breakfast choice. And, if you don’t like the fruit flavors, Greek yogurt with honey is delicious. It’s higher in protein than regular yogurt, so it will help to fill you up, plus the bacteria in it will help to alleviate tummy troubles. Although there is no curing gluten allergies, doctors say that the closest they’ll get will be treatment involving the same probiotics found in yogurt. But if you want to have some toast, I really love the Rudi’s multigrain bread and the Udi’s whole grain bread. It better than bland white bread toast in the morning, and they’re both great for sandwiches, too.

As far as accepting the gluten free lifestyle, it’s a definite challenge. I have a lot of food anxiety as I must triple check labels and be very careful about which restaurants I eat out at. But I do really appreciate being fully aware of what I am putting in my body. Reading the list of ingredients in a product allows you to be selective of what your diet consists of. It is a challenge, but think of it as a fun one. You’re no longer just eating whatever is available, you have to play detective and shop around for just the right thing. Be a diva and turn your nose up at glutenous food.

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