WWJD: What Would Joslyn Fox Do?

Joslyn-Fox-RuPauls-Drag-Race-Season-6-Foxy-for-Jesus-900h
Image credit: Jose A Guzman Colon

Finding Love

Hey Joslyn,

First off, I’d like to congratulate you on your wedding on the drag race finale. You guys make an adorable couple! Here’s my question, we’ve all heard the saying “don’t look for love, let love find you” or “love will hit you when you least expect it.” Do you believe these sayings to be true? How did it work for you?

Sincerely,
Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places

Dear Looking For Love In All The Wrong Places,

I truly believe in those notions. I’ve always said that you must be happy with yourself being single before love can find you. Sometimes we look for a partner to fill our voids, when the greatest love of all is inside of ourselves already, it just needs to be nurtured. A wise woman once said “If you don’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?” Well I also believe that someone else is going to have a hard time loving someone who doesn’t love themselves. I found my husband when I wasn’t looking for love. I was ready for love, because I loved myself.

Long Distance Relationship

Joslyn,

I recently met someone, whom I really really liked and wanted to get to know more. But he was forced to move to TX. I was out of a long relationship for a little over a year and I’ve been on dates and had no connection till I met him. I don’t know how to go about what we had because I really miss him, I really want to be with him… But I can’t physically be with him. We text a lot and talk a lot but it makes me miss him more. What should I do? We talk about how we can’t wait to hang out again, but what do I do in the meantime? Do I still have hope we can have something? I guess I’m just afraid to let go because I didn’t want to be alone again.

Regards,
Long Distance Lover

Dear Long Distance Lover,

Some people are able to make long distance relationships work. It all depends on what needs of yours are being filled and which are not. Maybe you each found the right guy but at the wrong time. Let love go and if it comes back, then it is yours. If it is meant to be, someday it will work. But don’t make yourselves miserable in the meantime. If the long distance is too much to handle, is being ‘alone again’ really any worse?

Cheating

Hi Joslyn,

My partner and I have been together for six months and things have been going really well. We recently got drunk together and he told me that he loved me. I responded and said that I loved him, too. The next day we didn’t even talk about it (he’s the quiet type), but I wanted your advice about an issue before I have the conversation with him…

About three weeks ago my boyfriend was on vacation and I got really drunk for a friends going away party and ended up cheating on him. We didn’t have sex, well oral sex only, and I haven’t told him about it because we’ve never had a fight and I don’t know how he will react to this. I do really love him and want to stay with him forever, but I’m not sure whether I should bury this secret and never tell him or tell him and risk losing him. Help!

Thanks,
Confused & In Love

Dear Confused & In Love,

Or as I like to call you, Drunk In Love. Alcohol seems to be getting you into some trouble. If you love him, I understand your fear of losing him. But you won’t risk losing him if you tell him, you risked losing him when you cheated. You need to be honest with yourself and come to terms with why you cheated on him although you love him. If you truly do love him, then you know you need to be honest with him. If you have full intentions of being with him forever, that is not a secret worth sitting on for the rest of your life. Fess up now and start with a clean slate. Sometimes it is these kind of things that strengthen a relationship. It’s the natural ebb and flow of true love weathering the good and bad, the ups and downs of life.

Drag and a Relationship

Dear Joslyn,

I need advice, I have been in a relationship for over 3 years now and I am really in love with that man however, ever since we started I had to leave all my drag and make up that I love. I don’t do drag all the time, but still he knew I’ve done it before… now I just feel desperate and sad, I’m thinking about leaving him but I’m scared and know that it will break my heart in so many ways… please help me! :'(

Yours truly,
Broken Wing

Dear Broken Wing,

I understand the fear of leaving him and having your heart broken, but isn’t it broken already? Don’t you feel that a part of you has died because a man forces you to hide a part of who you are? He may have clipped your wings, but stay true to who you are; keep your eye on the sky and fly.

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