Age-gap relationships are something that many people have strong feelings about, including queer people.
A video that spotlights two men in a 46-year-age-gap relationship has prompted comments online. Most people are praising the couple for sharing their story and giving people a glimpse into their home life.
Evan, 52, and Bill, 98, live in the Bay area of California, around 15 minutes outside of San Francisco. They met seven years ago via a website called Silver Daddies. They recently did an interview with YouTuber Matt Cullen for his Our Queer Life series.
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“Seventh heaven”
Evan is open about the fact he’s always been attracted to older men, saying he’s a gerontophile with a “granddaddy complex.” He says he’s rarely attracted to any man under 70.
“When I saw him walk towards me, I was just overwhelmed with his male beauty. I just couldn’t get over it,” he recalls of meeting Bill.
“When we went up to my apartment, he leaned over and kissed me, and I was just in seventh heaven.
“I just felt, this is the man that I’ve always wanted. And I still feel that way. I just adore him.”
He continued, “I must say, the word that came to my head… He kind of waddled out of his building in his little man walk, came out the door. And I’m pulling in the carriage, and I said, ‘Oh my god he’s gorgeous.’ I felt he was gorgeous.”
They had arranged to go on a lunch date. However, Evan says he was so attracted to Bill that he wanted to skip lunch. However, Bill insisted they go eat first.
“He was kind of being responsible. And I thought, ‘Honor the elder, be responsible. Yes, we came here to go to lunch, let’s go to lunch, okay’.”
High libido
However, once lunch was done, they went back to Bill’s and got down to business. Repeatedly.
“It happened four times,” says Evan.
“91 and four times making love!” Bill confirms
Bill says that both his parents lived to a good age. He thinks he gets his libido from his pops, saying, “I take after my father. I came from a family with 10 children, I was number nine.”
Evan says he and Bill still have sex at least once daily.
Besides first dates and sex, Bill also talks about growing up gay in the earlier part of the 20th century. He was born in February 1926. He enlisted in the Navy during World War II and met a male lover whilst stationed in Guam.
However, the man was later shipped back to the US and Bill never heard from him again.
“I figured, ‘What’s the use of being gay when your lover leaves you?’ I thought being gay is not a way of life that I can handle.”
Bill says he put himself through a course of conversion therapy to try and be straight. He remembers having to publicly tell a room of 50 tp 60 doctors that he had been “cured.”
He then married a “sweet” woman, whom he was with for 53 years. Bill says when they married, he was convinced he was straight.
“After she died and I started grief therapy, it all came back to me that I wasn’t really straight,” says Bill.
His therapist encouraged him to try meeting men.
Avoiding gold diggers
He goes on to say he dated a few younger men. However, it soon became clear they were partly motivated by Bill’s money. But that all changed when he met Evan, who he knew was genuinely attracted to him.
Because of his advancing years, Bill is not able to do much himself around the house. Both men admit Evan does all the household chores and provides care.
“I’m a people pleaser … I love taking care of people,” says Evan.
Bill credits the relationship with helping him to thrive to the age of 98.
“I’ve told Evan, I owe you my life. Because I wouldn’t be alive if I hadn’t met you, and become your love. I just love the way he kisses me and treats me like I’m someone important in his life. It’s just a wonderful relationship.”
The video of Bill and Evan went up late last week. It’s prompted many approving comments.
“This is wild but low key cute, great video!” was one well-liked reaction.
“Not many people find this level of happiness,” said another.
Kenneth and Johnny
In case you think Bill and Evan’s story is unique, think again. A few months ago, the New York Times ran an article about another gay couple in a large age-gap relationship.
Kenneth Felts, 93, didn’t come out until the age of 90 via a Facebook post that went viral in 2020. He then met a younger man, Johnny Javier Hau Dzib, now aged 34, who had also struggled to accept his sexuality. Like Evan, Johnny says he was always attracted to much older men.
“I always felt like, how will people react if I start a relationship with someone older?” Johnny told the NY Times. “Perhaps the gay community will see it as odd.”
The two men hit it off immediately and moved in together in 2021. They married last year. During the ceremony, Kenneth read a poem he’d written for the occasion.
“Near the end of my days and in the heat of my night, I found a great love, whom I shall ever hold tight,” he said. “We explore our new world with breathless delight.”
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The men met after sliding into each other’s DMs on Instagram.
LumpyPillows
Moderation….omg.
LumpyPillows
Seriously, why bother?
skeldare
He better be rich.
Chrisk
Hello..Goodbye. About as much as I’m allowed to post. Lol
inbama
Hope for abfab.
Kangol2
So good they found each other.