Gay Republicans in Purgatory

Gay, Conservative and 2012: F*cked, But Not In a Good Way!?

Talk about bad timing. GoProud announced the kick-off of their election cycle plans late last week, stating that their number one goal is “defeating Barack Obama (in 2012).” Self described as “the only national organization representing gay conservatives and their allies,” GoProud calls President Obama’s tenure to-date an “unmitigated disaster for all Americans, including gay and lesbian Americans.”

Um, do they mean other than the historic repeal of Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell? the LGBT inclusive federal hate crimes act? The appointments of hundreds of gays and lesbians to the administration? Or maybe the decision to refuse to defend the federal defense of marriage act, a huge victory for supporters of marriage equality.

Hard to tell where the disaster is in all that. Drama!

Granted gays who put conservative in front of gay when it come to ideology have legit gripes. Many are disappointed in the administration’s handling of the sputtering economy, lack confidence in Obama’s handling of foreign affairs (presumably he gets credit for pulling off the daring raid that killed Osama Bin Laden, without costing a single American life). And they are genuinely disappointed the president has not come out in favor of same-sex marriage, although he is clearly moving in that direction, albeit cautiously. (He probably won’t make the big switcheroo until after the election.)

GoProud states that the “Republican presidential field is shaping up to be an incredibly strong one,” news to all the Republicans who are bemoaning how weak the current field is. Frontrunner Mitt Romney, once a friend of gay rights in the 1990s, now supports a federal ban on same-sex marriage and his Mormon church has spent a reported $30 million fighting gay marriage in California. Why attack Obama for not fully supporting same-sex marriage and then give Romney, who will likely go to his grave opposing marriage equality, a pass?

And the field goes downhill from there. Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich believes the sanctity of marriage is reserved for one man and one woman, at least until he tires of his current wife. (He famously served one of his wives with divorce papers as she lay dying in a hospital bed, and was having an affair with a young political aide while attacking Bill Clinton’s womanizing. He also came out publicly in favor of the Defense of Marriage Act on the birthday of his lesbian half sister, Candace. Nice!)

Then there’s the Donald. Billionaire philanderer Donald Trump compared gay marriage to the unattractive, weird golf putters many of the players use these days in a recent New York Times interview, calling himself “a traditionalist,” except it seems, when he’s dating models–or in his choice of analogies.

The best GOP candidate is Republican Fred Karger. The businessman is fiscally conservative and socially liberal (an admirable place to be, if you ask this blogger), but we’ll be very surprised indeed if GoProud will stand behind the only gay guy running because, well, they don’t think he can capture the nomination.

A friend once described himself as a “bottom who never gets F*cked,” a sort of torment only gay Republicans can really understand. Any way you cut it, they have created an ideology that’s basically impossible to fulfill.

Scott Wallis is co-host of the GayCities-sponsored Swish Edition comedy & interview talk show. He considers himself a Libertarian with a small “l”.