A trans man has been sharing his story about how a one-off “Grindr hook-up” led to an unexpected pregnancy and the birth of a beloved child.
Ash Patrick Schade, 28, of Huntington, West Virginia, told the New York Post he’d been transitioning for two years, taking testosterone and estrogen blockers, when he discovered he was pregnant in February 2020.
Related: Trans man’s emotional TV reveal gets Australia talking
Ash, a mental health worker and PhD student, said he was shocked as he knew the chances of falling pregnant while taking estrogen blockers was extremely rare.
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However, he says he “fell in love with my bump” and stopped taking the hormones to give birth to his daughter, Ronan Shiva.
“I was going through a rough time from 2019 and 2020 and struggled with my mental health due to going through a divorce. I ended up going on Grindr hook-ups and accidentally fell pregnant,” he said.
“It was a huge shock, but I fell in love with my bump and pushed through the pregnancy, despite struggling with the dysphoria and medical risks.
“Ronan is my everything, I love her more than myself.”
Ash said he’d struggled to find a doctor at first.
“Nobody wanted to take my case when I first found out I was pregnant. I was such a high-risk case, with a lot of potential for the pregnancy to go awry.
“But once I was assigned a doctor, he worked with me to understand how I was feeling and what I was going through.”
Related: Trans man fighting to be listed as father on son’s birth certificate
Ash is now raising his child with his new husband, Jordan, 28, a stay-at-home stepdad. Ash met Jordan a month after discovering he was pregnant.
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“Throughout the whole thing I had the love of my husband Jordan supporting me throughout, he even cut Ronan’s cord, he’s been there every step of the way.”
After giving birth, Ash underwent top surgery. However, he says he’s putting off further gender reassignment procedures for the time being as he wants to have more children.
SamB
Poor kid.
cc423
Two loving parents does not render this child “a poor kid.” You should feel sorry for children being raised in homes full of hatred for people like this.
barryaksarben
Poor kid.? Really? most people I know all complain about how horrible their childhoods were and they were ALL raised in a nuclear family in the good ol us of a. Check yourself idiot
SDR94103
is there something wrong with you.
cliche guevara
The only reason to feel sorry for the kid is that she has to grow up in a world that has people like SamB.
capitolgains
Yeah, I think conceiving children through random anonymous hookup sex is kind of crazy. We’re in a whole new world where you’re “conservative” if you think that children **IDEALLY** should be raised by two loving stable parents, and that those parents should not have sex with other people. Stable nuclear family structure is out the window.
whateverokok
Da-n Skippy, you are right SamB! Poor kid indeed. He is now forever going to be a part of the three ring media circus and get treated horribly in school. Moreso than he would already have been treated. But that’s ok because some mamma wannabe wants to have children. These people make a mockery of what It is to be a woman. Lovely. Live and let live I say, as long as it hurts no one else. Keyword: AS LONG AS. This dude failed that, is mentally disturbed sadly, and needs some serious help.
Prinny
Nothing gay here
cuteguy
You’re right, unfortunately the T in LGBTQ makes it our problem
galileo
You’re on Queerty, not Gayerty…
barryaksarben
my guess is you are an old entitled white gay guy of means as you are as horrible as you could possibly be. Do you count Lesbians or is that not gay wither? assholes
UlfRaynor
@ Galileo- I guess you missed Queerty’s main page mantra: “Free of an agenda (except that gay one)”
That’s okay though, the writers for this site often marginalize gay people in support of their gay erasure ideology.
Hank31
On this cray-cray website, heterosexual hookups and Britney Spears nude pics are considered gay news.
bobmister250
@barryaksarben. Our of curiosity, what gives you an indication of his race? It strikes me that you have a preexisting animus towards white people.
Den
Nothing gay here?
Perhaps you need a remedial reading course, a course in how to use your brain, or simply the intellect to deal with complexity in the real world.
The person in question is a F-T-M transsexual, who sees themselves as gay, and is now MARRIED TO A MAN (nothing gay there?). The issue of him delaying any further transition (such as the hysterectomy many F-T-M transpeople have) probably renders this impossible for you to grasp.
cuteguy
Men cannot have children. I hate to admit it but this is where JK Rowling makes sense. We have fought for lgbtq acceptance for so long, this confusion will only bring fodder to the haters. And before ppl on here start saying you cannot care what the haters think, just remember that’s how we had four miserable years of trump bc he stoked fears, and now we have a Supreme Court that could impact a generation and could impact lgbtq rights as we know it. This “trans man” is confused, brought an innocent child into the equation, and that will invoke fears in the moderates who decide elections. I’m all for live and let live, but the far right nut jobs will use this to catapult hate towards ALL lgbtq individuals bc an innocent child is involved.
Heywood Jablowme
The “pregnant people” ship has already sailed, like it or not. What exactly are you advocating here? You want to shame trans men into avoiding any potentially pregnancy-inducing sex? That sort of micro-management of other people’s sex lives is more of a Republican thing.
Kangol2
Except that this man, in a hook up with another man, had a beautiful little daughter. So there’s that!
Openminded
Cuteguy, what part of how seriously the Republicans hate abortion do you not understand? Yes, there will be those that try to twist the fact that a “man can’t have a baby”, but this person made their own free choice to keep this child and from the pics, they were greatly rewarded with a beautiful little girl that very well may do more for their parent’s self esteem and mental health than any gender reassigning surgery can do.
cliche guevara
If you want to let the reactions of bigots govern your life then you haven’t fought for anything. But please, enjoy your seat in the back of the bus and the rest of us will continue the work to gain equality. You are welcome.
capitolgains
I am 100% for trans equality, and I agree that sex is a biological reality. I support trans people who wish to identify as whatever gender they want to be. I also recognize that sex is a biological reality. We can’t wish away biological facts.
Brian
The science isn’t as simple as you claim, and that’s why we have trouble with the language to describe it. It is not a fact that all humans who have ever been born fit neatly into either “man” or “woman” categories. There are people whose chromosomes are not simply XX or XY. There are people have XX makeup with some Y genes on one of their X’s, and there are people with XY makeup who lack some Y genes. There are people who have the genes for maleness on their Y chromosome but also genes that shut those other genes off. There are people who have an X chromosome but low female hormones, and there are people who have a Y chromosome and low testosterone. There are a million other rare combinations of traits that I won’t begin to get into. That’s all to say that our English language lacks precise ways to describe this diversity. We settle on using the old words like “man” and “woman,” but then that means that these minorities will be lumped into those big groups. “Man” does mean that there will be men who are different from you.
Heywood Jablowme
Grindr may want to consider giving its users advice on what a vagina looks like, so as to avoid fvcking one by accident!
Kangol2
The dude who f(cked him probably didn’t mind that he was f(cking a dude with a vulva. For some–not all or even most–gay man the issue is less body parts than gender identity/presentation/performance.
Den
More reasonably, people should be cognizant of the risk of pregnancy for F-T-M’s who have not had (or do not intend to have) hysterectomies. There are a surprising number of gay men who have no issues with having sex with F-T-M transexuals who identify as gay.
Hopefully you were joking, as everybody knows what female genitalia looks like.
DCHomos
The transphobia in these comments tho. Mess.
galileo
And I’d place a pretty safe bet that they’re all eldergays too, the T in LGBTQ was always a silent T for them.
metta
Yep. It is sad to see so many people live in such little boxes.
barryaksarben
Exactly, cant help but think “cuteguy” is anything but. His comment is so fuking ugly. My bet entitled wealthy white gay male of a certain age who are just so horrible. Im am an old white gay guy who loves the entire alphabet and dont blame others for our problems EXCEPT for the people who caused THEM the GOP , trump, NEWT, Reagan and the mega churches greedy pastors
UlfRaynor
@Galilieo- Funny, I don’t recall seeing you marching beside me and a since deceased trans friend during the Harvey Milk candle light march in the seventies. Maybe you just fell behind, lumbering that huge ageist bigotry sign weighing you down where ever you choose to infest with your presence,
or is this just more hypocritical, fascist drivel from a feckless Zoomer whose generations only claim to fame is regurgitating their snarky, goose stepping, gender Reich, ideological fantasy’s and misogynistic marginalizing hatred of women on whatever social medium that allows their gestalt like hatred fueled cultist fervor to fester and infect the likewise weak minded?
Kudos to you and your entire generations spineless conformity, while throwing all previous generations under the bus who fought so hard for you to have the freedom to be openly gay.
Den
“And I’d place a pretty safe bet that they’re all eldergays too”
Here’s a heartfelt FCUK YOU from an “eldergay”. Go crawl back into your ignorant self-absorbed little cave, child. Willing to bet I’m more progressive/inclusive than you will ever be and more of a critical thinker as well (and pretty much all my friends and acquaintances be they gay/lesbian or hetero are as well).
If not for the people of my generation, you might not even have a site like this to bitch and whine ignorantly on. It is particularly sad to see a person who is very likely older than 18 but has not yet realized that the only way to not become an elder is to drop dead.
capitolgains
These comments all show us what happens when we segment society into “groups” and think of “group rights” instead of focusing on human rights and universal liberty.
David Feinberg
I was hoping to find out it the sperm donor (a/k/a Grindr Hookup) knows about this and has or wants anything to do with the child.
Den
If the existing couple are stable in their marriage, or ethical in a future divorce, that is of no consequence, as the child will have caring parents. But it is doubtful a trick from grindr would care or want to be involved at all.
Me2
That’s what I’m wondering too. I absolutely would want to know! I feel like he has an obligation to tell the Grindr hook-up and take it from there. It’s really presumptuous and unfair to assume otherwise. Not to mention denying the child the possibility to connect with her biological father.
SDR94103
so cute! Congrats!
tallfithndsmsxy1
There’s something beautiful about the whole situation. Because there’s lots of us lesbian, gay and trans community that would like to have kids. I have so many questions though. The obvious is obvious it wasn’t safe sex. But was he on Prep? To insure the safety of his health. Is this Grndr hookup aware that he took part in creating human life? I personally think he deserves a right to know whether he wants to be in the child’s life or not. Even for DNA emergency purposes that only a biological father can assist with. As any rate congrats.
UlfRaynor
Educate yourself, Prep is not safe for those assigned female at birth.
That message is on blast in almost every Prep commercial out there.
gayagenda69
Right?? After reading this, I’m NEVER having sex with a trans man ever. This story is sickening! Dick & ass only for me, please!
Me2
I agree! The biological father has a right to know and he has an obligation to tell him. Though I can see how this could get messy. Either way, if it were me, I’d want to know and I’d want to be in the child’s life.
Kangol2
Such an adorable little girl and I hope her daddy can be the best father to her he’s capable of being. I also do hope he lets the Grindr hook up know that he’s a father too!
gayagenda69
Do you honestly think they know who the other dad is though? Grindr is Grindr. Highly doubt they know who the dad is
Hank31
@gayagenda69 There is no other daddy. There’s just one and it’s not the trans-identified female in this story.
Kangol2
@Gayagenda, I’m not sure if this man identifies he or they, but if he recalls who he met on Grindr he can contact that person.
I’m ignoring the response of the transphobe, who’s always at a pitch of hysteria about stories like this.
Essie
The baby looks just like her daddy!! Also, maybe the new husband should think about adopting the kid , to make things legal, just in case.
Hank31
There’s no photo of the daddy, just the baby mama.
Hank31
lol! Gross!
Den
What’s gross is the right wing, narrow minded, hetero attitude you demonstrate. Cam might think you just another name for some mythical individual troll, but I think you are your own class of backwards idiot. We really have no need in the 21st century for people who think like they did in the 14th. We simply laugh at you.
RedShoeDiariez
Homophobia is so LAST CENTURY. What matters is that this baby will be loved..
blazer68
Why must we destroy members of our own community/family. Doesn’t the Right and the Religious freaks do that enough already. If having a relationship with a trans-man or trans-woman is not in your comfort zone, then why turn that into internalized homophobia/transphobia. (Or just plain mean spiritedness and hate) We are all colors, all genders, all sexes, and all people.
Openminded
This is more on a side note of the article. I wish there could also be attention shined on the statement that she had a challenge finding a MD to handle her pregnancy do to all the circumstances that could create an early end to it. This is code for the lawyers have created an environment where an OB can’t hardly afford to stay in business because even if “mommy” is an alcoholic, meth using, skydiving, risk taker, IF anything short of a perfect pregnancy with a perfect child comes from the pregnancy, the parent can almost always win a large financial settlement from the OB’s alleged malpractice. It’s sad that this parent had to search for a healthcare provider for her pregnancy. Fortunately, it appears this pregnancy turned out a beautiful little girl.
Openminded
Crap, I hate not being able to edit anymore. I meant “due to” not “do to”
GameBoy
The absolute disgusting transphobia in here, the child looks absolutely happy and beautiful, so much evil in people to judge someone parenting skills because of your ignorance..
whateverokok
Transphobia or truth. Sometimes, thinks that look one way are in fact another.
TheX86
Raw, Vaginal sex happened, of course it ended in pregnancy. Pretending to be “shocked” is asinine. The commentators here can choose to play dumb, just like this woman if they’d like, there is NOTHING Gay about a dick inside a vagina. It’s the VERY same sex our Parents had to makes which is the same sex she had to create this baby. You can’t “identify” as a gay man, that’s not how it works. You think all of those actual gays in the 60’s, 70’s & 80’s would have gone through what they did if people knew the person they were screwing had a vagina ? You think Harvey Milk would have been killed if they knew he was laid up in bed with someone who has a vagina ? You think Matthew Shepard would have been tortured & killed if they knew he was sexing vaginas ? NO. None of them would have died for having heterosexual sex. They were killed because they love MEN. You can screw who you choose, but if you find yourself knee-deep in someone’s vagina & you like it you are BISEXUAL period! Is actual gays didn’t go through the blood, sweat, tears we went through for liking men for you to call us “bigots” because our sense-sex attraction doesn’t include vaginas.