Time to get acquainted with the Proud Boys, an adult “Western chauvinist” fraternity.

They’re rowdy, raunchy, avidly pro-Trump.

They live by one credo only: “the West is the best.”

They exist to “glorify the entrepreneur” and “venerate the housewife.”

Related: D.C. night club receives threats after refusing to host “Deploraball” for white supremacists

They allow gay and non-white members, just as long as they “recognize that white men are not the problem.”

Though the story didn’t make waves last week, “anti-fascist protestors” allegedly clashed with these Proud Boys while its leader — former FOX correspondent Gavin McInnes — prepared to give a speech at NYU.

How does one become a Proud Boy? As Medium reports, it’s complicated.

To give you a vague sense, watch this guy double-fist cans of beer, eat pizza off the floor, and be repeatedly punched by his peers while reciting the names of various breakfast cereals.

It’s okay to be confused at this point: 


This video shows the three phases of becoming a Proud Boy, and again, it involves getting hit a lot. While reciting the names of cereal.


How happy were Proud Boys when Trump got elected?

This happy:

Proud Boys are strongly encouraged to abstain from masturbation, which will apparently positively transform their life.

McInnes often uses the hashtag #nowanks, claiming self-pleasuring more than once a month makes you less interested in sex.

However, if you’re within a yard of any woman, you can absolutely masturbate as often as you want — as long as she consents.

This bizarre vid from Politico shows what happens when Proud Boys get together: They get wasted, beat each other up, and read liberally and aloud from Pat Buchanan’s Death of the West.

Related: The entire Internet is laughing at Trump supporters and their misspelled #BoycottBudwiser hashtag

They also take to the streets to push around leftist activists and protestors, occasionally licking their faces.

They chant “USA! USA!” regularly, and are prone to wearing those red “Make America Great Again” hats.

Proud Boys claim to embrace concepts of “neo-masculinity,” even though they’re named after “Proud Of Your Boy,” a song from Aladdin, the decidedly not hyper-masculine Disney musical.

Keep an eye out for Proud Boys by looking for their uniform: black Fred Perry polo shirt with yellow stripes.

They may also be singing their theme song, which sounds like this:

And that’s more than enough about The Proud Boys for one lifetime.

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated