Rachel Maddow sat down with 2020 hopeful Pete Buttigieg for a live interview Monday night that covered a wide range of topics, including being closeted and coming out.
In the interview, Maddow who, like Buttigieg, was also a Rhodes Scholar, said she couldn’t imagine staying in the closet for as long as he did.
“I think it would have killed me to be closeted for that long,” she said without hyperbole. “Not coming out until your early 30s, I just wonder if that was hurtful to you? If it hurt you to do it?”
“It was hard,” Buttigieg answered. “It was really hard.”
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“Coming out is hard,” Maddow said. “But being in the closet is harder.”
“It took me plenty of time to come out to myself,” Buttigieg replied. “I did not the way you did or my husband did figure out at such an early age. I probably should have.”
He continued: “There were certainly plenty of indications by the time I was 15 or so that I could point back [and say] ‘yeah, this kid’s gay.’ I guess I just really needed to not be. There’s this war that breaks out inside a lot of people when they realize that they might be something they’re afraid of. It took me a very long time to resolve that.”
It wasn’t until he was serving in Afghanistan that Buttigieg realized it was time to start living his truth.
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“You don’t know how long you have on this earth,” he told Maddow. “And by the time I came back, I realized, ‘I gotta do something.'”
Buttigieg also discussed the reaction he has gotten from people as an openly gay candidate.
“Don’t get me wrong,” he said. “As you know, there’s plenty of ugliness that comes in from all over the place. Most people I think are either supportive or even enthusiastic about the idea of the first out person going this far. Or they find a way to let me know they don’t care, and that’s historic, too.”
Watch.
yaletownman
I think his coming out story is relatable for a lot of us. I came out in my late 20’s. It took time and work for me to accept myself. I too am envious of those who were able to accept themselves at an early age and find the courage to live their truth but I know first hand that for many of us it wasn’t that way.
biron62
Yes, agree his coming out is relatable I too came out late in life. He speaks of wanting to make it easier for the next person in his position. So maybe more LGBT people will be more involved in public office?
Beachman
This was the best interview yet I’ve seen of Buttigieg. He’s so honest and authentic you can’t help but fall for him after listening to him for a few minutes. But what Rachel was able to do as a lesbian was dig into areas of personal identity that have never been questioned before of a political candidate, let alone one running for national office on a TV show televised all over the world. It was brilliant, raw, awkward, and touching. There is no right or wrong way to come out…we all know it is a very personal journey that we each must make in our own way. And Maddow’s interview very cleverly exposed the world to both her and Mayor Pete’s coming out journeys in a way unlike I have ever witnessed.
jmutti
I agree 100%. Definitely Pete’s best interview thus far!
I came out very late in life at age 56. Like Mayor Pete, it took me a long time to accept myself…only 20+ years longer than him!
It matters not when we come out. It is a very personal journey. I celebrate my sexuality with my soul mate, my best friend, my husband almost every day. I’ve never been happier!!
Run Pete, Run!!! America needs you!!
lather
I thought it was his best interview as yet. I only wish that Rachael or Pete would have emphasized more that we are all different and so there are many different experiences and degrees of pain surrounding coming out. It’s no big deal to some and to others it can lead to suicidal thoughts.
We are not all alike. And that’s not a bad thing.
OzJosh
Buttigieg is enormously likeable and he does a very good job of finessing an answer to Maddow’s question. But whatever the difficulties of being out in the military or when running to elected office, I can’t help having somewhat less respect for those who’ve opted to stay closeted for the sake of personal advancement, while leaving the heavy lifting to others. But at least he seems ready to make up for that now.
Daggerman
..the only thing I think of when Mr. Buttigieg talks about coming out is the gargantuan amount of gay men still in the closet, and due to the fear of being identified must join in the condemnation of homosexuality!….as long as they can merge in with their hetero counter parts–they’re safe????
Durwood
As a Brit who cares what I think. I came out at the age of 16 in the 70’s and every imaginable career was shut down to me.
I think it’s cool Pete is standing, but I’d like to see his being gay as incidental. I’d love to see the focus on his political manifesto.
Miles
I thought Rachel was a bit stiff with him for some reason. She was leaning back from him during the interview and she usually reads a little warmer.