The good folks over at The Stranger recently conducted a survey about the “most f*ckable” members of the Trump Administration.
Nearly 9,000 people of various genders, backgrounds, and sexual orientations participated in the study.
The cabinet members included: Donald Trump, Mike Pence, Kellyanne Conway, Jared Kushner, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, Ben Carson, Betsy Devos, and Omarosa Manigault, who technically isn’t a member of the administration anymore but whatevz.
Now, here are the eight members ranked by gay men:
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And here are the rankings provided by bi guys:
Not-so-surprisingly, Jared Kushner ranks #1 male for both gay and bi guys. Meanwhile, Omarosa Manigault ranks #1 female.
Donald Trump comes in last for both groups.
Interestingly, bi guys find Ben Carson more f*ckable than Mike Pence. Meanwhile, gay guys find Mike Pence more f*ckable than Ben Carson, which is sorta weird given that Pence is, hands down, the most homophobic member of the Trump Administration.
The Stranger pontificates:
Maybe it’s an internalized homophobia thing? Or maybe gay guys want to stick it to Pence by sticking it in him? Or maybe gay guys are more likely to be racist than bi guys? Or maybe gay guys think of Carson as “cute” and Pence as a “daddy”? And bi guys prefer cuteness and gay men prefer daddies? Who knows. I’m grasping at straws.
The survey concluded by asking respondents how traumatized they were by having to imagine sex with these eight members of the Trump’s cabinet. They were then asked to slide a dot across a bar and place it in the spot that best corresponded to their feelings.
Gay men found the survey slightly more traumatizing than bi men, ranking the experience about a 6 out of 10, whereas bi men gave it about a 5 out of 10.
Related: What’s It Like To Have Kinky Gay Sex With Donald Trump?
Hussain-TheCanadian
Jared strikes me as the kind of guy who’d cry after sex.
Who’d fck kellyanne conway???
Scout
LOL!! I agree. I also think he’d bleed.
Heywood Jablowme
Steven Miller couldn’t even get on this list. Sad!
Scout
And that’s a mistake. Believe it or not, he is kind of hot in a swimsuit!
IWantAFullBeard
The balding teenager psychopath? His mom doesn’t even want him.
Aires the Ram
I’m surprised Donald Trump Jr. didn’t make the list. He’s very handsome. I don’t like him, but I think he should have made the list.
Scout
I’d do the Jr. in a heartbeat! I hope Kimberly Gilfoyle’s having fun.
Is there anybody else out there who thinks Donald Jr and Jesse Watters would make a hot 3-way?
luvit00
no no no no no no no NO
Godabed
All of this for me as well. Who answered these questions with anything but “no”
TomG
Sorry, but since these people are disgusting ON THE INSIDE, that makes them unf*ckable, at least for me.
MikeE
Exactly!
Even if they all looked like Thor they’d be completely unf*ckable.
Mack
Oh I think both Donald Jr and Kushner both would be bitches. And I think they’ve both been there too.
ElPillo
This is the nastiest article. Gross
PLAYS WELL WITH OTHERS
I just threw up in my mouth…..
IWantAFullBeard
Jared Kushner over Mike Pence? How unbelievably disgusting. At least with Mike Pence you know he is experienced enough to clean out properly.
JoeyRamone
Trump Jr for a good Hate F*#K all the way for me. Make him my bitch and like my shoes before I pound him raw.
James
FILE THIS ARTICLE UNDER SELF HATING AND STUPID. CRUISING PEOPLE WHO HATE YOU………… ONLY LOSERS DO THAT.