Nobody likes going out to the gay bar all by his lonesome. Not only is is awkward, but it can be boring, and some may even feel embarrassment, although one should not. That’s why everyone needs a great wingman.
A wingman is a friend–not necessarily a close friend–who’s fun to drink with. He keeps you company and gives you an added boost of confidence as you wait for the cute guy you noticed earlier to hurry up and notice you back.
Of course, being a great wingman takes loyalty and discipline. It requires more than meeting up outside the bar together then going on your separate ways once you’ve made it past the velvet rope.
Here are six tips on how to be a great wingman at a gay bar…
1. Keep a balanced ratio between time spent on your phone and time spent with your friend.
Nobody wants to hang out with someone who’s constantly on their phone checking out guys on the SCRUFF, the ultimate example of redundancy. Perusing who’s nearby and then seeing if you can spot them in the crowd is fine, but keep it to a minimum, boys. The focus should be on your friend, not your next booty call.
At least for the first round of drinks.
2. When meeting a new guy, be sure to introduce your friend, too.
If a guy walks over and strikes up conversation with you, don’t turn your back on your friend. Include him. If you have no idea how to do this, here’s a hint: “This is my friend so-and-so.” Incorporate him into the conversation. The idea is not just to get yourself laid–it’s to get him laid, too. No wingman is successful until you both have exchanged numbers with a few cute guys or are doing the whole Your-Place-Or-Mine? dance.
Never leave your bud awkwardly sitting on the bar stool next to you as you get your flirt on. It’s rude.
3. Ask permission to leave.
Say you’ve met a guy and the two of you are really hitting it off. You think it might be a love connection or, more likely, a lust one that will never go anywhere farther than the bedroom. Before you sneak away together, be sure to ask your friend’s permission to go, and confirm that he’s working his own hot number. Chances are he’ll give you his blessing. But if he doesn’t, respect his wishes.
Remember: Bros before hoes.
4. Try not to make out with him.
The bar is dead. There are no cute guys around. But you’re still feeling randy. Whatever you do, try not to make out with your friend. He’s your wingman, after all. And the whole point of a wingman is that you don’t do those things together. He might be kinda cute, and you might be drunk and horny, but still the benefits of a wingman outweigh yet another cheap trick.
5. What happens at the bar stays at the bar.
OK, OK. Let’s say the alcohol gets the better of you and you end up with your tongues down each other’s throats. Or someone else’s. Or you get a little crotch grabby. Just remember this: What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar, and you are not to text your other wingmen: OMG, you won’t believe what Johnny and I just did in the bathroom! Be sure to set boundaries. Make sure you both know it was a one time thing.
Until the next time it happens, that is.
6. Don’t do the “I saw him first!” thing
If you and your wingman happen to crush on the same guy, don’t. First of all, your wingman should have radically different taste than you. If he likes older tall tops, for instance, you should probably like something different, like Latin drag queens or geeky twinks. You are there for each other, not to fight over the same guy, no matter how attractive.
If it simply cannot be helped, and the hot guy in the corner is absolutely perfect for both of you, there’s an easy solution: Fight it out. (Kidding!) Work out a great line together in advance, go directly up to the lucky lad (preferably with a stiff drink for him), and propose a three way. It’s a win-win-win.