As it turns out, Trump attorney Alina Habba isn’t just a butcher when it comes to practicing law. She’s a butcher with the knife, too!

A briefly ubiquitous presence in MAGA world, Habba was keeping a low profile after Trump fired her via social media and left her open to litigation. But she suddenly reappeared Monday in a dingy Manhattan courthouse, where the disgraced ex-president is sitting trial.

No longer part of Trump’s legal team, Habba spoke to berated reporters outside of the courtroom. She ranted and raved about the hush-money case and blah blah blah.

“It’s an affront to the American Constitution. It’s an affront to our judicial system. And it’s an affront to every lawyer who cares about their license, who cares about right and wrong,” she yelled. “I am sick of coming in front of the press and saying this, but you have to, because you people need to understand what’s going on.”

Inside of the courtroom, Trump is facing charges that he falsified financial docs to cover up hush money payments given to Stormy Daniels, who says she had an affair with him in 2011. The payments occurred in the lead up to the 2016 election.

The case involves all sorts of shady members from Trump’s past, including his ex-fixer Michael Cohen and media exec David Pecker, the former National Enquirer boss who paid off sources who claimed to have disparaging info on the now-77-year-old.

On Tuesday morning, one of Trump’s current attorneys, Todd Blanche, was reprimanded by the judge for Trump’s repeated violations of the court-imposed gag order. He isn’t supposed to disparage witnesses and the jury, which is pretty much all he does.

On Monday night, Trump quoted Fox News commentator Jesse Watters, who claimed potential jurors are “undercover liberal activists.” (Watters also says it’s “cruel and unusual” punishment for Trump to sit trial four days per week, because he’s “usually exercising.”)

Without an official role on Trump’s defense, Habba has been left out of the action…so far. She tried to reassert herself in a big way yesterday, only for reporters to laugh at her when she stormed away.


“Our taxpayer dollars, my time, our attorneys fees are all here, because they’re afraid of 2024. And you know what? They should be,” she threatened. “The American people are not stupid. They see what’s going on. Thank you.”

Monday’s episode wasn’t the first time that Habba has publicly humiliated herself in service of Defendant Trump. Her peers skewered her work representing Trump in his defamation trial against E. Jean Carroll, who successfully sued him for $83.5 million in penalties.

“From my perspective, I would regret having her represent him,” said one of Trump’s former attorneys. “I think in both these trials, he was essentially un-defended.”

Plucked from obscurity, Habba arrived on Trump’s radar after she tricked an employee of Trump National Golf Club in Bedminster into signing an NDA in a parking lot after she alleged she was sexually assaulted by a manager.

For a short time, she was also filling in for MIA Melania, appearing at her boss’ political events and even accompanying him to his tacky New Year’s Eve party featuring Vanilla Ice.

Speaking of tacky Mar-a-Lago parties, Habba is a mainstay at the gaudy resort. Notably, she was photographed at a holiday party, alongside her bestie…ex-RHONJ embarrassment Siggy Flicker.

That’s relevant to the story, because Habba just spent Passover with Flicker, who posted a video of her chopping celery in her kitchen.

Except, she wasn’t really chopping. More like…attacking.

Grimacing viewers were quick to point out that Habba isn’t holding her fingers in place, and seems to be in danger of chopping them off. She was also working with a really, really dull knife.

Thump! Thump! Thump! Time for dinner!

It’s utterly bizarre that Flicker would film those kitchen crimes and post them on social media, but she probably has a lot on her mind these days. Her stepson was arrested last week for storming the Capitol on January 6.

And we know one thing she shouldn’t do: hire Habba to defend him!

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated