God bless the Spanish media for its commendable coverage of Cristiano Ronaldo getting frisky with a male companion on a yacht in Saint Tropez (what a classy string of words), but could someone please let us know who this mystery man is?
— LGBT News (@LGTBNews) June 4, 2015
In the meantime, we’ll just have to enjoy these five other weird, undeniably hot times Cristiano has popped into our feed:
When he self-wedgied:
When he had his nipples triangulated, for science:
When he got all artsy:
When taught the world’s least accurate anatomy class:
And let’s not forget when he unveiled his well-endowed statue: