God bless the Spanish media for its commendable coverage of Cristiano Ronaldo getting frisky with a male companion on a yacht in Saint Tropez (what a classy string of words), but could someone please let us know who this mystery man is?
GENTE > @Cristiano Ronaldo y su cariñosa foto con un amigo en un barco da que hablar http://t.co/CrXHQgAM2E pic.twitter.com/Q7vgtptQ2W
— LGBT News (@LGTBNews) June 4, 2015
In the meantime, we’ll just have to enjoy these five other weird, undeniably hot times Cristiano has popped into our feed:
When he self-wedgied:
When he had his nipples triangulated, for science:
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
When he got all artsy:
When taught the world’s least accurate anatomy class:
And let’s not forget when he unveiled his well-endowed statue:
Michael Martinez
Doesn’t look like he has to step forward, looks like something else has filled the gap between them.
John Howard Fearman
never happens to me.
McShane
It’s Jose Semedo.
https://twitter.com/JVSemedo
Kangol
@McShane: Thanks, McShane. After seeing the Twitter feed and pix of Semedo, I’m not surprised Cristiano Ronaldo can’t keep his hands off him. Sexy man.
Kirk Montrealer
I think CR is touching the side of the guys thigh. not his crotch…but still hot.
Dgrin
sorry to burst that bubble but if you zoom in you can see from the tempered pixels that their bulges have been enhanced and hands have been moved to different positions.
Matthew Sirvent
Casey Andrews
barkomatic
That statue is over the top.
meghanada
@Dgrin: Photoshop truthers are everywhere these days, eh!
Jim Guinnessey
You have to love him and all the hot Portugese men.
Captain Obvious
I’m sure this killed all the American women who think he’s straight. He seems to do this kind of thing a lot but looking at him is enough to see it to be honest.
Captain Obvious
@Dgrin: Oh please. McShane linked his obvious boyfriend’s Twitter and there are way more pics of them all over each other with no females in sight.
Do you know any straight guys who vacation together on yachts and bring no female companions?
Funny how this is the exact same type of pic that Queen Latifah was outed with and no one cried Photoshop.
jason smeds
Men bond all the time by touching each other. It’s a form of sexual reassurance. It says “we’re men, we’re straight, and we share a common goal”. Gay-identifying men could never understand the subtleties of male bonding.
meghanada
@jason smeds: Is that is the most closeted-gay post ever written?
DarkZephyr
@jason smeds: Why do you exist?
Saint Law
@jason smeds: They don’t bond with you tho do they, shitbag.
Jake Riley
https://images.bookish.com/cms/1395694411620-Hunger3.gif
SpunkyBunks
Cristiano Ronaldo is my hero. He don’t give a shit!
MarionPaige
Mr. Ronaldo doesn’t appear to be aging. He looks great.
Giancarlo85
@Captain Obvious: Oh please. Look up Cristiano on the internet with various women. And there are photos with a lot more than one woman. He’s a womanizer. You can keep dreaming. I like fellow countryman Jaime Rodriguez, but like Cristiano, he’s definitely straight. By the way, Cristiano has many pictures of him on yacht trips with various females. Look in Europe, they have a far different mentality than here in the US and in Latin America. Men hug each other and even kiss each other on the cheeks. There are pictures of Colombian and other South American footballers doing that too. Also look up Swedish footballer Zlatan Ibrahimovic and Gerard Pique. Again they are FRIENDS.
In America someone touches someone else it’s a sexual harassment lawsuit. Any form of touching in America is viewed as sexual (this basically destroys your and Smeds argument).
One final thing… I can appreciate certain straight men, but I’m not going to sit here and fantastize about obviously straight men.
@jason smeds: You are so full of shit. You are such a hideous ugly self hater. Male bonding? Do you realize gay men can do that too? Is everything sexual for you?
Giancarlo85
@Giancarlo85: Correction: Look in Europe and Latin America, they have a far different mentality than here in the US.
tjr101
Ugh, here we go again with the gay guys on Queerty and their lust for good looking straight men. Do you people realize that European men are way more affectionate to each other and it in no way has any sexual meaning behind it? It’s hard for American society to grasp this because of the general macho = straight culture we live in.
jason smeds
A lot of you are simply jealous of male bonding. It’s something you’ll never share in. That’s why you go around with your bi-focal lenses checking to see which men are touching each other and where. You want to note it and comment on it. You feel compelled to drop innuendo like you would a burp.
The simple fact is that you are foreigners to male bonding. Only men who share a common sexual goal without wanting to invade each other can achieve this. That’s why you’ll be permanent Gladys Kravitzes with your bi-focals and so forth.
jason smeds
tjr101,
That’s not necessarily true. American men are hugely affectionate with each other after a few drinks. Perhaps you’re not seeing it.
Ron Parsons
No one going to comment about the tent in the red shorts? ð??ð?»
mododavid
I thought I was oversexed. Well, I am, but you guys are a lot worse. In the first pic (longer distance) Cristiano has both hands on the guy’s back. The blown up pic is obviously him in the process of giving the guy a hug. No harm in fantasizing though.
Giancarlo85
@jason smeds: You are completely clueless if you think gay men cannot bond in a nonsexual way. This just goes to show your true colors. You think gay men are inferior to straight men and you yourself fantasize about straight men.
Here is a news flash for you… Gay men can bond much the same way. For a sex crazed old man like you, you just don’t think it is possible. Take your self depreciating self hatred somewhere else, smeds. We already know you’re a bigot
jason smeds: Except you know that isn’t true. American men are hardly ever affectionate with each other when drunk. Thanks for contradicting yourself though.
Eddy Hernandez
Mary Buitron
Paul Scawthorn
Anthony Mark Smith
jason smeds
Gay-identifying men are obsessed with seeing other men as sex objects. It’s really sad and limiting. Straight-identifying men can at least see other men as fellow journey men. It’s something that most gay men will never understand.
Giancarlo85
@jason smeds: And he posts the usual repetition again. Come on smeds… come up with some new material. Straight “identifying” men see other men as “fellow journey men”? Are you fucking high on drugs? Smoking too much laced reefer.
Paco
@jason smeds: Abner!!!
Saint Law
@jason smeds: “American men are hugely affectionate with each other after a few drinks.”
It isn’t ‘affection’ when you have to break out the Rohypnol, you frustrated old fuck.
Saint Law
Lol watching Smeds go in to meltdown.
NoelG
@jason smeds: your comments are extraordinarily weird.
Milk
@Captain Obvious: If you take the US male touching phobia culture out of the equation. It’s not that difficult to imagine some men have no issue with closeness beyond getting sexual with each other.
stranded
@barkomatic: I know! Even the statue has noticeable package.