Carol, a 43-year-old old mother of two living in the U.K., is pissed. Not only did the man she marry turn out to be gay, but now people are calling him an “inspiration” and a “role model” for coming out after spending his entire life in the closet. And she’s not having any of it.
“I was disgusted by this,” she recently told the BBC, “that someone actually considered him to be both of these things when he had spent our entire relationship lying.”
Carol continued: “To me, there is nothing to be proud of. He destroyed our family through his failure to admit that he was, in fact, gay.”
Carol and her husband were married in 2003. She says they were “very happy and in love” and even produced two children together.
Then strange things started happening.
About six years into their marriage, she found gay dating profiles on her husband’s computer. When she confronted him about it, he explained them away. Then, in 2009, he finally told her he was bisexual. A year after that, he came out as gay.
“I thought my whole world had fallen apart,” Carol said, “but then he came back and said let’s stay together for the sake of the kids. I didn’t know what to do so we lived a lie for two years. To anyone else we looked like a normal happy couple.”
After giving it the old college try, the pair finally decided it was probably best to dissolve their union and go their separate ways.
Four years later, Carol still isn’t over everything that happened.
“For me it is a trust issue,” she said. “How can I trust anyone again? I can’t compete with other men. I’m a woman. But he should have been truthful from the start.”
“It would have been easier if it had been a woman,” she continued, “at least he would have loved me in the first place. He says he loved me, but I don’t believe him.”
And as for other gay men considering marrying unsuspecting women, Carol had this piece of advice:
“You have to be honest with yourself and your partner, especially when kids are involved. Not knowing your own sexuality and taking time to decide hurts everyone involved. Be true to who you are.”
What do you think? Is Carol being too hard on her ex-husband? And is it possible that he did love her even though he is attracted to men? Sound off in the comments below.