Fuck the Oscars, you're not really, truly famous until gay rumors start circulating.

Michael Musto helps Ellen Page's celebrity case along today. The Juno actress, he points out, doesn't seem to have much of a dating history, unless you count her "relationship" with Ben Foster, which she later denied. And then there's the whole Oscar dating situation:

Who did she go to the Oscars with? I couldn't tell from the cropped shots of her, but it looked like she was maybe with her mother? For guys, that used to signify 100% gay, but for girls, it might just mean young and/or Canadian–or, um, gay.

And then there was the web item saying "Ellen Page is an out lesbian," but for all I know the guy who ran that is the same douche who started the whole "Marcia Cross is coming out" campaign. Come on, people, help me out of this mess! Before I get stampeded by publicists shrieking, "This is an invasion of privacy!" (yeah, yeah, shut up, this is what I do), let's put the dykey pieces together. Is Juno a you know? And if so, which male will they quickly match her up with? Zac Efron?

Sounds good to us!

• From this week's In Touch. That's all you need to know…

• Washington tops California for [second] most gay politicians. New Hampshire wins with seven.

• Gaydar exists.

• Ontario's out Health Minister George Smitherman comes out against gay organ donor ban.

• Porn producer Bryan Kocis' father files lawsuit against son's alleged killers, Harlow Cuadra and Joseph Kerekes.

CONTINUED »

Zac Efron is proud as pie to be featured on Details magazine's latest cover. Not only does the actor respect the monthly men's magazine, but he's apparently an avid reader. How predictable!

Here's some video from behind the Details shoot, during which Efron admits having an unhealthy obsession with Leonardo DiCaprio. Now, we know you'll probably say that makes Efron gay - we would! - but he's okay with that: "Honestly, if the worst [you] can say about me is that I'm gay, then I think I'll be fine. I can handle it." Good.

Disney stars Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens' relationship comes under further scrutiny this morning. Blogger JJ of JJ's Dirt claims to have "exclusive details" about their publicity-driven antics. His "details," however, amount to nothing more than speculation and bring nothing new to the well greased gossip mill:

After speaking with a Hollywood star close to the couple, it was revealed that the two were only requested to use one another for publicity means.

Recently though, things hit a rocky patch and Efron threatened to pull out all together as he was tired of faking his life. So don't believe the photo ops, including the one above of the two FRIENDS at the Palm Springs International Film Festival…

It's all about some coin and publicity.

Well Hudgens better tell her friend Efron to lay off the bronzer. He's looking pretty scary - and may or may not be morphing into Clay Aiken.

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Out magazine asked readers to vote on who they find to be the gayest person*: Lance Bass, Stephen Colbert, Big Bird, Zac Efron, Gandhi or Bill O'Reilly. Note that O'Reilly's in the lead and Bass hasn't even ranked. This makes us wonder, of course, which definition people are using…

*The magazine's lawyers must have stepped in, because they have a disclaimer: "Obligatory ridiculous reminder and disclaimer: Only their hairdresser knows for sure who they're sleeping with!"

John Waters prove that gays boys make the best sons. The Hairspray creator escorted his beautiful mother to last night's premier in Baltimore, his home town.

The cast and crew - including Zac Efron, Elijah Kelly, Nikki Blonsky and John Travolta defender Adam Shankman - danced the night away after enjoying yet another viewing of the musical remake of the 1988 classic.

And, no, we don't think Mama Waters cut a rug, but we bet she could if she wanted…