Broken eggs

Easter at the White House has been ruined thanks to Melania Trump. Sad!

For nearly 140 years, the annual Easter Egg Roll has been the biggest single public event held at the White House, drawing over 35,000 people from around the country, including local schoolchildren, military families, Congressional guests, and members of the general public.

Until now.

According to sources, the high-profile 138-year tradition is being significantly scaled back due to lack of planning by the White House. More specifically, due to lack of planning by Melania Trump.

Apparently, she’s been too busy squeezing that $2.9 million out of the DailyMail for publishing that unflattering story about her last year to focus on her role as first lady. #Priorities.

Related: Melania Trump was just paid $2.9 million, or roughly what we spend to protect her for 3 weeks

Since 1878, the Easter Egg Roll has always been coordinated by the first lady. Seeing as how Mrs. Trump not only lives 200 miles away from the White House, but has yet to bother putting together an official staff, this year’s event, like Trump’s numbers in the popular vote, is expected to underperform bigly.

The New York Times reports the event is being “quickly thrown-together” and is expected to draw about 20,000 people. That might seem like a lot, but it pales in comparison to the 37,000 that attended last year.

But that’s not all.

Each year, the White House orders wooden Easter eggs from Wells Wood Turning in Maine. The eggs are handed out as gifts and sold as souvenirs. But this year, Melania failed to get the order in on time, despite the company’s attempts at alerting both she and her husband, as well as Ivanka, via Twitter to let them know time was running out over a month ago:

As a result, the eggs could not be manufactured in time.

On top of all that, a spokesperson for the D.C. area public schools, which usually gets around 4,000 tickets to the event, tells the New York Times that they haven’t even been approached this year. Neither has the American Military Partner Association, an organization that represents military families. Oh, and no tickets have been distributed to members of Congress to give to their constituents either.

Also, the event typically features Sesame Street costumes provided by PBS Kids, but because the first lady submitted her request so last minute, only one costumed character will be able to attend.

Finally, no celebrity entertainers have been announced or are even expected.

Of course, the White House, being the White House, insists that everything’s totally fine! It says the Easter Egg Roll is going to be the best, the greatest, the most tremendous, the most incredible Easter Egg Roll ever. Just you wait!

How could it not be with the Trumps in charge?

Related: The entire Internet is pissed at Melania Trump for ruining Easter at the White House

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69 Comments

  • Alan down in Florida

    They asked Melania what she had in mind for the egg roll and she replied “I don’t like Chinese food.”

    • pcorm00

      That was so funny!

    • 1EqualityUSA

      “Hello, children. Easter is not all it’s cracked up to be. No yolk intended. I shell not forget this most eggscellent day, hastily put together by staff whom I have yet to meet. There must be a dozen of you. Enjoy this pagan ritual and praise Ishtar, the Assyrian and Babylonian goddess of fertility and sex. Ova and out.”

    • rtmartinez

      LMFAO……that is hilarious! Good one!

  • olfwob

    I guess Melania ordered the eggs weeks ago…. in China – as her husband did with the steel for his buldings.

    • pcorm00

      Thank you for supporting globalism!

  • whatevz

    one would think the stupid homeschooled inbred fake christian conservative crowd would be outraged about this but their old racist president hates brown people just as much as they do so whatevz

  • kurt_t

    “at alerting both she and her husband”

    at alerting both her and her husband. The pronoun takes the objective form in this context, as it is the object of the gerund “alerting.”

    With regard to the content of the story, the First Lady can’t even find a dress designer willing to work with her. How is she going to round up enough gays to throw an Easter party for 37,000?

    • MacAdvisor

      As a man who regularly wears a t-shirt sporting the phrase, “Grammar Police: To Correct and Serve,” I say, “G-d bless you.”

    • grammrsnob

      Thanks, Kurt_t,
      Sure you stole my thunder, but I bow to you and your knowledge.
      And Graham, while the piece was a fine observation, your tag does say “editor.” You should know better; it makes a difference.

    • Sluggo2007

      You all seriously need to get laid.

    • 1EqualityUSA

      And then afterward, they could say, “We have lain.”

  • jckfmsincty

    How laughable. These people can’t do anything right.

    • pcorm00

      It’s a stupid tradition. It was limited to a few lucky kids. What about all the rest of us. Let’s do something where everyone can benefit. That event was just a publicity stunt!

    • Goforit

      pcorm00 Publicity stunts are the only thing Trump has going for him. And apparently he can’t even do that right.

    • DCguy

      pcorm00, Except you’re lying.

      Last year’s White House Easter Egg Roll had over 35,000 people including thousands of local school kids.

      But please, keep on making up any fake fact to try to defend Trump.

    • dwes09

      @pcorm00:
      Apparently you have the brains of a corm, and care nothing for public school kids or the kids of veterans if they are not in service of a regressive agenda. Tradition fosters loyalty better than the haughtiness routinely displayed by the first family. If you actually want to do something that benefits “everybody” let’s see you arguing against cutting funding of the states, the arts, economic support for the disadvantaged, withdrawing medical coverage from millions, and undermining public education to further feed an already bloated and wasteful military.

  • IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou

    PBS should have told the Eastern Bloc whore due to her husband’s budget cuts they couldn’t afford to send anyone at all.

    • pcorm00

      Well, what do we have here, a patriot or a person who is totally against why we started this country. Your smearing name-calling and the use of ad hominem reflect your command for practical reasoning.

    • jimontp

      Apparently pcorm00 is yet another Russian paid troll. Why doesn’t Queerty have some way to screen them out. Smearing, name calling for a “model” imported from Slovenia, without a green card to work got a “job” with the Trump Model Agency is a mild rebuke for the MOST bizarre First Lady ever. She continues to live in NY at our expense- who would blame her for refusing to bed the beastly president. Egg roll hell. The real story is the Russian interference in the 2016 election. The whole Ptotemkin Village story about the Syria bombing (no Syrian airplanes hit, no runway destruction) so that Syrian planes flew off to barrel bomb the VERY NEXT DAY, is all an elaborate Kabuki dance to convince us that Trump is still Putin’s puppet. How serious is the Syrian attack, when all Trump tweets about the GREAT chocolate cake he slobbered down while the raid was in progress?

    • IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou

      We didn’t start this country for Easter egg hunts or so the leaders of this country could employ piss whores under the guise of marriage.

    • dwes09

      “We” didn’t start this country. It was started by landed gentry who rightly objected to rule by a distant oligarchy, as well as excessive taxation with then money taken simply leaving. Their understanding of the world and society, though visionary was totally different from ours. Though with the Trumps we once again see oligarchy as well as tax monies sent to a distant and uncaring military as well as economic benefit being hoarded increasingly by a new class of “nobles”.

    • Pixie721

      No need to insult sex-workers. They WORK for a living. Melania? Not so much.

  • Eddie Jr

    Oh, not to worry I’m sure the official count of attendees will be well over a million.

    • woodroad34

      No, you have to go more bigly on that and add that Hillary somehow sabotaged the Easter Egg Hunt to embarrass Frump.

  • natekerchel

    This story contains two of my favorite targets – the self-styled Mrs.Rochester of Jane Eyre fame who is allegedly the ‘First Lady’, and the British Daily Mail. That newspaper is the most extreme right wing newspaper in the UK. If you look into its history you will find that it praised Hitler as a good man in the 1930’s. So I am glad to read that they had to pay this money. It also meant that what they originally printed about the lady was repeated again and again.
    It comes as no surprise that she has once again failed in her duties. After all, no trump is going to make a profit on this event, and that will always be their motivating factor – personal or political gain. Who would want to enter that house of horrors anyway. Creeps – the whole lot of them.

    • wade.l

      Time (an American publication) gave Hitler man of the year in 1938 because of his “impact” on the world.

    • dwes09

      Which, as Time has stated so many times is not an endorsement of a person, but an acknowledgement of a person’s influence on world affairs. Time was not calling Hitler a “good man”, nor praising him in any way. What part of that is not obvious to you?

  • mhoffman953

    Out of sheer boredom, I clicked the Wells Wood Turning Twitter link in the article and it turns out that he is making tons and tons and tons of eggs for the White House Easter Egg Roll event. The earliest tweet about Wells Wood Turning making the eggs was from March 21st

    If that’s the case, then why did the article say this, “As a result, the eggs could not be manufactured in time”? But the manufacturer’s Twitter page shows tons of eggs being manufactured

    I guess the above editorial is fake news.

    • DCguy

      They were put in on a rush order and they had to order less than half the normal number.

      Weird that you left that part out. hmmmmm

    • mhoffman953

      @DCguy Hang on a minute. First the article says, “As a result, the eggs could not be manufactured in time” BUT according to the manufacturer’s Twitter, he began making them in late February and the Trump administration put in the order for the colors in March. Regardless of how many are ordered or when they were ordered, this article says there is NO ORDER and they won’t be made.

      Why is the article stating there won’t be any Easter eggs but as you clearly pointed out, there will be?

    • 1EqualityUSA

      A Pulitzer for investigative journalism is in your future. Ovagate, 2017. “Scrambled facts and hard-boiled news, over-easy and less greazy. Thank you, thank you.”

    • John

      And you know the Wells Wood Working Company was most likely already making them even before an order was made- they want their yearly gov’t subsidy.

  • marie

    Why is it that Repubs always excoriate HRC for Bill’s past yet none of them are bothered that Chump’s THIRD wife is a Slovenian call girl?!?! Just curious…

    • Captain proton

      Careful with that kind of talk. Or haven’t you heard she’s suing some poor blogger out of existence?

  • Sluggo2007

    What an embarrassment to the country she is. Totally ignorant beeyatch!

    • natekerchel

      An anti-semite calling anyone ignorant – great.

    • IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou

      Believing in the cult that brought on most of the world’s problems is what is ignorant. After all, on top of all the jews crimes against humanity they also gave us islam and christianity.

    • dwes09

      @IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou:
      Please name the supposed “Jews crimes against humanity”, keeping to actual crimes in the historical era, and those committed in the name of Judaism as opposed to zionism or from the actions of individuals of Jewish parentage. Keep in mind (if you have a mind) that the fact that the Israelis have killed more people in the occupied territories than the occupied have killed Israelis does not make them guilty for their attempts at self defense, nor does responsibility for the continued use of the Palestinians as pawns (for whom they really care little) by the rest of the Arabic speaking nations fall on the shoulders of Israel.

      As for Judaism somehow spawning Christianity of Judaism, that is absolute bull and demonstrates you have no understanding of any of them. Christianity and Islam have usurped Jewish scripture but (especially Christianity) have no understanding of them. Islam came from an attempt to unify the many Arab tribes both religiously and militarily, monotheism was conveniently rooted in Torah, as was a mythical common origin for both the ancient Hebrews and Arabs through Abraham. Christianity is a polytheistic, idol worshiping death cult with origins more rooted in Roman belief than in Torah and the Prophets, and little to do with what Jesus was actually promoting.
      You are both willfully ignorant and a fool.

  • Prax07

    Really wish a sinkhole to hell would open up and swallow Trump, his sleezy kids, and that mail order tramp. Or a mysterious plane crash when he’s headed to one of golfing trips. Or a lucky meteor strike that miraculously wipes them all out on the golf course. It’s fun to dream.

  • Dwik27

    Anti Easter? Just more proof that Trump is a Muslim!!

    • 1EqualityUSA

      Munharif Trump!

    • Goforit

      Isis just rejected Trump”s application to be a suicide bomber. They thought he was to unstable.

    • 1EqualityUSA

      Fake news, Dwik27. It’s because they couldn’t find one of those vests in Big & Tall.

  • Mo Bro

    Odd that this site suddenly feels compelled to defend a Christian holiday . . . oh wait, they’re not, it’s simply another opportunity to attack the president’s wife in a typically petty manner.

    • IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou

      Odd you feel compelled to defend incompetence and laziness just Trumps tramp refuses do her job while costing the taxpayers tens of millions.

    • 1EqualityUSA

      Navigating plush lawn on stilettos is work.

    • DCguy

      Oh Look, the Trump Troll trying to have the GOP play victim.

      Hey, wasn’t it Trump that said the government was inefficient and couldn’t run well?

      Well here is one of the first examples of an event and they blew it. This is an easy event, they have the thing down to a science and they still couldn’t do it.

      But wait, why don’t you go on and try to claim Melania, who is costing taxpayers millions to pay her not to sleep in the same room with her husband, is a victim.

    • greybat

      Now, folks… try to be kind.
      In the First Lady’s Country, children are only rationed one egg a year!

    • John

      IDoNotHaveToAgreeWithYou: The First Lady is not a job, it is a title and the First Lady can do as much or as little as she wants. There is no job description or pay. Most do choose a platform and work at it…Lady Bird’s was a Rose Garden, Nancy Regans was drugs, Michelle Obama’s was preach about eating healthy, Laura Bush reading…I couldn’t tell you what Rosalyn Carter’s was, or Hillary Clinton’s (with Clinton I am sure it had something to do with elbowing her way into the adminstration as much as possible), Pat Nixon or even Barbara Bush for that matter.

  • crowebobby

    Revive the old joke: “No Easter this year; they found the body.” Kids will believe anything.

  • woodroad34

    For a trophy wife, she’s not promoting Trump very much; is she? Every public appearance by her is full of grimacing, flinching, being knocked aside so Frump can get a photo op without her. I’m not sure if she’s to be pitied or what. But at some point, she’s going to have to get over herself and stop being a princess.

  • gary69mike

    Not defending but… wouldn’t you think that after 138 years it would be a no brainer? Isn’t that a White House/Parks Department thing? What pisses me off is that HGTV didn’t do the White House Christmas this past year. What gives?!?!? If they don’t do it this year, I’m really going to be pissed.! I expect it to be the grandest Christmas at the White House EVER!

  • Mandrake

    After reading all the ramifications of what goes into this Easter Egg Roll, I don’t blame her. Despite it having gone on every Easter for 138 years, it sounds like a pain in the ass to organize for a public relations event occurring once a year. Time for a change! Good for you, Melania!

  • He BGB

    Her job has always been to stand around looking pretty. She has no interest or experience in matronly affairs like Easter Egg Hunts. That’s for ugly people. Daddy, I mean, my husband has always handled everything so I can just sit around eating bonbons, and living in my golden palaces.

  • Leo

    Hi everyone..well morons and wackos will blame the first lady., and of course the egg layer, seems there was quite a bill there., and I suppose if this american and foreign public would get off the issue of trying to kill the president and his wife and also do some nut thing to the little boy we could get some stuff under control. I would like to state I believe the morons that think the president if racist of brown people is really nasty. What about the Muslim thing nada Christmas last year..Quit trying to kill the guy and quit griping and give the vets and homeless a home and help and unload those sanctuary cities and build up Chicago and Detroit…

    • dwes09

      The republican party has always opposed intelligent and adequate aid for veterans and homeless people. There is no reason at all (given his lack of critical thought, and choice of upper crust advisers) to think Trump will be any different. He is already displaying poor judgement regarding health care, foreign policy, diplomacy, energy policy, public education…..

      As for sanctuary cities, I’m willing to bet you have no actual knowledge of them but simply allow yourself to be frightened by a few anecdotes (the republican way after all). Sanctuary cities are likely to be safer and have better economic growth than others, and in sanctuary cities there is less crime among immigrant communities because they have better relations with law enforcement. Sorry to say, but reality seldom agrees with right wing myth.

  • elliott_hankin

    With innocent people being killed in Syria and in Chechnya(gays) who the hell cares about Easter eggs at the whitehouse? Get real. Is that the mentallity of stupid minds when there are so many other things to be concerned about? Give me a fn brake

  • garyrj

    Going by the track record of the Trumps, they’ll be charging admission the the Easter hunt…

    • 1EqualityUSA

      Or the beastly son of Trump who likes to hunt big game, what an opportunity to bag the bunny for his morbid collection.

    • GayEGO

      Well they have to make money to pay for the wall!

    • GayEGO

      Well they have to make money to pay for the border wall!

  • batesmotel

    Since when does a gossip gay care about Easter?

  • stadacona

    This is the only time you’ll find the left caring about any Christian tradition – when it’s an opportunity to attack Trump. Hypocrites.

    • Mo Bro

      Bingo.
      Do they care about Muslims bombing Christian churches?
      Do they care about Christians being executed in Muslim countries?
      No, all they care about is bashing the President of the United States (as long as it’s a white guy—anything else is obviously off limits).

  • GayEGO

    Melania only likes Orange scrambled eggs, like her husband Donnie! :>)

  • 813Liz

    Maybe it’s for the best. Trump wouldn’t have paid for them anyway.

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