Two men sitting and having a tense conversation

We’ve read the reasons why gay guys have ended long-term relationshipsand the attributes gays say are their pettiest dealbreakers. Now get ready for the combo meal. 

In one r/askgaybros Reddit discussion, users responded to a call for “the dumbest reason you’ve been dumped/dumped someone for.” And the responses might just have us more concerned about the dating scene than ever.

From a blizzard of unrealistic expectations to anti-Android antagonism to astrological biases, here are the silly reasons relationships have ended (with responses tidied up for brevity, grammar, and readability).

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“We had a horrible blizzard that dumped 36 inches of snow. … He calls me halfway through the blizzard and wants me to come to his condo 15 miles away. I was driving a little Hyundai Tiburon at the time. I told him I was snowed in and couldn’t even get out of the driveway, let alone down the street. He dumped me because he wanted a knight in shining armor, lol, to rush to his side. I thought he was joking and laughed. He got pissed. I told him if he wanted to see me so bad, why didn’t he come to my house? He had a 4WD Jeep. He refused and dumped me.”

“This guy dumped me three months into the relationship because I was so much taller than him and he couldn’t betray his short kings.”

“I have an Android, and we stopped dating after the third date because he had an iPhone. ‘Group texts will be broken when I include you.’ ‘I don’t like the green bubbles.’”

“I dated a guy who told me my Spanish sounded too American and not fluent after a few dates and then ghosted me.”

“I was casually dating a guy and ended it because I couldn’t get past the fact that he had the same name as my dad.”

“I was a rebound without knowing it. Got the whole ‘I’m not ready for another relationship’ after they pursued me hard.”

“‘I don’t see us together’ with no elaboration why, done pretty out of the blue. The previous time we hung out, we were both smiling and giddy as we said goodbye to each other. It wouldn’t have been such a dumb reason if he gave additional context or if things were trending badly.”

“A few times I’ve been turned down because of my height. I’m 6-foot-8—shallow-minded people, to be honest.”

“Because I’m a Sagittarius. No kidding. The only other place I’ve ever seen this kind of sh*t was Kamen Rider Gaim… Our protagonist wasn’t hired because he was an Aquarius, lol.”

“Because my table manners were not posh enough. … I did not wipe my mouth before sipping from a glass, and I would gesticulate as I spoke while still holding cutlery in my hands (waving the cutlery around, so they said).”

“Being ‘dramatic’ when my feet got tangled in a blanket and I fell. I actually was laughing about it, and he said, ‘That’s it. I’m done.’”

“I saw my ex’s Instagram story a few days after he dumped me, and it said something about how he couldn’t believe he was crying over the guy who always wore the same shirt.”

“I have never dumped anyone for a dumb reason, to my knowledge, though this one guy had a mad obsession with Celine Dion that pushed the line with me. … I have definitely been dumped for dumb reasons: One guy said I was never available, but we had been dating for less than a month and seen each other three days a week during that time. One guy dumped me because I wouldn’t smoke pot with him (I was military at the time). One guy dumped me because he was a size queen and I wasn’t big enough for him (though he often struggled to take me and I often had to go very slow, but OK). I’ve been dumped several times because I was bi and they either couldn’t be with a guy who had f*cked a vagina before or couldn’t trust me to not leave and impregnate a woman.”

“He broke up with me after a two-year, happy relationship because I don’t believe in the supernatural.”

“He believed in UFOs, which was fine, but they dominated more of our early relationship than I would’ve liked.”

“A guy ended things with me because his girlfriend broke up with him—I didn’t know about her—and now that he didn’t have a girlfriend, what we were doing was ‘starting to feel gay.’”

“After six months together, I had booked a flight to Vienna—because he always wanted to go there—and an apartment to [stay at] together. Got dumped because it wasn’t a hotel with breakfast included.”

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