This just in, folx: Former second lady Karen (a.k.a. “Mother”) Pence has a new book coming out later this year.
When It’s Your Turn to Serve: Experiencing God’s Grace in His Calling for Your Life will be released in September. It’s an ironic title for a book penned by a woman who did virtually nothing during her four years “serving” as second lady.
Seriously, can anyone remember anything Karen did other than work at that anti-LGBTQ+ private Christian school part-time and defend her husband’s decision not to wear a mask inside a hospital during the height of the pandemic by quoting from the Bible on Fox News?
Related*
Mike Pence says it’s “deeply offensive” to object to wife’s job at school that bans LGBTQ kids
“This criticism of Christian education in America should stop.”
According to its description, When It’s Your Turn to Serve is a “warm and deeply personal book” that “encourages readers to accept God’s challenges” by detailing Karen’s “heartwarming and relatable stories of being a leader, teacher, mom and Christian throughout an unpredictable life.”
She announced it on Twitter last week, writing, “I hope it is an encouragement to anyone who finds themselves unexpectedly called to serve, wherever that may be.”
Unfortunately, the response likely hasn’t been what she or her publisher was hoping for. It seems nobody–Republicans or Democrats–is excited to read about the role God has played in Karen’s truly uninspiring life story:
You will never get the Trump stink off of you!
— Carla Lasagne (@18thNE) May 3, 2023
Wouldn’t buy anything you wrote..That husband is a coward that sold our 74 million votes to the democrats..Grifters
— Patton G (@Patton_Fear_Not) May 3, 2023
You don’t serve anything except your own interests
— Zack Schenkemeyer (@ZSchenkemeyer) May 3, 2023
The last person you and your husband served tried to get him killed.
— Melissa Anne Marlowe OLY (@MissyAMarlowe) May 5, 2023
The ex-vice president also plugged the book on his Twitter page last week, saying he was “so proud” of his mother wife and urging his followers to pre-order a copy.
His tweet got an equally unenthusiastic response:
Sounds perfectly awful.
— Chris (@ChrisE97th) May 5, 2023
When it was your turn to serve, your boss’s supporters wanted to hang you.
— M (@GuyFromNowhere9) May 6, 2023
In the course of history, this book will never be mentioned, let alone on the shelf of a public library.
— cynthia williams (@cynthia04536622) May 7, 2023
That’s “Mother” to you, you pervert.
— @finelyhadit (@finelyhadit) May 6, 2023
When It’s Your Turn to Serve is the first book Karen has written, although she has illustrated three children’s books in the past–those Christian-coded Marlon Bundo bunny books that inspired a gay spinoff series chronicling the same-sex adventures of Marlon and his boyfriend Wesley.
Karen’s other publishing credits include a 1991 letter to the editor of the Indianapolis Star in which she complained about an article in the paper had published that she felt encouraged “children to think they’re gay or lesbian if they have a close relationship with a child of the same sex.”
“I only pray that most parents were able to intercept your article before their children were encouraged to call the Gay/Lesbian Youth Hotline, which encourages them to ‘accept their homosexuality’ instead of reassuring them that they are not,” she wrote.
When It’s Your Turn to Serve: Experiencing God’s Grace in His Calling for Your Life will his bookstore shelves September 26, which means you should be able to find it on the Barnes & Noble bargain cart sometime around Thanksgiving.
Related*
Mike Pence’s gay pet rabbit embroiled in delicious literary controversy
Out-gay rabbit Marlon Bundo landed a spot on the American Library Association’s list of most challenged books of 2018.
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abfab
God, I hope she brings back her line of beach towel identifiers…you know, those cute little charms with safety pins so all of Mike’s ”pals” don’t cross contaminate fabrics at the Pencey Pool Parties!
abfab
Karen
James
You are actually a very good writer. I suspect you may be a professional writer, possibly newspaper. Your post is hilarious. Thanks.
Fname Optional Lname
LOL!!!!
Fname Optional Lname
I actually thought you were just poking fun to point out how anal both of them must be. I guess I’m not surprised but can you imagine what a nightmare it must be to grow up in that household? If her biggest problem is someone using her towel by mistake at a beach party she has no business writing anything that she feels will benefit the reader! Oh she is exactly the kind of mother who checks the trash can to ensure her teenage daughters are menstruating on the regular. Those kids are tormented no doubt!
abfab
FORMER Second Lady Karen Pence managed to keep a relatively low profile throughout the four years of her national political relevance. But when details about her did emerge, they seemed to describe a supporting character in a Baptist adaptation of The Stepford Wives. There were her husband’s twin pet names for her, “Mother” and “prayer warrior.” There was the fact that she is a painter by trade, whose work looks like this (crap) There was the anecdote that, mere months into dating Pence, she became so convinced he would propose that she engraved a gold cross with the word “Yes” and carried it around in her purse until he did. Mike followed through at the eight-month mark, burying the ring in a loaf of bread. To commemorate the occasion, Karen got the loaf shellacked.
abfab
BUT the best detail about Mother Pence is that she once ran a “towel charm” business called “That’s My Towel!” Charm Inc. This company was incorporated in the state of Indiana; it had both a website, towelcharm.com, and a now–defunct Etsy store. Pence had the name trademarked and copyrighted and applied for a utility patent on the concept. For just $6.25 a charm, anyone could own silver dangling ornaments shaped like French fries, starfish, cameras, dogs, trains, or pizza for their towels. Why would someone want a towel charm exactly? Here’s how Karen put it on her website’s About page:
Most of us have matching bath and beach towels, so it is easy to get them confused. I have had so many times where I was swimming at a friend’s beach house, pool, or lake house, using their matching beautiful beach towels. Lo and behold, I would go in the water for a dip or up to the house for a beverage, and when I came back to my towel, it was gone! Someone else had grabbed my towel unknowingly…because all of the towels looked the same.
abfab
WHEN the bathroom holds not merely one’s own towel, but their husband’s towel, and the towels of all their evangelical, unaborted children, the average towel-owner might ask: “Which towel is my towel?” That’s where the charm comes in. One towel-based trinket can put the debate to rest. (“And from now on you will be able to state with confidence …” Pence explained, “‘That’s My Towel!’”) Unfortunately for the fans, the business has quietly disappeared. What happened to Mother’s empire?
GAWKER
bigdandd
Mike Pence has to be the most ULTIMATE boring, dead-pan individual that ever graced a TV screen.
Fname Optional Lname
Yes. A bag of hair has more personality.
DBMC
I would think considering Shaver’s antipathy toward Michelle Obama and Jill Biden he must really be enraged by Karen Pence.
mildredspierce
Every time I vaguely read about someone spouting religious dogmatic pap like this twat, I harken back to what little Linda Blair does with the crucifix in The Exorcist. Very appropriate here.
abfab
Ellen Burstyn was the STAR of that film….a huge favorite of mine, both. But Linda Blair, dam was she amazing or what? We have the CHURCH to thank for all of it…..it does make for good drama and bullshit all at once!
You mother ______ ______ in hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
correctio
if I’m not mistaken, it was actually Mercedes McCambridge who said that infamous line. It was she who did the voice acting for the demon in the Exorcist, not Linda Blair
MSM
The title alone makes we want to puke. They are some damned Christians, full of hate, Not what Jesus taught, is it?
abfab
Jesus taught?
abfab
God is a HIS?
James
NOTHING BUT A NARCISSISTIC BITCH.
barryaksarben
Call to serve. – She forgets that they are called to love but that one is just to hard for this judgy bitch
barryaksarben
He was histories biggest coward and it was. fun to watch him being trumps biggest submissive eating his shit on a daily basis. Just the kind of leader the QOP deserves.
abfab
WORD.
Fname Optional Lname
“I only pray that most parents were able to intercept your article before their children were encouraged to call the Gay/Lesbian Youth Hotline, which encourages them to ‘accept their homosexuality’ instead of reassuring them that they are not,” she wrote.
So in her limited capacity she believes absolutely nobody is homosexual?
We have been wrong this entire time! Oh lucky day! Let me grab a brewski and start watching NASCAR!
Fname Optional Lname
, “I hope it is an encouragement to anyone who finds themselves unexpectedly called to serve, wherever that may be.”
Unless you are called to dress in drag and read to children at the local library
johncp56
Mother go breastfeed your husband, go away how do hateful people act so sweet and innocent
correctio
wow abfab commented seven times on this piece. you really know everything there is to know about Karen pence. it’s almost like these Republicans have been a source of joy in your life. now what does that say about you?
dbmcvey
I love how you keep trying to get abfab’s attention. It’s like a schoolboy dunking a girl’s pigtail in the inkwell!
correctio
stop it you’re making me get horny
FreddieW
Wow, she didn’t do anything during her time as wife of the VP except work at a Christian school and you talk about her like she’s Anita Bryant.
And you know what I remember about Mike Pence? I remember how he tried to meet with Adam Rippon to tell him his country was proud of him, and he was rudely rebuffed. I remember him graciously hosting the gay PM of Ireland, who had nothing bad to say afterward. I remember him doing his job while Trump and his white supremacist thugs were hunting him down on January 6. No, he’s not a pro-gay liberal, but he’s a decent man who doesn’t deserve the level of vitriol he gets from the LGBT community.
Kangol2
He’s not a “decent man.” His record in Indiana on LGBTQ issues, particularly AIDS, was disastrous.
This is the hateful garbage that FreddieW is covering for! Why as a gay man are you covering for right-wing, anti-gay Republicans like Mike Pence & Mother Pence? WTF is wrong with you?
2000: During his congressional campaign, Mike Pence said, “Congress should oppose any effort to put gay and lesbian relationships on an equal legal status with heterosexual marriage.”
2000: Pence also supported the reauthorization of the Ryan White Care Act only if federal dollars were excluded from organizations who “celebrate” and “encourage” behavior that facilitates spreading of the HIV virus. Further, Pence supported this reauthorization only if “those institutions provided assistance to those looking to change their sexual behavior”, an off-the-cuff endorsement for ex-gay conversion therapy.
2004: Mike Pence co-sponsored a proposed amendment to the U.S. Constitution that would define marriage as solely between one man and one woman.
2007: Pence voted against the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA).
2010: Mike Pence voted against the “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” repeal which allowed LGBT Americans to openly serve their country in military service.
2012: Pence refused to say on the record if he supported a same-sex couple raising a child together.
2014: Gov. Pence supported HJR-3, a bill to add an amendment banning same-sex marriage to Indiana’s Constitution.
2015: Governor Pence signed the Religious Freedom Restoration Act in a closed-door ceremony surrounded by special interest lobbyists.
2015: Governor Pence said on ABC’s “This Week” that it was “absolutely not” a mistake to sign RFRA, throwing Indiana into a $250 million economic panic and putting Indiana’s “Hoosier Hospitality” reputation in jeopardy.
2015: Even after his approval rating plummets from RFRA, Mike Pence on July 22 told the media he is “studying” the issue of LGBT rights and whether or not he’d support across the board protections for the LGBT community.
(From INDems, a Timeline of Mike Pence’s Discrimination Against the LGBTQ Community)
FreddieW
To put it simply, you don’t believe he’s a decent man because his religion is opposed to homosexuality. I was raised Christian. I know lots of decent Christian people who believe I’m going to hell but treat me with respect anyway. That’s all it takes.
And there’s nothing wrong with me. I didn’t start hating all Christians when I came out and discarded my faith.
FreddieW
Personally, as an ex-Christian gay, I think so-called gay Christians do more damage than straight evangelicals. The best thing is for everyone to see Christianity for what it is and to get an accurate understanding of what the Bible teaches about homosexuality. Because however hard the religious liberals try to reframe it, the source material of Christianity will always say what it says.
Winsocki
I do not do a ‘hard sell’ of Christianity. I do not evangelize. Christianity is not one sided. How would you compare a Southern Baptist to an Unitarian? I do not reframe but try to listen the social justice and embrace the fact how flawed I am as a person. My “Christian” church has gay/trans flags on the website. The Front door announces open door to any color/gender/social status etc. All are invited to the Communion table. No one can speak for all of Christianity. Go congregation by parish…. they vary so largely within their own denomination. I respect moral and ethical atheists than Pence types. Tell me what exactly ‘source material’? Even translations of the Bible vary from true intent written in Greek or Hebrew etc. Free your mind……and your Ass will follow. ( the Gospel according to George Clinton)
FreddieW
Does anyone besides a Unitarian consider Unitarians to be Christian? It’s more like a self-improvement society. There are historical creeds that set the bounds of orthodox Christian religion. It’s not up to me or you to redefine it.
And appealing to translational differences isn’t enough to mask the fact that the Bible condemns homosexuals in both the Old and New Testaments. You believe it doesn’t because you want to believe that.