Aaron Bean, Byron Donalds, Doug Burgum, Vivek Ramamswamy

It was just a couple of weeks ago that Trump was grumbling about his lack of support during his criminal hush-money trial. Though Eric Trump remains the only member of the Trump family forced to spend his days in a dingy Manhattan courtroom, GOP politicians and admirers are now showing up in droves.

On Monday, Ohio Senator J.D. Vance, believed to be a top VP contender, showed up for the disgraced ex-president. Today, two other VP possibilities, North Dakota governor Doug Burgum and Florida Rep. Byron Donalds, joined the circus as well.

Burgum and Donalds were flanked by two other Trump surrogates, failed GOP presidential hopeful Vivek Ramamswamy and lesser-known Florida Rep. Aaron Bean. They all arrived to court cosplaying as their idol, complete with big dark suit jackets and long red ties.

Together, they looked like the most miserable groomsmen ever assembled!

While they’re all terribly dressed, Ramamswamy’s disheveled collar might be the most discerning detail. The annoying entrepreneur is worth nearly $1 billion! Surely, he can afford collar stays, right?

Then again, Ramamswamy doesn’t appear to hold himself in high regard. He’s always pandering to the hard-right GOP base, which will probably never accept him. Just last week, Ann Coulter told the 9/11 conspiracy theorist she couldn’t vote for him, because he’s Indian.

In response, Ramamswamy gave the bigoted commenter “kudos for saying that, for spilling her racist tea.”

Burgum, Ramaswamy and Donalds are all traveling the Trump sycophantic circuit, fresh off a top donor retreat at Mar-a-Lago. Trump gave his thoughts on every VP contender at the event, remarking on Burgum’s wealth and Donalds’… skin color.

Yep, that’s right. America’s most infamous criminal defendant said the sophomore congressman has “created something very special politically” before saying he likes “diversity…Diversité as you would say. I like diversité.”

He also likes hush-money. On Tuesday, Michael Cohen wrapped up his testimony, explaining how he helped create fake documents to cover up his reimbursement for buying Stormy Daniels’ story. Cohen wired $130,000 to the former adult film star, who had an affair with Trump in 2006, and threatened to go public before the 2016 election.

The quadruple-indicted ex-president is facing 34 felony counts for falsifying business docs. Though he’s facing three other criminal cases, this will likely be the only trial before Election Day.

House Speaker Mike Johnson, a devout Christian in a convenient marriage, also showed up Tuesday to minimize the charges. A deeply religious man, the Louisiana Republican expressed ambivalence about his party’s presidential nominee, whom a civil court also found liable for sexual assault, engaging in an extramarital affair with an adult film actress.

Of course, evangelicals excusing Trump’s tawdry behavior is nothing new, just like GOP pols groveling for his approval. Here’s hoping these guys at least multiple red ties for their sucking up sojourn.

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