A 22-year-old Botswana man is seriously considering “re-orienting” his sexual orientation after his girlfriend cheated on him not once, not twice, but multiple times.
In a letter to advice columnist Gasegale Sengwaketse (try saying that three times fast!) at The Voice BW, the troubled young man writes: “I’m a 22-year-old guy who is heartbroken because my girlfriend cheats on me. I forgave her more than once but she keeps on repeating although she had said it was a mistake the first time it happened.”
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“I feel very sad because of what she’s doing to me and I’m beginning to lose trust in women,” the man continues. “I’m scared that even if I find another woman she would also cheat on me.”
“Should I become gay or what?” he wonders.
Sengwaketse wastes no time getting to the heart of the matter.
“Should you ‘become gay’?” he writes. “What a question!”
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“Being gay is not something that you can just wake up one day and choose to ‘become’; and besides, even gay people have cheaters among them.”
“What if you ‘become’ gay and your partner cheats on you, what would you do?” Sengwaketse asks. “Would you then lose trust in men and go back to dating women?”
The bottom line,Sengwaketse says, is this: “You can’t just switch on and off between being heterosexual and homosexual.”
He concludes by telling the young man he should “seek counseling” for his “constant heartbreak.”
We say forget counseling, dump your girlfriend then give us a [email protected]!
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yeah cuz guys dont lie. LOL
Yea cause it’s a choice we can make at anytime……maybe I’ll be straight now ð???
But in this new age of non binding labels wouldn’t that make him “fluid”?
Nice racial micro-aggression in the beginning of the article Queerty. Stay classy.
OR… dump your girlfriend and find another one? Or stay single and just live it up?
WTF! That is so discounting and messed up. Gay guys are all untrusting ass hats?
Lesbians cheat, Pansexuals cheat, gays cheat. Not just straight people cheat.
Dude at that age, date and fuck. Be safe… most 22 year olds are not ready to settle down. So go out. Enjoy. Oh, becoming gay won’t change a thing. Not that you can become what you’re not anyhow… I still chuckle when I hear even out gay people claimed they “turned” gay. A former fuck buddy said he told his mom that. Lol.
““I feel very sad because of what she’s doing to me and I’m beginning to lose trust in women,” the man continues. “I’m scared that even if I find another woman she would also cheat on me.”
I do hope he takes a nice looooonngg look at his “virtues” before he suffocates US with them and we decide to “cheat” on him. As they say, if it ain’t the beauty, then it must be the bootie”.
Gerald GeeLocke Panuthos
Maybe she cheated coz u r gay & not doing it for her.
Your comment about the naming conventions in African culture are lame and uncalled for. I question whether you would treat the give names of Israelis, Arabs, Indonesians, Indians, Irish, Czechs, and so on in the dam condescending fashion. The essence if this article is that good advice was given, why make fun of the name of the querent? There is often an inappropriate lack of seriousness in a lot of your articles.
And gay men don’t cheat , stop putting stupid crap as news , so fucking annoying
So in other words, closeted guy in gay hostile country wants excuse to explain why he sleeps with guys.
What utter nonsense.
Of course a straight-identifying man can switch between homosexual and heterosexual behavior. I’m not saying that the switch is right in the middle but it is entirely possible for the switch to occur. Men are highly sexual creatures, don’t forget. Even the most ardent straight-identifying guy sometimes thinks about getting it on with a guy.
As for the columnist’s advice, it sounds as if she is trying to discourage him from turning to men. My advice is that straight-identifying men should always let his wife or girlfriend know that he is capable of turning to men for sexual comfort if she doesn’t behave herself. It’s called turning-the-tables on her.
If all such men let a woman know this, it dilutes her power. It takes away her ability to control men in the unfair way that women often like doing.
Women are notoriously controlling of men sexually. They will use every trick in the book to keep a man even if it is unfair. Turning the tables on her is not cruel.
And, please, let’s cut the crap that this guy is actually gay. Presumably he’s had sexual relationships with women. Yes, that means he is aroused by women. Deal with it and stop trying to recruit him to the gay identity.
Marshall R. Krug
contact me. we’ll talk.
That’s how it works.
If your straight.. this would never be a consideration!! Folks got to get over believing if one is gay.. they choose that.. The only choice in the matter is when in your life do you come out? Which in my day you just didn’t, until you realize.. you must live your life and be who you are 🙂
By the 3rd time she cheated it really wasn’t her fault. You already know who she was and she already knew that you would continue to forgive her.
It’s true, people from all walks of life cheat on their partners. Maybe we should stop giving cheaters a social pass.
there is no becoming gay
Lousy Advice: Everyone knows that gay people never cheat on their partners and 100% straight guys (Kinsey 0) wouldn’t consider doing men because they can’t trust women they would give celibacy a try. Since he thinks he could just “be gay” he is down a few notches on the Kinsey scale and may be able to bounce back and forth between sexes and be happy.
@Dave Basora: “But in this new age of non binding labels wouldn’t that make him “fluid”?
No, just stupid, or giving him the benefit of doubt, so naive!
Oh what a good idea!……..because we all know that fidelity is what us gays are best at!
Oh, yah, we’ll take him!
Yep, make fun of his name, Queerty. Really classy, good times, good times. /snark
Becoming gay?? Sorry it’s not a club you join. It’s how you’re born, no matter what some say.
I’ve had married men in the sack saying they chose not to be gay for many reasons…they weren’t gay…just their butt and mouth
Haha someone inform him gay men cheat more
Kevin J Desmond
Bitch Please … you’re a homo just admit it, you’ll feel better afterwards.
How does a truly straight guy “decide” to become gay?
Good luck with that slick, because it ain’t much better on this side of the fence. Bitter bitch rant endith!
Dennis Patrick Ellis
dumb BREEDER *
Dumbest excuse for tumbling out of the closet in Goodwill Dior I’ve ever heard! “Come out, come out wherever you are…………!”
You can’t just decide to be gay, either you are born that way or not, It is not like choosing between apple or cherry pie. Have you been talking to Michelle Bachman and she convinced you one can be changed through reparative therapy?
Not straight. If you want a dick near or in any of your orrifices, you are either gay or bi-sexual.
If he seriously considers being with a man to be an option for him,then perhaps he has bisexual tendencies.A lot of “straight” guys do.
@William Murrell: Not necessarily. If a man simply wants a penis in his orifice, it’s probably only a fetish. That man won’t chase after men because they are men but because they have a penis.
DUH!!!!! That’s like saying “I’m stupid, but I’m gonna turn smart!”
Good luck with that.
Adam Wayne Hrincevich
Another stupid article….
Lol, if he thinks dating men is going to mean he won’t be cheated on, he’s going to have a rude awakening! 😉
You won’t be disappointed
Sure try it out, just wake up in the morning and say “Penis, we like other penises now, so get with the program” after you’re officially a gay, all appropriate nametags and pins will be mailed from the closest Pride warehouse. If you decide to rejoin the breeding masses you will be responsible for return shipping. Act now and you get a rainbow flag and matching speedo absolutely free!
It don’t work that way.
If he considers being gay? Than u r more gay than u thought. Cause straight people do not turn gay just be cause someone cheats on u.
Sorry, perhaps stereo typing, but becoming gay will bring a new definition to cheating
First off, you don’t “consider” becoming gay, and secondly, men cheat just as much, if not more….
Corey J Hodges
Mmmm…you can absolutely switch, but it shouldn’t be based on a single external experience. It should be an inherent feeling to do one, the other, both, neither, etc. I don’t think he’s asking if he is able to change – it seems like he’s looking for an affirmation that having intimate and trusting relationships is acceptable.
It seems to me that he’s saying that being gay is a choice, which any intelligent person would tell you that’s it’s NOT !
Humans think they know everything when they know absolutly nothing,all this ignorance we call knowledge is beyond pathetic,Nature is laughing at us like fools,in the biological level every organism is in fact bisexual,meaning every creature possess both heterosexual and homosexual genes,in most cases only on of them is activated sometimes both,within a single being there is so many genes but only a few are activated.
The only way for this man to actually switch sexual genes is to deactivate his str8 gene and activate his homosexual gene anything else would be inaccurate,it’s rare that sexual genes automatically switch.
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