TRUE CONFESSIONS

Straight Men Are A Lot More Bisexual Than You Might Think

sexy kissPornhub recently released data on the top porn searches broken down by gender. The survey found “gay male porn” as the second highest searched topic by straight women. This begs the question: What about straight dudes? How many of them are also looking at man-on-man porn? And what might be their motivations for doing so?

Being the curious gays that we are, we decided to dig a little deeper, scouring the internet for clues. And what we discovered is, well, surprising. Apparently it’s not just the ladies who prefer two dicks in their porn. Self-professed straight men enjoy it, too.

We recently reported on the growing number of heterosexual men who have begun openly embracing booty eating, both as givers and receivers. Anilingus is a behavior that has, historically, been attributed to gay men. So where did these straight guys get the idea to have their own butts eaten? And where did they learn the skills and strategies involved in performing a rim job? The obvious answer: Gay porn.

In our research, we learned that straight men don’t just watch gay porn for sex tips. They also watch it to get off. Now, we weren’t born yesterday. Anyone can say they’re heterosexual, and plenty of gay guys on our favorite hookup sites pretend to “Str8” and “just looking for a quickie while the GF is outta town.” But hold your preconceived notions for just one moment. Isn’t it possible there are more gray areas in human sexuality than anyone really knows, or is at least willing to admit? And isn’t looking at porn in the privacy of one’s own home the safest place to explore one’s curiosities?

So stay with us here as we take a peek at what guys are saying online…

In a forum titled “straight…but wack off to gay porn, anyone else ;)” on the totally reliable internet discussion website Topix, heterosexual “Mikey” from Trenton, NJ confesses:

so i have a gf of almost 3 years and recently started to jack off to gay porn, i dont know wht it is about it but it kinda turns me on, i was just wondering if anybody else is in the same boat as me. would love to hear from you!!

“Whoknew” from Georgiana, AL responds:

Well mikey, i have to go with you on this one. I would never want to engage in gay sex, but watching it somehow makes me hard as a rock. I have only watched a movie once, but I read stories on the net some. Matter of fact i am hard now just thinking about it.

Very interesting.

A similar forum exists on the website Jackinworld, which claims to be the world’s “ultimate male masturbation resource.” On it, one commenter writes:

I’m straight, but i do watch gay porn and guys masturbating. I thought that was weird until i looked at the other reviews. Good to know a lot of guys do that.

Another adds:

Thank goodness i am not the only one. Im Straight but watch gay porn. I love girls, but gay just turns me on from time to time.

Then there’s this little gem:

im str8 but ive masturbated with my friends and one time one of my friends and i started oral, then it lead to anal. ive wanted to try again because it felt so good but im afraid to bring it up again. so i masturbate and think about it insted.

Hold up. Did a man who identifies as heterosexual just admit to engaging in x-rated behavior with his straight male friends? Maybe there is a god after all.

Thanks to a reader tip, we looked up heterosexual men who say they’ve either experimented with or thought about experimenting with other guys.

In another Topix forum titled “Is it normal I fantasize about sucking cock (I’m a guy)”, JJ22X from Glasgow makes a shocking disclosure:

I don’t know why. I consider myself straight, I’ve always been attracted to women, I’ve had sex with women and it’s all good … But when I’m horny I sometimes have this fantasy of while laying down on my back and having a gorgeous girl ride my dick, a man to stand over me with his big cock and I can really imagine myself saying give it to me. Being pinned down and sucking away I wouldn’t be able to say no. Even writing this I have a hard on lol.

The poetry continues:

Not just that, I wonder what it would be like to be fucked, just to have a big warm penis sliding inside of me taking advantage of me, sometimes I even picture myself jerking off slowly with a sexy girl to the left, and having a guy with a juicy cock to the right, and having to choose which one I want.

But JJ22X isn’t the only one who seems to feel this way. The thread has more than 1,200 responses from other allegedly heterosexual men claiming they, too, grapple with the desire to suck on a big warm wiener.

Collegeguy from Dublin admits:

Im not attracted to guys but get really horny thinking about giving a guy a bj…would like to try it to a friend sometime to be honest

Logan from Cardiff says:

to be honest ive giving head lots now and i know im not bi or gay i love girls but love sucking big cock

JJp from Toronto chimes in:

im straight but my biggest fantasy is trying that. i have never done this – too scared but if discreet i want to try with proper guidance

JJp, if you’re reading, here’s a little guidance for you: Just put it in your mouth.

Countless other forums in which allegedly straight men share their deepest, darkest gay fantasies exist all over the internet — like “I Am Straight But Secretly Want To Suck A Man’s Penis”, or “Straight Men That Have Experienced Giving Head — Any Regrets? I’m Thinking Of Trying It.”  (We’ve got to hand it to these guys for being so straight-forwarded (pun intended!) with their subject lines.)

Of course, we don’t doubt for a second that many, if not most, of these so-called heterosexuals are really just horny gay teenagers in the Midwest who are up way past their bedtimes hoping to get their rocks off by posing as bi-curious men in internet chat rooms. But this article by Chris Rockwell called “Head Case: A straight mans’ [sic] penchant for the male organ,” published on the blog Nerve seems pretty legit, despite the glaring grammatical error in the essay’s title.

Rockwell establishes right off that bat that he identifies as straight. Or at least “not gay.”

“Let’s establish something up front,” he begins. “I’m not gay.”

But, he admits, “the only thing that mars my practically unblemished record as a straight man is my undeniable — at times, overwhelming — desire to suck a cock.”

He then spends the next 12 paragraphs rambling about his lifelong obsession with the idea of performing fellatio on another male.

“Occasionally I’ll fantasize about watching straight porn with a guy before jerking off together and emulating the acts on the screen,” he writes. “Or lining up a varsity swim team and making like a circus seal. Put simply, I think penises are awesome.”

Rockwell concludes the essay by saying he’s not bisexual. Having sex with both men and women, he feels, would be too “exhausting.”

“I just want to try deep-throating,” he writes. “Consider me try-sexual.”

So there you have it, folks. Direct from the hetero guy’s mouth. Straight guys might be more bisexual than you think.

The trick now is getting them off the internet and into our bedrooms.

Related stories:

Straight Men Everywhere Are Finally Admitting They Enjoy Anal Stimulation

STUDY: In The Locker Room, Size Matters And Straight Guys Act SUPER Gay

College Guys Reveal The Secrets Of Gay Life On Campus

 

Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.

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216 Comments

  • cflekken

    Uh, duh.

  • DjARD

    Yeah, this was fucking depressing.

    Of course many men do not exist within sexual binaries, no matter what they tell themselves. Unless you’re truly ignorant, this should be obvious.

    But that’s what’s depressing. The complete inability to come to terms with gray area sexuality (I suppose, on a technical level, bisexuality) by these men. I can forget how oppressive our society is, and how restrictive our prescribed ideas of male sexuality are until I read shit like this.

    None of these men is straight. Both you and they are deluding themselves if you actually believe that. But all of these men are petrified of possibly losing the privileges that come with identifying as such, to the point that they’re suppressing a side of themselves and denying their own sexual expression.

    And they’re going to keep suppressing it, keeping it “discreet”, and vehemently attaching themselves to heterosexual identity, most likely making at least some part of themselves miserable in the process.

    You know, I always used to be a “labels” guy. But this? Fuck this. Fuck labels when it comes to this. Labels are useful when you know you’re not straight, and need to use it as a tool to keep your sanity. But when you identify as straight, but have so many inclinations that at indicate at least some degree of that being untrue, they become overly restrictive and… well, frankly just plain useless.

    To sum up what these guys are saying:

    “yeah i dont eat cheerios. but i dream about them, and always want to eat them. I’m obsessed with them. i had them once and they were good, i want more. but idk. i dont wanna be just a cheerios guy. but man do they sound good.”

    See how absurd this shit is? Speaking of which, I think it’s time a go drown myself in a bowl of the aforementioned cereal, because everything is awful and fuck this.

  • Billy Budd

    Bull. They are bisexual. If they fantasize about and feel attracted to dick, they are bisexual. What really matters is how your mind works, not what you actually do in bed.

    I believe that it is more normal to be bisexual than to be in one of the extremes. Many Many species of male animals are predominantly bisexual. If we just could take away the repression that exists in society and make Male to male sex fashionable again, there would be a revolution in sexual behavior.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8Z8oELlXT0

  • restoretherainbow

    I learned that most straight guys were bisexual when I went to university with a larger military continent, which made the majority of the population male. I had as much sex as I wanted, most with “straight” guys. It was one of the most informative experiences of my life about men and our fluid sexuality.

  • Aussiemate

    @DjARD Amen!

    I strongly believe if these men don’t open up about themselves they will never have a happy and fulfilling life.
    As Billy Budd added it I think there are way more bisexual people than gays.

  • alextranemi

    @restoretherainbow: yeah those men were bisexual not straight . I can assure you if you try to have sex with straight guys you’re gonna get a totally different reaction.

  • Large Marge

    straight men don’t fantasize about sucking one off.

    #closetcases

  • Black Pegasus

    Yawn, yet another bullsh!t article promoting the false narrative that truly Heterosexual men can be had by that lucky sexually depraved queen who just so happen to be in the right place at the right time. lol

    There is ZERO social capital that comes with being a homosexual, thus there is ZERO interests for a truly heterosexual man to be remotely curious about gay sex. Contrast that to the endless social capital that comes with being straight and you’ll see why gay men are more likely to be in “beard relationships” with females in order to maintain the priviledge that arises from such unions.

    With that preface in place, ANY man who willingly has sex with another man is a homosexual.. Bisexuality is a claim made by gay men who wish to hold on to that priviledge and social capital mentioned above.

  • jason smeds

    Much of this desire for homosexual interaction from straight-identifying guys reflects the power of the male sex drive. Like all men, straight-identifying men are naturally extremely horny, and will seek out men if women are absent. However, it’s crucial to note this important fact: these men seek out the homosexual experience, not the homosexual relationship. There’s a big difference.

    The reason why such men won’t admit to it is because women find it offensive. Generally, women see switch-hitting males as a threat to girl power. Switch-hitting males takes away her ability to dictate the terms of sexual expression to him.

    If a switch-hitting male fails to obtain consent from a woman for sex, he can always turn to men. Women are highly offended by their loss of control over males in this regard.

  • Milk

    With men when it comes to sex, there’s the physical and emotional aspect of sex. Men are more physical than emotional, it’s the level of those two scales that influence if they are sexually incline towards which gender. The confusion comes in when they cannot reconcile both aspect of physical need and emotional need. It’s a cliche that many men who had affairs outside of committed relationship when caught confessed to their mates, it’s just sex nothing more. Which to some extent it is just physical sex with little emotion attached. There’s where the grey area lies.

  • jason smeds

    Black Pegasus,

    Nonsense – sheer nonsense.

    The only people who deny the temptation that same-sex activity holds for straight-identifying men are (i) women who fear the power of the male sex drive or (ii) gay men who fear that it might offend women.

    One of the reasons why women wear more revealing clothing than men is to attract men away from men. A woman’s aim is to keep men’s attention on the opposite sex, not the same sex. Most women would become deliriously angry if homosexual experiences for straight-identifying guys were to be completely de-stigmatized.

    Women cannot cope with the idea that a man can turn to men after having been rejected by a woman. This is one reason why male bisexuality is still considered “icky” but female bisexuality is considered “hot”. Women helped to create this double standard.

  • Billy Budd

    Black Pegasus is COMPLETELY wrong. Please ignore everything he said.

  • vive

    This is the nonsense that comes from the modern idea (maybe based on importing ideas from gender identity politics into discussions of sexual orientation) that people are what they identify as. Sexual orientation is different from gender identity. These men are objectively bisexual, not straight.

  • musctop

    @Black Pegasus: Sorry, man–a whole bunch of sweeping generalities and utter bullshit. People IDENTIFY as straight, gay, bi, whatever–that’s their sexual identification. It doesn’t mean they don’t enjoy some kind of kink once in a while. Go to ANY gym and you’ll see the straightest guys checking you out, looking around–and for only one reason–it’s “dirty” and “kinky” and guys just love forbidden fruit. Getting off with another guy doesn’t change his identification any more than me sleeping with a woman changes mine. I’m 110 percent gay. But a lil kinky.

  • Merv

    It’s a mistake to equate porn interests to sexual orientation. Some gay men like to watch straight porn almost exclusively, but they’re still 100% gay. Some lesbians like to watch gay male porn. However, if “straight” guys fantasize about and seek out real-life gay sex beyond porn, they probably aren’t completely straight.

  • MMDD

    Porn is fantasy, not reality; but since it’s so interwoven into society now thanks to this thing called the Internet (which might as well be renamed “Free Porn”), too many people can’t seem to separate the two. A person getting off is a person getting off, and it can be hot regardless of the gender of that person or the sexual orientation of the person viewing it. I see things in porn I have no interest in doing in my personal life (for example, gloryhole sex), yet I can still find that exciting to watch. I have ZERO sexual attraction to women and absolutely ZERO desire to be with a woman sexually, but I can get aroused watching a woman orgasm in a video clip. In that context, it’s safe because I’m basically a spectator, not a participant, so to speak. Now, when a person steps out of that fantasy and starts engaging in those activities in his/her personal life AND enjoys doing those things, then that’s a whole different matter.

  • Zodinsbrother

    This British Sex Survey is interesting.

    http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2014/sep/28/british-sex-survey-2014-nation-lost-sexual-swagger

    It says “While only 8% of the population define their sexual orientation as either homosexual or bisexual, double that number (16%) have had a degree of sexual contact with someone of the same sex: 18% of women have had sexual contact with another woman, while 15% of men have had sexual contact with another man. Among those who define themselves as heterosexual, 12% have had sexual contact with someone of the same gender. Those in the youngest age group have had the most same-sex contact, 22% for 16-24s and 26% for 25-34s.”

  • Desert Boy

    Human sexuality is fluid. No pun intended.

  • adventuretime

    @jason smeds: Please disappear.

  • adventuretime

    This is one of those times when I find that labels are useless.

    LIke–I understand the importance of labels and that humans feel the need to categorize themselves to make sense of the world, but when it comes to sexuality, it just effs everything up. What do you call a guy only has (and enjoys) sex with women, but watches and gets of to gay porn? What do you call a gay person who does the same with lesbian porn? What do you call a guy who has only had relationships with women and fools around with a guy just once? All these people exist (subreddits are a great place to find everything under the sun when it comes to sexual attraction).

    When I was in college, I hooked up with a guy who had previously only dated women (and dated women after me, as well). I wholly believed he was sexually and romantically attracted to women–and I also believed he was attracted to me, too (he was the one who started flirting with me in the very beginning). We had fun, but to this day I am still the only guy he ever messed around with. Do I call him bisexual because he would ever experiment with someone of the same sex? I got frustrated because he never wanted to accept that label. Yet If I messed around with a woman tomorrow, I would still consider myself gay. I think it’s weird when people start attaching labels to others when you can never really be inside someone’s head and understand how their body and mind respond to attraction–as frustrating or tempting as it may be to shout “BI!” in a straight guy’s face and feel that you know something he doesn’t.

    In disagreement with this article, “straight men” are not a lot more bisexual than we think. People in general are more bisexual than we think. Bisexual men are a lot more bisexual than we might think. But I do believe that we should grant people the ability to decide for themselves, and if a guy who says he’s straight gets off to gay porn, then let it be what it is.

  • bottom72

    Oh honey, I know this from hooking up with married men on grindr, squirt, bathrooms and parks.

  • Steve318

    I think the Kinsey Reports of 1948 and 1953 already established that bisexuality is prevalent in many men. In my opinion the reason why homosexuality has been condemned by so many religions and societies is that it has been looked at as a perversion of heterosexuality. Once we understand that all sexuality is a matter of taste, not a perversion, then we begin to accept the wide range of human sexuality is actually “normal” and–heaven forbid (pun intended)–“natural.”

  • jmmartin

    It’s a sign of the times. I recall coming across the Texas-Mexican border, circa 1971, in a car full of family, including my younger brother who, like me, had quite long hair. A couple of clean-cut smartass dudes see us coming out of a gas station/convenience store and call back to us as they go in: “Surfer queers!” One of us said, “I’ve never surfed.” Within less than a decade, those same two guys would have been thought odd if they were not sporting long hair. Women liked it.

  • Pistolo

    Oh come on, how many times do closeted men start a sentence with “I’m straight, I’m definitely attracted to women but….”? Please. You can watch straight porn and only be looking at that dick, at that man’s face chowing down, at his butt tense and hardly even notice the women. Gay men watch things like “Straight Guys for Gay Eyes”, right? It’s not actually about the women, it’s still about the men. And this ain’t no survey, btw.

  • DerekR

    Jason Smeds = Michael Mellor = Jim Bryant = Petey = Jason
    His ridiculous pontificating is so laughably easy to identify he has become a compete joke. Banning him does not seem to work since he simply creates another sock puppet and continues on his crazy way…but Jason you will always be Jim Bryant to me.

  • Bauhaus

    @jason smeds:

    jimbryant rears his ugly head, yet again.

    You just don’t learn, troll.

    If you’re gonna create a new screen name and start trolling, at least TRY and leave out the misogyny bit.

    Reading your crap is as monotonous as watching paint dry.

  • Milk

    For many men sexual activities in most part it’s a self indulgence sports. The aim is to get physical sexual satisfaction that mostly leads to orgasm for oneself. Some straight men has no issues in penetrating men or women, receiving blow jobs and handjobs because they only care for their own physical pleasure. It’s very different from fully committing to a relationship that requires commitment in all aspects of one’s life. There are jerk off groups that involve many straight men. All it is is sex and nothing else. They still have their other relationship with their wives or girlfriends. As a society, I don’t think many of us have fully explore our sexuality. More often than not we have these rigid rules that judge and punishes anyone whose sexual desire gone beyond what deem as accepted sexual behavior.

  • Virge

    This is a subject I’ve had to personally deal with and try to figure out since age 15 in 2002.

    Desert boy got it right by saying, “Sexuality is fluid.” but it’s more than fluid.
    A huge part of the problem is the way we have been taught to conceptualize sexuality like the two dimensional Kinsey chart from zero to six for totally heterosexual to totally homosexual. See the chart below.
    http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-xbTLh4NrPes/UG37jrP2ATI/AAAAAAAAAHo/8DaOFEbmbzo/s1600/The-Kinsey-Scale.png

    IF sexuality were really that simple it would make it simpler than any other aspect of human psychology, personality or psyche. Just think about it for a second. Here it is 2014 and they still have not nailed down complete “theory” on what determines sexual identity. Here’s a short video from National Geographic from 2008 about hormone levels in the womb being a factor, but not the entire cause. Count the number of times they use words like MAYBE, IF, COULD BE, PERHAPS, CHANCE, MAY, OCCASIONALLY,
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=saO_RFWWVVA

    Sexual identity isn’t two dimensional. It has to be visualized in three dimensions. And HURRAY for the reputable NYC med school professor who has finally come forward with a new approach to visualizing sexual identity. He’s Dr.James Hicks and here’s a link to the test that all of you can take in order to better understand your own sexual identity as well as sexual identity in general. Please take the test. http://flexuality.wordpress.com/

    Take time to look over the information and new definitions he’s come up with to replace Kinsey’s neolithic zero to six concept.

    I’m an athletic healthy former marine who with equal attractions to men and women. On Kinsey’s simple minded chart that puts me smack dab in the middle as a bisexual. It doesn’t take into account things other than physical attraction — like the fact that I find it almost impossible to relate to or bond with women in any way other than as potential sex partners. To me they are am alien species. I relate and bond with men with no problems whatsoever. In fact I’m in what has evolved to be a totally wonderful monogamous relationship since 2010 that started in 2007. The “bond” and deep honest intimate relationship I have with him trumps all. For simplicity’s sake in social circumstances I call myself “gay” but — it’s not that simple.

    On the Flexuality test I scored Versatile: 4, Supersexual: 4 Macho: 4, Restrained: 9, Transitioning 0, Metamorphic 0
    (the scores on restrained, transitioning and metamorphic indicate I’m monogamous and done with change and experiments with my sexual identity)
    The other scores:
    Straight 6, Heteroflexible 4, Ambisexual 2, Flexamorous 3, Queer 3, Gay 0.

    After my 4 years in the marines and meeting guys since then– and keeping more “straight” male friends than “gay” — I can tell you there’s way more variation in male sexual identity than can be defined with outdated labels like hetero-bi-gay.

  • MMDD

    @Virge: “For simplicity’s sake in social circumstances I call myself ‘gay’ but — it’s not that simple.”

    Why do you HAVE to call yourself anything other than what you are: a bisexual man in a relationship with another man? Giving yourself a label of any kind is a personal choice. It infuriates me when bisexual men call themselves gay because it is an out and out lie. “It’s just easier…” “I don’t like explaining…” “Bisexuality is hard for people to understand…” blah blah blah. Just tell the truth, and who knows – you might actually educate some people.

    Furthermore, I am constantly amazed at people who say, “Labels are too limiting…”I don’t like labels…” “Labels are bad…” “Labels are outdated…” etc., but will then proceed to come up with a whole new list of labels that nobody knows what the fuck they mean.

  • Alan down in Florida

    So many thoughts so little time. 1-Gay sex for straight men is forbidden fruit and we all know the appeal of forbidden fruit. 2-It’s well known that straight men in a surroundings that is hyper-masculine will often want to pursue a more passive role in sex (hence the stereotype that all Marines are bottoms). 3-Most straight men participate in contact sports and enjoy the contact and camaraderie while never admitting the homoerotic nature of that.

    Just last night I watched a movie called Capital Games. In it one ex-cop who has just broken up with his girlfriend meets and falls hard for a new co-worker who is engaged to be married imminently to his fiancee. Intensity and confusion break out with the classic will they/won’t they trope. It made me wonder if the societal approbation against gay sex comes from fear that if there were no stigma to it then all straight men will want to do it. How ya gonna keep them down on the farm after they’ve f**ked Perry?

  • Captain Obvious

    I’m so sick of this bs that only exists on the internet about how everyone is supposedly bisexual and no matter what we’re not allowed to say “I’m gay.” or “I’m straight.” and have that be the truth.

    Everyone is not bisexual, stop pushing this moronic idea. Only bisexuals who don’t identify as bisexuals and the losers who feel left out and play pretend that they’re bisexual keep throwing this around. The majority of the people on the planet are not bisexual and most people are not EVER going to have a same sex experience.

    Get real, stop pushing your stupid fetish.

  • MMDD

    @Virge: OK, so I took this “flexuality test”…which they might as well call a “bisexuality test” because that’s exactly how most of the questions were worded. The result? “You may be gay.” Well…duh!

  • Virge

    @MMDD:

    Now that you’ve proven the point……..
    Thanks for reminding me to mention that gay men are by far the most narrow minded, obnoxious and attached to labels regarding sexual identity.

    The good thing about the flexuality defintions is they integrate transgender into the equation — which Kinsey never did.

    Have fun trolling!

  • TnTUAZ

    Aren’t straight men ever so fun? LOL

  • Desert Boy

    I’ve had encounters and affairs with several straight men. All of them were great guys. One recurring theme I noticed with them was, they were weary of being brow-beaten by their high maintenance wives and girlfriends. They rarely received props from their spouses. Just relentless criticism. If you don’t want your men to stray, try to give them some positive love.

  • demented

    @DjARD: And the reverse happens too. If a man is more frequently attracted to men than women (say, a 4 or 5) he might pretend to be gay rather than brave the biphobic hate that he’d have to deal with if he were honest. Read “Notes from a Unicorn” for a glimpse of this.

    Personally I think most people who identify as either gay or straight are probably at least a little bi, but have firmly brainwashed themselves with their “labels” into not even recognizing that they have these feelings, and attributing them some nonsexual quality. They discount their attractions subconsciously because “that’s not who I am!”

  • RyanD

    @Virge:

    I don’t think he meant any hostility to his comment. He stated that you identifying yourself as gay, while in reality you’re not, added in more confusion than clarification.

    Thanks for the link to that blog. I got “you may be Gay” which was not a shocker at all. :P

  • grero

    To those who have read translations from ancient Greece and Rome or who have read anthropological studies, this is not the least bit surprising. Of the first twenty Roman Emperors, 18 (90%!!!) had male lovers, for example. The idea that people are born with an unchanging sexual orientation, that’s not at all influenced by culture, is rather silly then.

    BTW, I have written a book on this, so if you’re interested in the topic of sexual flexibility (free, including the audiobook): http://grero.com/

  • grero

    @grero: One more thing, if you have any questions let me know here.

    Also, more recommended reading:

    Homosexuality in Greece and Rome: A Sourcebook of Basic Documents by Thomas K. Hubbard

    Homosexualities by Stephen O. Murray

    Both are available for free on certain sites… type TPB after copying and pasting the title, hint hint.

  • grero

    @Billy Budd: Absolutely, among great apes, same-sex sex is prevalent (and was prevalent among humans before Christianity took over the West): http://grero.com/#_Toc347564542

    The table’s info is from the book Biological Exuberance: Animal Homosexuality and Natural Diversity by Bruce Bagemihl.

  • RyanD

    @demented:

    Could you clarify these “feelings” that gay/straight people hide from themselves?
    I mean, I’m gay, but I have commented on the beauty of women before. Though I’ve never fantasized about being with one.

    Personally, I don’t understand why it’s so difficult to determine your sexuality. I have always liked boys and not girls since I was 6, before I had any idea of what sexuality was. Maybe because of my lack of fluidity and little pressure to conform I can’t see it.

  • SteveDenver

    A lot of guys are fully capable of enjoying a wide range of sexual activity. What often stops them is fear of others finding out. STIGMA and FEAR are two great buzz kills and that’s sad.

    I was at a party and the masculine, good-natured, very well educated host calmly commented that he had tried just about everything with men and women — with several of the men and women at the party. He said some of it was amazing, some was not so amazing, none of it was bad.

  • Paco

    So the erasure of bisexuals continues here to satisfy someone’s straight guy fetish… Again. The articles here are so transparent about it. Yes we know you fantasize about straight guys queerty, and they are just confused and want to fall in to your bed because they are all sexually fluid ( but still straight of course) even though you, me and most gay men wouldn’t be secretly desiring to be with women… At all.

    It really would be nice to see more gay men and openly bi guys be elevated on to a sexual pedestal around here instead of being something inferior to a straight guy ( which is what stories like this seem to be implying). If I need a fix of straight male worshipping, I can go to any site that caters to heteros. There is certainly no shortage of those sites.

  • demented

    @RyanD: What I mean is that I think the pressure to choose a side in the binary often makes people decide that they are all one or the other. And in our culture there is a lot of emphasis on sexual orientation (along with things like race, gender, political affiliation etc) as being “who you are.” So there’s a lot of political/social baggage that comes with it, and anyone who deviates from the binary is scrutinized in a very unflattering way.

    I mean, you look back a few thousand years, and the Romans and Greeks didn’t even have a concept of bi/homo/heterosexuality. Most if not all of the men were bisexual/pansexual because that was how their society worked, and that was normal. There were some who were straight, and some who were gay (Hadrian, for instance) but without the societal pressure to pick a side and stick with it, they didn’t really think about the gender of who they hooked up with.

    FYI I am not saying that all gay people are bi, just that a lot of people who are gay/straight have convinced themselves that “that would NEVER happen because I’m_________” when in fact it could. And apparently, it does.

    And BTW I appreciate your politeness, bc a lot of people I talk to on this subject get very angry and defensive. I’m not hugely fluid myself, but I am trying to learn more about it.

  • demented

    @SteveDenver: Although considering some of the stuff on the Internet, I’m hoping he hasn’t done EVERYTHING sexually. Some is just peculiar.

  • yynotnnh

    Guys are guys they don’t care what hole they use, as longs as they get their nutts of they’ll use it if they can.

  • Jacob23

    This article and most of the comments confuse sexual orientation – which concerns one’s primary or exclusive attractions – with “sexuality” which may include rare, sporadic, or situational attraction or conduct. There is a group of men and women who identify as straight and who are primarily attracted to the opposite sex. However, they may experience weak or sporadic attraction to the same sex over the course of a lifetime. They may have a few homosexual fantasies or experiences over their lifetimes, but they can take them or leave them. They otherwise lead heterosexual lives. These would be Kinsey 1s and 2s on the Kinsey scale. There’s a further group of people who are exclusively heterosexual (Kinsey 0), but who engage in homosexual sex because of external circumstances. For example, they are in prison or the military and have no access to the opposite sex over a long period of time, etc. These people are not attracted to their sexual partners, but arouse themselves with other stimuli and make do while external circumstances preclude an opposite sex partner.

    These various subgroups of people (who, when combined, are far more numerous than LGBs) are not bisexual, i.e., people who are roughly equally attracted to male and female. I would love for it to be true that all people are innately bisexual. I think the world would be a better place if it were true. But there really is no evidence for that proposition.

  • RyanD

    @demented:

    Thanks for responding. I had initially read your comment as the “Everyone is bi”-line. Thank you for clarifying.

    Speaking of fluidity, going by sparse information I have, I always thought fluidity being in some people. I think it was one of conclusions to an APA study of sexuality that I may have read off Wikipedia (there goes my cred).

    When you speak of fluidity do you mean people experiencing new-found attraction to people they hadn’t found attractive or that their sexual identities went up and down the sexuality spectrum? I always pictured it as a bi person experiencing new appreciation for another group of people.

    First time commenter here, so thank you for not taking me to task. :P

  • demented

    @grero: I know what you mean. I mean, there have been whole societies where bisexuality was the norm and took place for most of the population so why is it a shock that the human race hasn’t changed all that much since then? Why do we pretend that people in general are not and never have been capable of sexual fluidity and/or bisexuality (example: all those people asking “was shakespeare gay” instead of “was Shakespeare bisexual”)?

  • Paco

    @Captain Obvious: “Everyone is not bisexual, stop pushing this moronic idea. ”

    ———-
    They aren’t saying that at all. They are trying to convince themselves, and us, that straight guys are all sexually fluid, but still “straight”. This article certainly wasn’t about gay men secretly fapping to lesbian porn while still being gay, because it doesn’t play into the fantasy/fetish some have around here.

  • demented

    @RyanD: More the latter, IMHO, because a newfound attraction to a gender you hadn’t found attractive before can be based on emotions and feelings, with sexual attraction following after.

    So that’s more complicated and less sexually-based than just “I was mostly attracted to A a few years back, and now I’m mostly attracted to Z.”

  • RyanD

    @demented:

    Oh, I see. Humans are such terribly fascinating creatures, aren’t they?

  • RyanD

    @demented:

    If you don’t mind me asking, what do you identify as? If it’s personal, no problem at all.

  • Paco

    @yynotnnh: Speak for yourself.

  • Virge

    @grero:

    I went to Catholic Boys Academy for 12 years and we all took Latin and the history of the Roman Empire. From that point I’ve never stopped reading about it. You’re likely right about the first 20 emperors. Claudius didn’t have male lovers and I don’t think Marcus Aurelius did either. I know when Augustus became emperor at 19 and had three catamites (2 slaves and one freeborn) who all became freemen and some of his most trusted friends and administrators of the empire. Also the story of Hadrian and Antinous needs to be made into a gay romance movie

    @RyanD:

    Thanks. MMDD’s comment was just happened to be the first in line of the typical responses I get from gay men when I explain my sexual Identity. I don’t remember a straight man or woman ever saying something so ridiculous as, ““…….Bisexuality is hard for people to understand…” blah blah blah. Just tell the truth, and who knows – you might actually educate some people.” Gay guys pop that attitude about 50% of the time.

    I did tell the truth in hopes of educating people with my original comment but it seems to have been wasted on him.

    But the kicker were the snarky sarcastic words, ““Labels are too limiting…”I don’t like labels…” “Labels are bad…” “Labels are outdated…” I had to laugh about that… up until the 17th century the only FOUR LABELS for the elements were earth, wind, fire and water… penguins and seals were labeled fish and bats were labeled birds.

    The reasons I simplify things and say I’m gay
    #1. To avoid tedious conversations and explanations
    #2. Out of total respect for my man and our relationship. I’m not going to have simple minded acquaintances making fun of him for being with a bisexual man… and people like MMDD are always fast to do that.

  • Curtispsf

    I was a teenager the first time I had sex with another guy; he was 2 years older than me and was captain of the football team at our high school. After our first time together, I asked him if this meant I was gay and, to this day, I remember his response which was “Don’t be so quick to put a label on yourself. Lots of other people will do that for you because they think that that label will make it easier for them to understand everything they think they need to know about you. Follow your heart and see where that leads you. And don’t worry what others may think.”

    We were boyfriends for 2 years, our families were friends, and nobody ever thought that our relationship was anything but “just friends”, despite the fact that James slept over quite a bit.

    Today, my friend identifies as straight, is married and has two children. I, on on the other hand, am very happily and openly gay. James’ wife met me and I was introduced as his “teenage boyfriend”. Her response was amazing; “You and James were very lucky to have had each other when you were just boys”.

    My point is that I think there more and more “James” in the world who care little about labels. We need to let them be whoever they are without projecting our desire for them to be one thing or the other. And sometimes a penis just has a mind of its own and will do what it wants to whomever is nearby.

  • nephilim71

    Too many damn labels…

  • RyanD

    @Virge:

    I actually think MMDD was making a point that people who are anti-label end up making even more confusing labels as means to stand out. He didn’t mean to antagonize you, I think. I tend to rationalize, curse my naivety.

    Oh and I think your second point is very sweet. I guess we do a lot of things for the people we love.

  • MMDD

    @Virge: And thank you for reminding me that people like you love to come to gay-oriented message boards and make sweeping comments against gay men like what you just made. Have fun being a holier-than-thou prick.

  • MMDD

    @Virge: “I don’t remember a straight man or woman ever saying something so ridiculous as ‘Bisexuality is hard for people to understand…’ blah blah blah. Just tell the truth, and who knows – you might actually educate some people. Gay guys pop that attitude about 50% of the time.”

    Of course you don’t because that’s something I’ve heard BISEXUALS say as they rationalize why they tell people they are gay or straight instead of bisexual. That was one of my points. If quoting something that I’ve heard bisexuals say many times makes me a “gay guy with an attitude,” then so be it.

  • MrNiceGuy

    @Black Pegasus: I agree with you (almost) 100%: I have a really hard time understanding how any individual can be equally, or partially, turned on by both the feminine and the masculine. And I am not talking about being “excited” when seeing someone attractive of either sex, that’s something we all share, gay or straight. I am talking getting an erection and wanting to have sex with them-excited.

    The bisexual man, equally excited by men and women, would then, to my understanding, be dtf with nearly any man or woman, since he does not discriminate against any lack or abundance of any distinctly gender-specific characteristics: the real question to me is then; what individual is the bisexual not attracted to, if he is attracted to both the masculine and the feminine equally?

    I know it’s a very arbitrary comparison, but to me that’s like having lunch with someone, and them saying that they don’t care if it’s ice cream, rib eye steak, or tomatoes, as long as it’s food. Or buying clothes for someone, and having them tell you that they don’t care what shape, color or size it is, as long as it’s clothing. Or listening to music with someone, and they are telling you their love for traditional Christian hymns is just as strong as their love for Black metal.

    In other words: Show me the guy, or girl, who appreciates a big set of voluptuous, 36DD breasts JUST AS MUCH as he(or she) appreciates the sculpted, muscled chest of a man, that individual does not exist, I don’t believe it.

    To me it seems as if bisexuality is more a manifestation of the taboo that homosexuality is in society than it is an expression of a certain type of sexuality. You know, the whole”I like doing it with guys sometimes, but I also like to bang the shit out girls like a real man. So I’m totally not a fag, dude.”- that kind of fence-sitting, self-loathing b.s.

  • jason smeds

    The thing that society fears is the idea that a man can turn from women to men for sexual relief. It is the TURNING AWAY – or the ability to switch – that is so feared.

    One reason why society fears switch-hitting males more than switch-hitting females is because it is the man who is the transporter (or releaser) of the life-giving force (ie sperm). A man ALWAYS has to be aroused by the sight of a woman’s body in order to release the sperm to her. A woman does NOT have to be aroused by the sight of a man’s body to receive the sperm from him. Release is an active process, reception is a passive process.

    Biology has set up this double standard. At the social level, women exploit this double standard. In the process, she has helped to create a bisexual double standard which de-stigmatizes female bisexuality but not male bisexuality. It helps to create a power base for women.

    If the male homosexual act were to be completely de-stigmatized for all men, women would lose power over men sex-wise.

  • MMDD

    @RyanD: Yes, that was one of my key points. Thank you.

    @RyanD: That is correct. I did not mean for my original comments to come across as hostile. I was just expressing my own frustration at 1) people who aren’t honest about their sexuality and 2) people who complain about labels but then turn around and create new ones.

  • MMDD

    @Virge: “I’m not going to have simple minded acquaintances making fun of him for being with a bisexual man… and people like MMDD are always fast to do that.”

    Really? You know me that well all from one post? Sad because I have always been one of the first to defend bisexuals whenever I hear someone say something as foolish as, “Oh, bisexuals are really gay but in denial.” And I will continue making that point whenever necessary.

  • JAW

    There is a Kink site that is mostly straight… Fetlife

    They use a term… “HETROFLEXABLE”

    The meaning of the term is that a person way identify as straight, and be straight, but at the right time, place and person they can get into play.

    For Gays and lesbians the term is “HomoFlexable”

    Again, the person identifies as Gay, Lesbian… but would be open to something.

    I think that we spend too much time with labels… I have played with married guys that play with men… so they do not make a romantic connection. They just get their rocks off without worrying about falling in love. The funny thing is most do not think that they are cheating on their wives, since there is no romance.

  • MrNiceGuy

    @Jacob23: Thank you, great comment. This whole article is so obviously playing into everyones wishful thinking about bisexuality: Straight men think it’s totally hot when two girls get it on. Gay men want to know that those straight dudes do fool around every now and then, even if it’s only when they’re drunk, and would possibly be down for some fun. And some straight women are even turned on by seeing two guys have sex, and so on.

    It’s mostly a fantasy, that’s being backed up by stories of people who are experimenting with their sexuality. However, the fact that someone happens to try things out does not change their preference, it doesn’t turn the straight man into a bisexual, or the gay man straight. It’s just people testing their own limits, or what happens when someone has gone without sex for too long (like hostages or prison inmates).

  • NoCagada

    I’ve had sex with way more guys who call themselves straight (and mostly married…AND they were almost always bottoms)

  • adventuretime

    @MrNiceGuy: “I have a really hard time understanding how any individual can be equally, or partially, turned on by both the feminine and the masculine”

    Couldn’t a bigoted straight person say the same thing about not understanding same-sex attraction? (And indeed, many do). You don’t have to understand it. You just have to listen to the lived experiences and accept that it exists, even if it doesn’t directly involve you.

    Also, who says a bisexual person is dtf just about anyone? Are you (as a gay man, I’m assuming) dtf every single you guy you come across? Probz not. I know I’m not. I would assume that, though bisexual people are attracted to both genders, they still have things they do and don’t like, people they do and don’t want to sleep with. Bisexual doesn’t mean “I’ll hump anything just because it’s human,” in the same way gay doesn’t mean “I’ll have sex with anything as long as it has a penis.” Right?

    I think you might have a very close-minded view on the matter, especially coming from someone whose sexuality “deviates” from the norm as well.

  • adventuretime

    @jason smeds: Back to your cave, troll.

  • DarkZephyr

    I always hear “sexuality is fluid, sexuality is fluid”. Does that make me a freak? Because I have absolutely NO desire to have sex with a woman whatsoever. They do not turn me on, I do not jack off to women masturbating, etc. I am definitely strictly dickly.

    That being said, plenty of my brothers’ straight friends have tried to sleep with me when they found out I was gay. They tended to be drunk when they tried it though.

  • Milk

    @JAW: That’s the problem when religions are involve regarding the sanctity of marriage. They throw out the whole human sexuality subjects and buried in a deep hole. That is why relationship as defined by our society is so fuck up.

  • Paco

    @DarkZephyr: No. It doesn’t make you a freak. It is ALWAYS a one way street with these articles. Straight guys secretly desire d1ck, but the evil society doesn’t allow them to be the d1ck loving “heteros” they really are.

    I honestly find it hilarious since we, as gay men, are highly resistant to the heterosexual conditioning we have been subjected to since birth and the added fact that ex-gay therapy has proven to be a damaging farce as well. Why some gay men insist that men can’t be 100% straight regardless of societal expections the same as we are 100% gay, is beyond me. Articles like this one are just written to feed the fantasy some gay men have about straight guys.

    If your sexuality is fluid, you are bisexual regardless how you choose to label yourself. “Bisexual” seems to be a bad word with some though. I’ll never understand why.

  • jason smeds

    If you read the Bible, it contains a fascinating quote which sums up a woman’s (and society’s) fear of men who can swing both ways. To paraphrase, here it is:

    “Men turned away from women and instead burned in their lusts for men…it is a sin, and such men must be put to death.”

    In other words, the Bible forbade male switch-hitters under penalty of death. The homosexual act was thus prohibited but only in the context of men who can switch their sexual behavior between women and men.

    It is a fascinating insight into modern-day attitudes to men who can turn from women to men or from men to women. Today’s attitude to such men is slightly improved from the time the Bible was written but it is still far more harsh than it is to women who switch-hit.

    Here’s another fascinating insight: the original Bible did NOT forbid female homosexual activity. It only forbade male homosexual activity. The line about female homosexuality being sinful was ADDED by translators who translated the Bible some hundreds of years ago. They did it to prevent charges of hypocrisy and double standards.

    Modern attitudes to male switch-hitters are still being dictated by women and their fear of male homosexual activity.

  • tardis

    It’s only gay when you kiss.

  • alextranemi

    @Virgo you’re a bisexual man in relationship with another man . You’re not gay and by identifying yourself such as you’re just plain lying . No wonder why people think that bisexual people don’t exist or they are confused as hell. Sexuality is just so simple , same sex attraction = gay opposite sex attraction = straight attraction to both sexes = bisexual . People just like to complicate things by adding other factors such as social expectations,stigma,education,peer pressure etc… Into the equation when in reality it only comes to the point whether you like dick,pussy or both.

  • Saint Law

    @jason smeds: Why does Jim Bryant aka Micheal Mellor aka Jason Smeds keep going to the trouble of changing his i.d. when the content of his interminable posts is the usual psychotic women hatred?

    You’ve been told before but it’s worth repeating: the reason no self-respecting male – gay or straight – will touch your raddled old arse is not because a woman prohibits it, but because yours is the kind of ugly there is no mistaking.

    Seek help. Srsly.

  • adventuretime

    @Saint Law: There is no help for the internet troll; he feeds off of his own existence. The Troll is best left festering in his own filth, left to shrivel up and die in the vast wealth of his insignificance. Your words to him are but mere fuel to the fire–thus, I suggest the quickest way to rid yourself of his presence:

    Do Not Engage. Don’t Feed the Troll.

  • Virge

    @alextranemi: @Virgo you’re a bisexual man in relationship with another man . You’re not gay and by identifying yourself such as you’re just plain lying . No wonder why people think that bisexual people don’t exist or they are confused as hell. Sexuality is just so simple , same sex attraction = gay opposite sex attraction = straight attraction to both sexes = bisexual . People just like to complicate things by adding other factors such as social expectations,stigma,education,peer pressure etc… Into the equation when in reality it only comes to the point whether you like dick,pussy or both.

    Dude, I can name off four psychologists including the one I sleep with — and boat load of true bisexuals over the age of 35 who all say I’m not a true bisexual. I’m not the only guy like me and from the looks of it from data from Dr. Hick’s test there are more like me than there are men who say they’re 100% gay.

    But go ahead and believe what you want to believe. Say what you want to say. Just 40 years ago it was “accepted knowledge” that homosexuality was caused by a submissive dad and a dominant mother. Not only is sexuality fluid but so is knowledge unless you really do know everything about everything.

  • Virge

    and one last note…..

    The reason I said “bisexuals over 35” is scientists and researchers are setting that as the age by which transitioning younger people have established and grown comfortable with their own sexual identities. At least 70% of the people under 16 to 25 who call themselves bisexual turn out to redefine themselves as straight or gay before reaching 35.

  • alextranemi

    @Virge: “I’m an athletic healthy former marine who with equal attractions to men and women” your word not mine . That’s the definition of bisexuality. Yeah ok because 4 psychologists said that you’re not a “true” bisexual then you’re not then . It’s really laughable to me but whatever. You sound like someone who has been brainwashed .

  • demented

    @MrNiceGuy: So in other words, you can’t imagine it, so it doesn’t exist and must be a lie… despite having existed since long before our society’s bias existed.

    Couldn’t the same also be said of homosexuality by some straight dude?

    Nobody demands your understanding the way it feels, only your respect of others’ sexualities.

  • Swallower

    Hi!
    I know for a fact that plenty of “str8” guys like gay sex, because I’ve asked quite a few str8 guys to let me blow them, and it usually doesn’t take a lot of convincing and they always like it, and many times will give me a blowjob in return, so yes, sexuality is very fluid…that’s my experience, at least

  • jason smeds

    Straight-identifying men have a hidden fluid sexuality. You have to remember that the straight identity is a DEFAULT position encouraged by society, including women. Without the “anti-male homosexual” influences of society and women in particular, straight-identifying men will move away from the default position and towards some point on the “bisexual behavior” spectrum. You see this in all-male surrounds like prisons, the military etc where women – and thus their negative influences – are largely absent.

    Gay-identifying men MAY also have a fluid sexuality. However, it is LESS likely because the gay identity is NOT a default position. Gay male identity is a position arrived at DESPITE the negative influences imposed on male homosexual behavior by society in general and women in particular. The gay male identity is a higher hill to climb, basically, and has been arrived at with much thought and inner reasoning.

    This is what I say to men who seek sexual experiences with men: you have a better chance of finding it in a group of straight-identifying men who are not accompanied by women. Wherever women mix with straight-identifying men, it imposes an “anti-male-homosexual-behavior” influence on the men and reduces the chance of them moving away from their “I’m only straight” default position in terms of their behavior.

    This is why feminism – and women in general – have made it harder for straight-identifying men to be openly casual and relaxed about their same-sex experiences with other men. By doing this, women have also made it harder for gay-identifying men to obtain casual sex from straight-identifying men in an open and relaxed way.

  • wpewen

    The actual percentage of men in the United States who are biologically homosexual is somewhere between 3 and 5 percent, roughly. Lots of straight guys enjoy homosexual sex occasionally or regualarly.
    What’s a bummer is how much people care about it. I’m 100% homosexual, although I do enjoy looking at an attractive woman and can sexualize on it. But I’ve only gotten it on with men in 56 years. I don’t think I’ll ever identify with gay men who obsess on this topic. Who cares?

  • enlightenone

    “Straight guys might be more bisexual than you think.”

    Actually, it’s: “Straight” guys who engage in, desire, obsess about, are curious” for various rationales are not willing to accept/admit they are bisexual!

  • grethomory

    I guess it’s no different than gay guys who prefer to watch straight porn. I know alot of gay guys who prefer straight porn. I had a roommate years ago that it was nothing to come home and see him watching straight porn. He wasn’t a top either.

  • grero

    @Virge: Marcus Aurelius is probably the best documented case, actually. We have his letters to his tutor Fronto:

    “Go on, threaten me with hosts of arguments, yet shall you never drive your lover, I mean me, away; nor shall I the less assert that I love Fronto, or love him the less, because you prove with reasons so various and so vehement that those who are less in love must be more helped and indulged. So passionately, by Hercules, am I in love with you, nor am I frightened off by the law you lay down, and even if you shew yourself more forward and facile to others, who are non-lovers, yet will I love you while I have life and health.” – http://grero.com/#_Toc347564531

  • Virge

    Thanks Grero…. Good to know that.

  • Virge

    alextranemi
    @Virge: “I’m an athletic healthy former marine who with equal attractions to men and women” your word not mine . That’s the definition of bisexuality. Yeah ok because 4 psychologists said that you’re not a “true” bisexual then you’re not then . It’s really laughable to me but whatever. You sound like someone who has been brainwashed
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    @alextranemi
    By taking that first sentence of mine completely out of context with the rest of the paragraph I guess we can give you the Head Cherry Picker Award.

  • alextranemi

    @Virge: ” like the fact that I find it almost impossible to relate to or bond with women in any way other than as potential sex partners. To me they are am alien species. I relate and bond with men with no problems whatsoever.” That still makes you being a bisexual man and not gay no matter how twisted you’re trying to convince yourself .

  • Jacob23

    @grero: Read your blog and found it to be one of the most fatuous and unintentionally hilarious sites I have visited in a long time. You don’t understand statistics, sociology, psychology or methods of historical interpretation. Don’t know what your day job is, but whatever it is, don’t quit it.

  • jason smeds

    Porn has nothing to do with sex. Porn is prostitution, not sex. Big difference.

  • dggeelong

    What is the query?
    No-body is straight or gay – everybody is Bi-sexual!
    Bi-sexual as can have an enjoyable and fulfilling relationship with another person either the same or opposite sex.
    So to clarify it a little more there are 3 groups of Bi-sexuals:
    1/ Bi-sexual, who experience some fantasies or have actually participated in sex with both sexes.
    2/ Bi-sexual – predominantly straight… this is those who only desire anything with the opposite sex [most are brainwashed by religion] so they are not truly aware of who they are or what they desire.
    3/ Bi-sexual predominantly gay… this is those who are aware they have little or no attraction [sexually] to the opposite sex. They usually have very close friends of the opposite sex.

    Predominantly straight folk often have fantasies which are not available with their opposite sex partner.

    Few people understand there is nothing performed sexually that is not performed by another sexuality as ‘normal’ and enjoyable.
    I guy I knew was Bi-sexual predominantly straight, he loved his girl to insert a dildo into his anus, yet when [he was single again] he tried the ‘real thing’ with a gay mate of his, he definitely didn’t like it.
    Gay fantasies are normal by Bi-sexual predominantly straight guys.

  • NoCagada

    @jason smeds: HUH?

  • onthemark

    @enlightenone: More like: “Bisexual Men Are A Lot More Gay Than People Think.”

    • enlightenone

      @onthemark: That works too!

  • Dru L.

    This fits a theory that I have been gathering evidence for now for about 6 years. I will be publishing the paper, soon. It has to do with this very subject. I will have to cite this article and that guy’s paper, now. Thanks.

  • Laura Hurt

    @Black Pegasus: Bisexuality is a sexual orientation just like homosexuality is. Just because it is something you don’t believe does not make it not true.

  • BlklthrDaddy

    Okay, I just had to chime in on this one and I think the label idea does get in the way for some men and as my one bi-sexual male friend told me why does it have to have a label at all? Since I have seen him fuck women and yes he has sucked my dick and quite well I might add. If you do put a label then I agree that is has to be bi-sexual and there is nothing wrong with that either. Those watching gay porn however makes me think you have more issues my man. If you are looking for technique…that can only take you so far. You jacking off to gay porn…sorry but that is not straight behavior. You can call whatever you like, but you are clearly in denial. I do understand the whole sucking dick because you know how you want your own dick sucked. I get that and I hate to let all of the guys out there know this but there is nothing wrong with being curious and ‘sex’ with out the relationship is just that sex! The relationship part is what scares the guys the most and them being labeled as gay.

    • enlightenone

      @BlklthrDaddy: “…The relationship part is what scares the guys the most and them being labeled as gay.”

      Then you don’t get the “benefits”/goodies. Now, a MAN who is not scared and don’t trip for being “mislabeled” that’s another ballgame, and I have had my FRIENDS like this since I was 12 years old!

  • DjARD

    @Curtispsf:

    Please don’t take this as an insult to you and James, but…

    There’s a huge logical inconsistency going on here.

    James says not to let people label you. OK, cool. He even calls you his “teenage boyfriend”. Also cool.

    But he identifies as straight. Under technical terms, this is bisexuality. Now, I understand the desire not identify as such – if anything, it’s limiting in its simplicity. But to me, when he says he’s straight, it means he has privilege and he doesn’t want to let go of it. He sounds like a masculine man, one with a wife and kids. If he were to openly identity as something other than straight, he would begin to lose heterosexual privileges.

    James may not believe in labeling and believe in following your heart, but by saying he’s straight despite other things genuinely contradicting that, it seems like he’s unwilling to let go of privileges that come with being seen as heterosexual.

    It’s great that he can talk the talk, but he should walk the walk, too, if that’s how he truly feels. Because he’s not straight. He doesn’t have to be bi, either. He can be nothing – just James. (I, for one, tend to call myself one of “non-binary sexuality”, since it covers a lot of fucking bases.)

  • grero

    @Jacob23: Fatuous is when someone offers no evidence but only insults a work with hundreds of sources. I get it. You’re made uncomfortable by the idea (more like established, if unacknowledged, fact) that sexual orientation isn’t quite the propaganda of the last few decades’ “born that way.” If we know that exclusive breederism isn’t genetic/hormonal/anything-but-the-obvious-cultural-expectations, where does that leave the innateness of exclusive same-sex attractions? Few want to have that conversation.

  • DjARD

    @Virge:

    I don’t understand some of the hate people have been giving you, since I understand what you’re saying. But here’s what I’d like to get cleared up for you, since you touched upon it:

    To be simplistic, you’re bisexual. What you’re not? Biromantic.

    See, the even greater problem with all this is that sexuality and romantic-affection become conflated. But they’re not the same thing. We know this. We know that on a biological level, within the brain, those are separate parts.

    A man can be heteromantic but homosexual. A woman can be bisexual but homoromantic. Etc… This is how asexuality works; heteromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, pan romantic, aromantic, and so on. Of course, again, they’re all labels, but still. You can even have sexual aromantics – because they’re separate parts of the brain.

    It’s society and culture that’s put the two together, but within our bodies, they’re apart from each other. So yes, to me, you’re bisexual – a “true” one. But it sounds like you’re homoromantic, or “gay” in your romantic affections.

  • demented

    @jason smeds: What the hell are you talking about? Did a woman steal your boyfriend and now you spread the gospel of how women are evil sexuality-suppressing witches?

  • demented

    @grero: That’s pretty explicit. No way of interpreting that otherwise. Yeah, he is a pretty good example of a bisexual – a passionate love for another man, followed by a passionate love for a woman.

  • demented

    @RyanD: I am a woman, and would say i am roughly 95% attracted to men, 5% to women (maybe in fluctuation, down 90/10). It actually took me a long time to figure out that I occasionally find a woman fascinating in the same way as I do men, bc I would have given a different answer five years ago. So ever since, I have been investigating the intricacies of sexuality and how it seems to turn out both in history and today.

  • Jacob23

    @grero: Lol! Actually that’s not what fatuous means. So we can add English to the list of subject areas in which you lack skills. However, I appreciate the entertainment value in your attempt to defend your work (which must be great cuz it has hundreds of sources!) Those sources include quotes from TV shows and movies and cherry-picked quotes from gay websites. A true scholarly work. But my favorite source was a YT video, the casting of which was evidence for a sweeping sociological claim about a global population. You remind me of a classmate from 6th grade. He couldn’t understand why his book report got such a low grade. It was the maximum number of pages and it had the required number of footnotes, so how could it not be good?!

    Well, anyway, don’t let me keep you. There are a lot of Nando’s customers waiting.

  • vive

    What is “straight”? If it can mean everything, it means nothing.

  • Bauhaus

    @Virge:

    I related to what you had to say in your comment.

    Personally, I was not able to bond with women romantically, and I never sought out females sexually (they sought out me), so I stopped having sex with them altogether. Bonding is essential in a relationship, without it, there is no glue to keep it together, it’s impossible for a relationship to develop, there’s no way to love.

    Even though I enjoyed sex with women, I knew that to continuing to do it was unfair (to women) and counterproductive (for me). My attraction, desire, drive, and ability to both physically and emotionally bond with men, is what makes me gay. Perhaps a truly bisexual person has the ability to bond both sexually and emotionally, to both sexes.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: “…Even though I enjoyed sex with women…I never sought out females sexually (they sought out me).” Well then, as a “gay” man and physically attractive, you have the potential to be a good sex worker, i.e. Gigolo. There are a lot of lonely, sexually unsatisfied, high-income/wealthy heterosexual women just waiting for YOU!

  • RyanD

    @enlightenone:

    Not to be rude, but isn’t that a bit mean-spirited of you? He stated his very personal reasons on why he identifies as gay and you come to demean him as a sex worker?

    I have read your comments before and I think you’re usually nicer than this. Not that you comment to benefit anyone but yourself, but I thought this was rather odd.

    Anyway, thank you Bauhaus for sharing a bit of your life.

    • enlightenone

      “Not to be rude, but isn’t that a bit mean-spirited of you? He stated his very personal reasons on why he identifies as gay and you come to demean him as a sex worker?”

      Not if I view sex work/Gigolo as a positive depending on the person, his qualities, the circumstances, and his attitude/mindset about his services.

      Clearly, we don’t share the same view, I understand, a month ago I somewhat shared your view!

  • demented

    @Bauhaus: No, that means your romantic orientation is not synced with your sexual one.

  • RyanD

    @demented

    No to what? He’s not gay? He says he’s gay and isn’t naturally attracted to women. Sounds gay to me.

    I agree it is strange that he says he doesn’t feel anything for women, yet still pursues them. I’m thinking maybe he was in the closet and tried to act straight? Or maybe he’s an almost (Kinsey 5).

    Seeing as though we don’t have the whole picture I’m still going to agree with his assessment that he is gay.

  • Sansacro

    @Black Pegasus: Well, that’s your narrative. Enjoy it. Not my experience of the world: more sexuality and gender fluidity, in both practice and fantasy, than the binary myth will allow.

  • enlightenone

    @RyanD: “Not to be rude, but isn’t that a bit mean-spirited of you? He stated his very personal reasons on why he identifies as gay and you come to demean him as a sex worker?”

    Not if I view sex work/Gigolo as a positive depending on the person, his qualities, the circumstances, and his attitude/mindset about his services.
    Clearly, we don’t share the same view, I understand, a month ago I somewhat shared your view!

    Sorry for the repeat. Queerty’s Blog platform is pretty outdated!

  • RyanD

    @enlightenone:

    Oh, I see. I took it as a negative. I guess I can imagine being called worse. :P

    I saw you put quotes around “gay” to describe him. Do you doubt he is? Or is it part of the whole career suggestion thing?

    • enlightenone

      @RyanD: “…Do you doubt he is? Or is it part of the whole career suggestion thing?”

      No doubt if “gay” is his chosen psychosociocultural identity. Career-wise it’s about who he market himself. This is a hypothetical since neither you nor I know this guy!

  • demented

    @RyanD: No no no, I meant that his sexual orientation (bi) isn’t the same as his romantic orientation (homo), because he says he sexually desires women but doesn’t emotionally connect with them.

    What is that called? Whatever makes him happiest! And for him, that is gay, because that encompasses the both.

  • Bauhaus

    @RyanD:

    It’s not that I don’t feel anything, it’s that I can’t romantically bond, fall in love, feel passion beyond lust. I can’t build a life with a woman. I’m fulfilled in all respects with a man; physically, mentally, sexually, emotionally, all of my needs are met. That’s why I identify as gay, even though I would be able to have a sexual relationship with a woman.

  • inbama

    A scientific term does not mean that every member of that class is identical – they simply share certain commonalities.

    That you are a unique individual does not mean you rate your own genus, species, gender or sexual orientation.

    This is why we all have names.

  • Virge

    @DjARD & Bauhaus:

    Thanks for the understanding words guys. I’m used to the flack I get for this and honestly expected it but I had to give it an honest try and I won’t stop trying.

    I think it’s funny to read comments here from queerty readers sorting others into nice neat outdated “boxes” based on sexual identity rather than examine the system of boxes that over 60 years old and created by heterosexual people from the times when most scientists and doctors believed any form other than heterosexuality was either a mental disorder or a crime. Knowledge evolves and is never static.

    Up above I said the reasons I casually refer to myself as gay are….
    #1. To avoid tedious conversations and explanations
    #2. Out of total respect for my man and our relationship.

    Now that you’ve read many of the comments directed at me you can understand my reasoning, can’t you?

  • RyanD

    @demented & Bauhaus:

    Ahh, I see. It’s becoming clearer. I’m so used to combining romantic and sexual attraction together.

    So, I guess Bauhaus would be a Kinsey-5? (Sorry for using Kinsey, Virge. :P)

    In this case, if someone were to call Bauhaus bi, would it be inaccurate?
    I know he doesn’t identify as such, but reading his responses you can’t blame anyone for that.

  • MMDD

    The very definition of “bisexual” is “sexually attracted to both men and women;…of, relating to, or characterized by a tendency to direct sexual desire toward both sexes” (Merriam-Webster). Doesn’t say anything about bonding with, being romantically inclined toward, or settling down with either gender. We’re talking specifically about “sexual orientation” here, which is defined as “the direction of a person’s sexual interest, as towards people of the opposite sex, the same sex, or both sexes” (American Heritage). Aspects beyond that go into the territory of like, love, falling in love, committing to someone, etc. But the fact still remains that SEXUAL ORIENTATION is about SEXUAL DESIRE, SEXUAL ATTRACTION, and SEXUAL ACTIVITY.

    For the life of me I still can’t understand why it’s so hard to say, “I’m bisexual but only date [a specific gender]” instead of “I’m gay” (which implies you have a significant LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION toward the opposite sex).

    I know a guy on another forum who occasionally hooks up with guys, but he insists he’s straight because he hooks up with girls much more frequently. (He doesn’t do relationships with either.) And on the other side of the coin, I know a guy on another forum who regularly hooks up with women and has openly talked about how much he thoroughly enjoys having sex with them, yet he insists he’s gay because he “prefers guys, especially for relationships.” I could go on about others, but I think you get my point.

    I realize that sexual orientation/sexual identity is a very personal thing, but altering the definitions of words that already carry clear and specific meanings does NOT make things easier, especially for people who are openly bisexual or gay.

  • RyanD

    @Virge:

    Well, most comments targeted towards you were more out of curiosity than maliciousness, I think.

    I thought it was fascinating and saddening to read of a bi man identifying as gay to avoid problems. Yet, I kind of sympathize a little with MMDD that misidentifying yourself might lead to less conversation surrounding sexuality.

    I know it has helped me out a bit. Truth be told, I’ve always had a bias towards bisexuals, not sure why. I’m beginning to see it differently now.

  • RyanD

    @MMDD:

    I know the feeling. I always thought sexuality was pretty simple. I mean, I know I’m gay because I’m sexually and romantically attracted to only men. So I figured that anything other than that is not gay (my amazing power of deduction :P).

    Then I read stories like Bauhaus that make it a little harder to determine. The little gray area that is hard to figure out. But at the end of the day, who cares what I think, I’m the judge of no one but myself.

  • Mikah

    Sexuality is not black and white.Our homophobic culture represses male sexuality and these men need liberation.

  • jason smeds

    Bisexuality for men is a spectrum. At one end, you have men who are predominantly attracted to women, at the other you have men who are predominantly attracted to men. It is a spectrum within the spectrum of sexuality.

    The reason why the word “bisexual” is not liked is partly because it’s not exact. It doesn’t tell you where on the bisexual spectrum an individual lies.

  • jason smeds

    Here’s another complication with bisexuality in men: most bisexual men identify as straight. This means there’s quite a number of straight-identifying men who are actually bisexual.

    The reason why most bisexual men identify as straight is simple: heterosexual interactions for men are not stigmatized whereas homosexual interactions carry a stigma. The default position for identity is towards that identity which carries no stigma – ie the straight identity.

  • alextranemi

    @MMDD: thank you ! It’s that simple ! And then people are surprised or played the victim when they get called out for plainly lying about their sexuality and/or creating their own definition of what sexuality identity is . No wonder why it creates confusion . Once again there is nothing wrong with bisexuality. It’s the people that go “yeah I like sleeping with men and women ( equally or not it doesn’t matter ) but I’m straight/gay” that make other people raise their eyebrows because it’s just ridiculous ! Furthermore it only adds to the stigma that bisexual people are confused/unstable/unreliable etc…. So it’s not really helping anybody .

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    You make a good point when you say: For the life of me I still can’t understand why it’s so hard to say, “I’m bisexual but only date [a specific gender]” instead of “I’m gay” (which implies you have a significant LACK OF SEXUAL ATTRACTION toward the opposite sex).

    For me, I can’t speak for anybody else, it is my lack of DESIRE, not ATTRACTION. If it happened with a woman, I didn’t stop it, but I didn’t pursue it in the same way I did with a man. Finding women sexually attractive, but not being able to have a relationship with them, created an unsettling dissonance for me.

    In the end, what label I most identify with is gay. If I was with a woman, I would seek out men. I am only complete and able to build a life with a man.

  • inbama

    @alextranemi:
    To the best of my knowledge, there has been no genetic testing or brain scans on bisexuals as there have been on gays and lesbians. There is enough evidence to conclude that sexual orientation is a physical trait. Scans show gay men using both sides of their brains as women do (that old Indian 2-spirit thingy)and lesbians with a masculinized brain architecture.

    I’ve read evolutionary biologists who believe sexual orientation may ultimately be viewed as a gender variation.

    These findings probably makes most gays, lesbians and transgenders too close for comfort.

  • vive

    @MMDD: “The very definition of “bisexual” is “sexually attracted to both men and women… [A]ltering the definitions of words that already carry clear and specific meanings does NOT make things easier, especially for people who are openly bisexual or gay.”

    Exactly. Objectively bisexual people can’t just “choose” to call themselves straight.

    The very decision to call yourself straight if you are bisexual is homophobic. We should stop tolerating the excuses for this behavior.

  • Bauhaus

    @vive:

    What about the decision to call yourself gay, if you are bisexual? Is that the only acceptable way to identify?

    It is for me, because I’m incomplete without a man. If I was with a woman, I would feel the need to seek out a man. Not vice versa, though.

    Maybe the same could be said for many men who consider themselves straight. They are incomplete without a woman, but enjoy sex for pleasure with a man. With the rapidly changing views on SSM, perhaps men will open up more, and the grey area in our sexual lives will be better understood and accepted.

  • furrycelt

    i didn’t want to comment at first cause i know i have a bias as a bisexual male. but who am i kidding? i can comment; i am rife opinion.

    my bias a mistake many (most) of us bisexuals think: “everyone is bi and just doesn’t admit it.”

    but there really are people who are 100% straight and 100% gay. and to deny them that is no different than when monosexuals deny that we bisexuals exist.

    though why do bisexuals so easily assume that everyone is bi to some degree and just live in denial? it is because we bisexuals grow up with our bisexual feelings and receive zero validity from society. so we have this cognitive dissonance to wrestle with, an outward reality: monosexuality and an inward reality: bisexuality. we merge the two by thinking bisexuality is the norm and just never discussed, because that’s the lens we see through.

    having said all that, yeah, i also think there are more bisexual men out there than society is willing to admit.

    to that end, there is more of a push in the bi* community for male recognition:
    look for the book on Amazon
    Recognize: The Voices of Bisexual Men by Editors: Robyn Ochs & H. Sharif Williams
    http://www.amazon.com/Recognize-The-Voices-Bisexual-Men/dp/0965388174

  • RyanD

    @furrycelt:

    Very interesting comment, Furrycelt.
    I guess we can relate with seeing the world through a lens. I only really knew heterosexuality (from my parents and all forms of entertainment and media) and homosexuality (feelings from myself) and so I continued to see the world as that.

    It had never entered my mind that people could be in between, since I couldn’t relate. Sophism, is it?
    But talks like these really open my mind to issues that aren’t mine.

    Thank you for your two cents.

  • John Mulholland

    It’s a cliche, how many of us, gay men, have been hit on by straight men; have had sex with, affairs with (so-called) straight men. But no less true for that. This article does not surprise me. What does, and is disappointing at this moment, is how desperately in the closet these men are. What they are expressing is not bi-sexuality, they are all expressing a very real need to have sex with another man. But their inability to face their homosexuality ties them in emotional knots. Nor will I be surprised to learn that the percentage of gay men to straight men is considerably higher than currently posited.

  • jason smeds

    Many women find it offensive if a man says he is bisexual, and thus capable of deviating away from her. Women have this bigotry against male bisexuality which is based on their fear of losing control over a man’s behavior. Keep in mind that women use consent to control male behavior in an overall sense and not just his sexual behavior.

  • vive

    @Bauhaus, calling yourself gay (though you are technically bisexual) is not offensive in the way it is when bisexual men call themselves straight. The difference is that the latter pass themselves off as members of a privileged group to avoid societal (and their own) homophobia, which you are not doing. There is no such thing as “heterophobia” in our society, so it would be a false equivalence to say it’s the same thing.

    However, some bisexuals may arguably accuse you of bi erasure. They may have a point. I’m not sure I know how to respond to that accusation.

  • Bauhaus

    @vive:

    Yes yes yes. It’s something I despise and find cowardly.

    I’ve not been accused of bi erasure, because I don’t have a choice in which sex to build a life with. It has to be a man.

  • MMDD

    @Bauhaus: “For me, I can’t speak for anybody else, it is my lack of DESIRE, not ATTRACTION. If it happened with a woman, I didn’t stop it, but I didn’t pursue it in the same way I did with a man.”

    I find this very intriguing because attraction doesn’t have to go into the realm of sexual activity (I see men I’m attracted to every day but don’t pursue them). But in order to actually have sex with someone, doesn’t there have to be some of DESIRE for the act to happen in the first place? You have a choice as to whether you have sex with someone, and you know it’s moving in that direction way before it gets that far (meaning, you don’t go from a limp penis to an erection and an orgasm in ten seconds). Also, you use the wording “if it happened…, I didn’t try to stop it,” which implies that the women were pursuing you. So are you saying you were completely passive when you had sexual experiences with women? that they were the aggressors and you just “let them” do things to you without reciprocating (such as letting them give you oral but not doing it to them in return)?

  • MMDD

    @vive: “The very decision to call yourself straight if you are bisexual is homophobic.”
    @Bauhaus: “What about the decision to call yourself gay, if you are bisexual?”

    Again, call me an old-fashioned, radical fool, but what’s wrong with a bisexual calling himself/herself a bisexual???? It’s not like if I as a gay man tell people I’m gay and then expect them to understand all the intricate details of my sexuality.

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    So are you saying you were completely passive when you had sexual experiences with women? that they were the aggressors and you just “let them”?

    Yup, pretty much. I gave out the vibe I was open to it. I’d pursue a man before a woman, which is why I identify as gay.

    • MMDD

      @Bauhaus: Why would you give out the vibe that you were “open to it” if you had no real desire for it? And did you have intercourse with these women?

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: “I gave out the vibe I was open to it.”

      As a GAY male what was/is the motivation, purpose, and value of give out “the vibe,” being used, and objectified by females. What need does this sexual engagement fulfill for you that you don’t get with a male? How old are you?

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    Because I have an attraction, something that stirs in me, moves me sexually, the same as for a guy, but not as intense. I also knew after sex, I was done, which complicated things.

    Yes, I had intercourse with them.

  • Bauhaus

    @enlightenone:

    Wow. I never felt like I was being objectified by females.

    It’s not a need I have, but it is something I respond to, unlike my gay brethren.

    Being with a woman is a completely different experience, and not one I want to go into detail on this site.

    • enlightenone

      @MMDD: You left out “Sex is a way of expressing physically emotional closeness.” For most, “emotional closeness” is expressed by a hug, a kiss on the cheek, an arm draped over a male friend’s shoulder, etc. Sex is normally reserved for a spouse, boyfriend, someone you are dating…

  • inbama

    @MMDD:

    In some studies described in the book “A Second Creation,” scientists used a three-part working definition of sexual orientation:(1) which sex physically aroused you (2) which sex you unconsciously desired (wet dreams) and (3) which sex romantically attracted you.

    Regardless of label, Bauhaus understands his reality well – his same sex attraction is complete and his opposite sex attraction is not.

    No one’s partner really wants to hear about his partner’s attraction to other people or worse yet have it discussed with friends over dinner. When a couple does not share the same sexual orientation, it is even more threatening. relationship, so identifying in accordance with your relationship makes absolute sense.

    I have a friend in a 40 year marriage with a woman who I’m sure if his wife died, his next relationship would be with a man. But they’re happy, they have grandchildren, they dote on each other,and, at least to my knowledge,he’s never acted on his attraction for men. Why would he want to make her worry that she is anything less than the center of his universe?

  • MMDD

    @enlightenone: “I also knew after sex, I was done, which complicated things. Yes, I had intercourse with them.”

    Likely because the women wanted more out of you than just sex, right? And how could you be completely passive yet engage in intercourse with a woman?

    @Bauhaus: “…it is something I respond to, unlike my gay brethren.”

    If you consider yourself to be gay, then why would make this kind of distinction between yourself and gay men?

    By the way, I appreciate your responding to my questions. I’m not trying to badger you or be hostile. I’m genuinely curious. And although you may not feel comfortable sharing it, it might be helpful to know your age. (I’m 49.)

  • MMDD

    @inbama: “Regardless of label, Bauhaus understands his reality well – his same sex attraction is complete and his opposite sex attraction is not.”

    I agree. No argument there. My issue is strictly with the label he chooses, not his reality.

    “No one’s partner really wants to hear about his partner’s attraction to other people…”

    I disagree. My husband and I openly talk about our attraction to other men. It’s not threatening to our relationship because a) just because we’re married doesn’t mean we’re dead and b) we’re both totally devoted to each other sexually. In fact, I think our openness in talking about our attractions is one of the factors that keep things sizzling in the bedroom.

    “I have a friend in a 40 year marriage with a woman who I’m sure if his wife died, his next relationship would be with a man…”

    I have a friend in a similar situation (heck, it may be the same guy, for all we know). He basically leads a double life: In the “real world,” he’s an older straight man devoted to his wife; in the “Internet world,” he lusts after penises.

  • Queer4Life

    I’m gay. I love dick. I’m obsessed with it. But I do from time to time watch straight porn and have straight sex. I am not Bi. I consider myself a 5 on the Kinsey scale but I can slide to a 3. Sexuality is fluid a fact which would be more evident if people didn’t have to hide (and I mean that for both “gay” and “Straight”). Most of the time I’m a 5 but sometimes i’m a 4 and on rare occasions i’m a 3. Sex is more than about procreation and monogamy is a perversion. Sex is a way of expressing physically emotional closeness.

  • MMDD

    @Queer4Life: “I am not Bi…. Monogamy is a perversion.”

    Bullshit to both of those erroneous statements.

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    I make the distinction because it’s something I can’t control, ignore, shut-down, it’s just a part of who I am. It also sets me apart, which disheartens me.

    Of my gay friends, some have experimented briefly with girls. Some have never been with a girl. Most would rather eat dirt than to think of a woman sexually. There’s a sense of revulsion many of them feel, perhaps out of failed attempts to “try” or because they tried gay conversion therapy on themselves, while [email protected] Imagine if straight guys had societal pressure to couple with other men, and we’re expected to “try” with another guy, even if they were completely straight.

    I hope this was helpful. You’ve been very respectful.

  • enlightenone

    @Queer4Life: “Sex is a way of expressing physically emotional closeness.”

    For most, “emotional closeness” is expressed by a hug, a kiss on the cheek, an arm draped over a male friend’s shoulder, etc. Sex is normally reserved for a spouse, boyfriend, someone you are dating to EXPRESS emotional closeness!

    With all the 3’s, 5’s, 4’s, etc., which is it are you Gay or “Queer?” Do you know?

    The Kinsey scale has done nothing, but gave him a rationalization to cheat on his wife with males and keep his “hetero” privileges!!!!!

  • enlightenone

    @MMDD: “I also knew after sex, I was done, which complicated things. Yes, I had intercourse with them.”

    I didn’t say this!!!!!

    Who are you quoting????

    • MMDD

      @enlightenone: Sorry, that was meant for Bauhaus.

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    When I say I was passive, I mean that I was not the party SEEKING an encounter. Once things got rolling…

  • vive

    A lot of Kinsey’s ideas were simplified hypotheses based on anecdotal information. They are for the most part not hard science and in many cases have little empirical correspondence to reality.

    So let’s stop bringing up the “Kinsey Scale” as if it were something real.

    • enlightenone

      @MMDD: “Sorry, that was meant for Bauhaus.” Thanks for clearing that up!

  • enlightenone

    @Bauhaus: “Wow. I never felt like I was being objectified by females.”

    This is the best I can come up with to make any sense of this odd/abnormal sexual behavior since I don’t have the luxury of doing a sexuality assessment on you.

    It’s not a need I have, but it is something I respond to…” Like being a human sex doll.
    “…unlike my gay brethren.” That’s what makes your behavior odd/abnormal!!

    “Being with a woman is a completely different experience…” Of it would be if you ARE “gay”, meaning homosexual?

    “…and not one I want to go into detail on this site.” Which leaves a gaping hole = odd/disturbing sexual behavior. I’m going out on a limp here: Were you sexually abused/traumatized? Perhaps you don’t recall. Not expecting an answer!

    All said, it’s your body to use or be used!!!!

    To respect my time and profession, this is my last comment to you. I’m sure, no loss for you.

  • enlightenone

    @adventuretime: He’s bisexual and you are gay (even if YOU had physical sex w/female)! I’m basing my conviction solely on the narrative you provided and my sense of you from all your comments on the many posts you respond. There is authoritative, clinical research that will clear up your confusion and affirm my statement.

  • enlightenone

    @vive: Totally agree!!!

    Queer4Life said, “I am not Bi. I consider myself a 5 on the Kinsey scale but I can slide to a 3. Sexuality is fluid a fact which would be more evident if people didn’t have to hide (and I mean that for both “gay” and “Straight”). Most of the time I’m a 5 but sometimes i’m a 4 and on rare occasions i’m a 3. Sex is more than about procreation and monogamy is a perversion. Sex is a way of expressing physically emotional closeness.”

    “Kinsey” scale turns out to be more of a curse than a blessing!

  • enlightenone

    @Bauhaus: “…You’ve been very respectful.”

    I hope I was being respectfully more often than not. However, I felt I needed to be more direct/confrontational for you to feel and think about what I was trying to pull from you or for you to sit with even if you chose to reject what I was saying.

    Commenting on blogs has its inherent limitations that can be frustrating especially with this discussion!

    All the best for you. I mean it!

  • Bauhaus

    @enlightenone:

    Sorry if I seemed off putting. I thought it may seem inappropriate to discuss that aspect on this site, as this is a gay one.

    I was not sexually abused.

    As long as I can remember, I’ve been attracted to both sexes, stronger for men.

    I guess my identity as gay, is my social/bonding ability, and that when I’m coupled with a man, I don’t desire a woman, but I still find them stimulating/arousing. I’ve had years long relationships (monogamous) with women, but I always desired men while with them. I’ve always been open about my sexuality with both, since high school (I got caught dry-humping a guy in the locker room). What started off as a nightmare at 16, made me fully embrace both sides of my sexuality early on, and very publicly.

    On being with women, the entire ritual is different. Physically, it’s not just genitalia. Weight, scent, skin, hair, body composition, softness, voice, communication; one either responds, is aroused and wants to engage, or doesn’t. It either stirs lustful feelings, or neutral, friendship feelings. That’s the best I can describe it. Of course, a lot goes into attraction. I’m not attracted to all men, nor am I attracted to all women. Just like anybody else.

    So yes, I am an anomaly as a gay man, no doubt about it. Strictly speaking, I’m a functional bi, but I can’t be in a relationship with a woman, which is why I eschew using the bi label.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: Can’t speak for others, but you could have saved me lots of typing if THIS was your initial comment, unless you needed to be challenged, pushed, confronted? You are bisexual orientated and you socially identify as gay w/both emotional/physical NEEDS fulfilled by a MAN! Bisexually manifest differently for many males and females. How you stay true to your sexual orientation while respecting your partner male or female is the ultimate challenge for the bisexual in a primarily heterosexually oriented American society! My personal suggestion: If you need to be with a females for the DESIRES you listed in your comment, either indulge between relationships or be with another bisexual who is willing to have an “open” relationship. Doesn’t work so well with a “straight” partner and rarely with a gay man who needs sexual monogamy to feel secure in a committed relationship! PEACE!!!

  • vive

    @enlightenone: “Doesn’t work so well with a “straight” partner and rarely with a gay man who needs sexual monogamy to feel secure in a committed relationship!”

    Why do you say gay men who want sexual monogamy are rare? This keeps being repeated as if it were common knowledge, but I have yet to meet any gay man who doesn’t want his partner to be monogamous when in a relationship (or at least pretend to be), unless they had been together for years and years. Gay men who are not in a relationship are of course a different story.

    • enlightenone

      @vive: “Why do you say gay men who want sexual monogamy are rare?”

      I didn’t say that! Re-read the whole comment again, please.

  • ButtAdmirer

    The Klein Sexual Orientation Grid (KSOG) will very much explain All this! Klein has passed away but his Organization is still available last I Checked! The Test shows your Orientation Past and Current! A lot of research went into the Test and other Works by Klein! There is a lot of controversy when a person is Bisexual or Pansexual(Which is more descriptive!)! It seems to me a lot of Gay people seem to Denigh that Pansexual people exist! But they are welcomed to their Opinion! I know who I am after studying Myself a Lifetime!

    • enlightenone

      @ButtAdmirer: From “buttadmirer” to footadmirer, I get it, not a problem for this “lifetime” Gay male!

  • Bauhaus

    @ButtAdmirer:

    I didn’t know a lot of gay people seem to deny pansexual exist. I’m going to look into Klein, because I could fall onto the genderless, as to whom I’m attracted to.

    • enlightenone

      “…Because I could fall onto the genderless, as to whom I’m attracted to.”

      Your last comment in response to mine was so eloquent and clear! I hope you don’t confuse yourself by reading “Klein.” There’s no such psychological state as “genderless,” unless you, yourself have some psychological DISORDER. Re-read your comment about YOURSELF regarding how you see and experience yourself with both MALE and FEMALES. Not “genderLESS!”

  • Bauhaus

    @enlightenone:

    Oops, I meant gender non-conformity, and it doesn’t look like something I relate to. Thanks.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: “…doesn’t look like…” ISN’T! You’re welcome.

    • MMDD

      @Bauhaus: “I can’t be in a relationship with a woman, which is why I eschew using the bi label.”

      Late replying here. Sorry to be picky, but in the very same post you say you’ve had years-long relationships with women, so apparently you can…and there had to be something to them in order for them to last as long as they did. Have you ever had any years-long relationships with men?

  • MMDD

    @Bauhaus: “I make the distinction because it’s something I can’t control, ignore, shut-down, it’s just a part of who I am. It also sets me apart, which disheartens me.”

    There’s no reason for you to be disheartened about who you are and how your attractions play out. You are bisexual by nature, and that’s the only thing that “sets you apart” from gay men.

    “Of my gay friends, some have experimented briefly with girls. Some have never been with a girl. Most would rather eat dirt than to think of a woman sexually. There’s a sense of revulsion many of them feel, perhaps out of failed attempts to ‘try’ or because they tried gay conversion therapy on themselves, while [email protected] Imagine if straight guys had societal pressure to couple with other men, and we’re expected to ‘try’ with another guy, even if they were completely straight.”

    Exactly. The big difference is society almost never pressures straight men to “try” men, but from the moment we are born, we gay men are encouraged to be attracted to, pursue, and marry women. And then when we acknowledge our lack of attraction to women and our significant attraction to men, we get told we’re sinners, unnatural, disgusting, etc. Yeah…it can take a toll on you. It’s not easy being a gay man, even in today’s “open” society.

    I’ve never been with a woman and honestly have absolutely zero desire to do so. Heterosexual intercourse is something I’m curious about, mostly because of how I wonder it would feel, but I think I could only go there if I were with an FTM (female to male) who still had a functioning vagina…and even then I don’t know how that would play out. The “I’d rather eat dirt” example is pretty extreme, but I can sort of relate to the response. I experienced significantly more pressure to have sex with women AFTER I came out as gay. Go figure.

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    Thanks for the thoughtful response!

    As to being with women, I was sexually satisfied, but I would notice, desire, fantasize about, want men. I don’t have the same yearnings about women, when I’m with a man. I’m complete. I get on very well with women, am sexually compatible, but I don’t bond beyond sex.

    Yeah, I’ve had years long relationships with men.

    I don’t know what your situation is, but some of my gay friends have been able to have sex with women, when there are two men involved. They had wanted to try, see what it’s like, but couldn’t function. Having another man with them facilitated, and made the experience pleasurable.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: Why did your GAY friends want to try???? Are your friends teenagers or trying to go “straight?” Either vagina gets you horny or it doesn’t. I question this self-torture and manipulation to do a female.I also question the psyche of a “woman/female” who would indulge them. It’s not like they want to be STAIGHT4PAY for a few hundred bucks????

  • Bauhaus

    @enlightenone:

    To see what it was like. They weren’t sexually interested in women at all, never did it again. Believe me, plenty of women will have sex with gay men. Plenty. There was no manipulation, it was purely sexual experimentation. They were all adults.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: Next time, tell them a frozen chocolate covered banana would be more satisfying, even for white guys who PREFER “no Blacks!”

  • Bauhaus

    @enlightenone:

    Forget them; I can think of a few things I’d like to do with that suggestion, though!

    • MMDD

      @Bauhaus: “As to being with women, I was sexually satisfied, but I would notice, desire, fantasize about, want men. I don’t have the same yearnings about women, when I’m with a man. I’m complete. I get on very well with women, am sexually compatible, but I don’t bond beyond sex. Yeah, I’ve had years long relationships with men.”

      Thanks for your response. Are you currently in a relationship now? And if a woman approached you today and wanted to have sex with you, would you do it?

      “I don’t know what your situation is, but some of my gay friends have been able to have sex with women, when there are two men involved. They had wanted to try, see what it’s like, but couldn’t function. Having another man with them facilitated, and made the experience pleasurable.”

      A three-way experience isn’t something I would even consider with two other men, much less with another man and a woman. For me, I would find it insulting that there would need to be someone else there besides me in order for my sexual partner to be turned on. He either wants me, or he doesn’t. Also, I’m the kind of guy who wants to focus all my attention on one partner.

  • MMDD

    @Bauhaus: “Believe me, plenty of women will have sex with gay men. Plenty.”

    Yep. There’s no shortage of women out there who think they will be the special lady who “turns” a gay man to “the other side.” And it’s a huge ego boost to the woman when she successfully beds a gay man. I knew of a woman on another forum (a real nasty, homophobic bitch) who openly bragged about how “most gay men” were attracted to her and how she had “turned” more than one gay man to the straight side. (That wasn’t true, of course. The guys she “turned” were very likely already aware of their own bisexuality.)

  • Bauhaus

    @MMDD:

    Yeah, I’m in a relationship. Nah, I wouldn’t have sex with a woman today, not while I’m with my man. I don’t desire it in an, “itch that needs to be scratched” way. Now, if I was with a woman, I’d be crawling out of my skin needing a man. I’d be plotting, noticing every guy on the street…

    Bi women are better to have sex with, more open, understanding, and not interested in the challenge of “turning” you, or having you as a trophy. Three-way is not for everyone, not for me, I can’t function, but for some, it can facilitate what would otherwise be impossible and not pleasurable. I would only recommend this for guys with intense curiosity about experiencing sex with a women, just for the experience.

    • enlightenone

      @Bauhaus: Some itches shouldn’t be scratched, because they bleed! Think before you (Bi or not) or your curious GAY friends act.

  • alwar

    this article is a lie. those men are not straight. gay porn wouldn’t turn me on even the slightest, and i would be extremely disgusted to touch another mans penis.

  • martinbakman

    What is really fascinating to me is how many lesbians get off on gay porn.

    As far as straight guys jacking off to gay porn, perhaps it is a fetish, in that it seems “real dirty” to these guys, and for some guys that is all it takes.

  • paul747

    @alwar: Just because you don’t do it doesn’t mean other don’t. how close minded can people get

  • ashton7326

    so are gay men more straight than you think . NO if there gay there gay if they desire men and women there bi . same goes for women . were born with our sexuality its in our brains determined at birth . no straight man is going to have sex with a man under normal circumstances nor would a gay man with a woman .Yes its possible if the persons were still hiding there sexuality or they are Bisexual

  • MMDD

    @ashton7326: “no straight man is going to have sex with a man under normal circumstances nor would a gay man with a woman.”

    Yes, but that’s a little too black and white. Let’s face it: Society doesn’t encourage men to have sex with other men, yet men of all orientations are constantly encouraged to have sex with women. So it makes sense that some gay men are going to have sex with women before they fully come to terms with their own sexuality. I never needed to do that myself–have always been strictly dickly–but others have taken a different journey.

    • enlightenone

      @MMDD: “…but others have taken a different journey.”

      But let’s not call it a journey, but rather a trip! Spread the word…

  • ashton7326

    @MMDD</[email protected]MMDD: thanks for your response ,I still say these men are bisexual and not straight men .I may be looking at it from my own perspective as i have no desire what so ever to be with a man not the slightest . But the other guy who knows . I’m done

  • paul747

    The writer of this article is a poor editor and not good at his job.
    He showed a few comments made by these men but he forgot to mention the most important thing, to show the sites where men were asked these questions, because it seems these comments were picked, but if you look at all the men’s answers in these social media sites where they were asked if they like gay porn, or like to experiment etc, you will see that at least 40% of the men say yes in every one of the websites.

  • Sluggo2007

    I have NEVER had a problem getting straight guys into my bed. NEVER.

  • JEZ8A

    Looking at photos of naked men does not make you gay. I have looked at gay porn but I am straight.

  • enlightenone

    @JEZ8A: “Looking at photos of naked men does not make you gay. I have looked at gay porn but I am straight.”

    Make a valuable contribution to this discussion, since rarely do folks on here identity themselves as “straight;” why do you view homosexual sex and/or what do you get out of it? Do tell. Take as many words as you need, just write in short paragraphs for our reading pleasure – pun somewhat intented!!!

  • ReycerX

    I find it extremely sad that having sex or making love has to have all the restrictions or categories. I tell my male friends all the time to forget and not to follow any rules society, family and friends has limited them to. Make up your own for satisfaction when you’re have sex. If you’re a “straight” man and enjoy or prefer another man for a BJ…there is nothing wrong with that. If you’re a “gay” bottom and enjoy going down on women…there is nothing odd about that. 99.9% of the men I’ve been with during my life have been, married to a woman, have a girl friend and/or enjoy being with women and treating men the same way.

    So if you enjoy what turns you on and your sexual desires don’t follow the script of what society says, there’s nothing wrong with having your own combination of sexual partners and use protection. It’s time for people to be sexually liberated again. No two “straight” men want to get off the same way. One of them might like their salad tossed…and the same with every person. Which is why sexual partners need to communicate with each other so everybody get’s off.

  • ReycerX

    @Sluggo2007: Good for you, I’m the same way!

  • Charles

    @demented: It’s a bit presusmtious of you to say that, so people just have never been attracted to the same or opposite sex.

    @adventuretime: I would agree with you to an extent because the thing is what these guys are describing isn’t as ambiguous as the examples you gave. They are giving pretty straight forward examples of bisexuality.

  • Charles

    @adventuretime

    Also as for your examples a lot of them would just be bi. Sexuality just says the sex that arouses you relative to your own, not how you like it.

  • Charles

    I understand that sexuality can be complex and gray but these guys are bi.

    I’m usually one to take a person’s word for it when they label themselves. I even give a little leeway for actions that are slightly contrary(like G4P, or merely being with one purely of philological arousal)

    But when someone says there sexuality is X and does something contrary and beyond leeway then they are just in denial. These guys are closted bisexuals. It’s really that simple.

    They are aroused by both women and men sexually. Where is the ambiguity in this?

  • Charles

    @ReycerX: He’s the thing though. The problem isn’t labels or “rules” people just need to get a clue and use them right.

    If a gay guy likes going down on women then he’s not really that gay, same for the straight guy. It’s not wrong to have a non binary sexuality, but then why identify as such?

    It’s not like straight guys have sex with women because they’e “supposed to” it’s just what they like, but then if they find something contrary to that identy, oh well they aren’t straight.

    Because ya know, bisexuality exists.

  • Charles

    @vive: I find the kinsey scale can be accurate for certain people.

  • Charles

    @Jacob23: That sounds like spliting hairs, based on what I’ve seen “sexuality” and “sexual orientation” are synonymous

  • Charles

    @MMDD:

    ” I see things in porn I have no interest in doing in my personal life (for example, gloryhole sex), yet I can still find that exciting to watch.”

    I don’t buy that.

    If you are aroused by women getting off that implies some sort of non homosexuality in you. Just because you don’t want to actually join in doesn’t mean the aforementioned statement isn’t true.

    @Merv: The problem with that comparison is that straight porn still has men in it so it’s not like it’s weird for a gay guy to watch

    @MrNiceGuy: That would be nice and all if it were true, These guys aren’t experiencing a “break” in their sexuality. This is a long standing pattern that these guys have.

  • Charles

    @Virge: You know there is such a thing as bisexual homoromatic right?

    That’s what you are. It’s not that hard to understand. That’s different than gay ya know. But I understand why you would lie to people about it. People are curious/bigoted. So making things easier makes sense.

  • wildstarvingwolf

    @DjARD: I’m probably 90% gay (because I fantasize about women just occasionally, but lean more towards men), but I have to totally agree with you on this one.

    I find it extremely hard to believe that any of these guys are as straight as they claim to be. Straight guys are by definition not attracted to men (or their dicks). If you want to suck dick because it turns you on, I think that doesn’t make you straight anymore. It probably means you’re bisexual at least.

    I do believe that there are a huge amount of men that are “closet” bisexuals. It’s so common that I have no doubts in my mind at all. I can easily name at least 100 married guys with kids that have secretly asked me out.

    P.S. by the way, I’m one of those dudes that hate anal sex. I can do it if someone wants me to, yeah, but I still don’t understand how those size queens on porn films have such a great time taking it. Let’s face it, it’s painful as f*ck! and you still have to pretend you’re having such an awesome time *slaps forehead*

  • WeShouldAllBeLoved

    @Jason Smeds

    In this world long ago yes Jesus or this so called God yes he preached yes that’s true, but way back then when he was alive he did not say anything about same sex being together at all he didn’t even write it down at all, when this God or jesus person died, his disciples decided to create that Bible thing, Jesus or God didn’t tell them to, and a lot of the stuff that’s in it is complete BS, GOD _ JESUS didn’t say write man should not lie with man, those were the disciples that wrote every word that’s in it, things they done things they tried things they did like things they didnt like and felt was wrong they put that bs in there, and for one thing if this God did not like gays bis trans or any of these other genders out there he would have not created them and would of gotten rid of them, we are all made in the image of god wants us to look like and he knows everything about us, even before we do them` and the reason why he made gays bis trans in all other genders is to keep this planet from over populating, if this world was all straight this world would be at its end in know time;

  • Daniepwils

    I am gay, I watch straight and lesbian porn from time to time. Does that make me straight? NO.

    I have played around with married couples (man and a woman) does that make me straight/bisexual? NO.

    Sexuality is fluid. But that doesn’t mean you can’t “identify” as one of the other…

  • enlightenone

    @Daniepwils: “I have played around with married couples (man and a woman) does that make me straight/bisexual? NO.

    …Makes you a GAY whore used as an object!

  • kcbg

    I am not attracted to men, and I’ve never seen a guy I thought was hot.

    At the same time, I think giving head would be hot and I watch porn of guys giving head a lot.

    I don’t want to kiss or cuddle or date any guys, just get them off.

    Does this make me bisexual? I don’t think so. I’m not sure that I’m 100% heterosexual, but I’d feel dishonest telling someone else I was bi.

  • jcmofungi

    I am straight but enjoy when a woman dominates me and ‘forces’ me to take another man inside me. I enjoy the feeling being used like a bitch and the fact having a man penetrate me forcefully while a woman is humiliating me, it is enjoyable. I enjoy anal stimulation and have far more intense orgasms that way. I enjoy feeling a penis thrust into me hard and fast and feeling a man orgasm the throbbing the warmth, it beats when the lady straps one on and dominates me. I enjoy the feeling even though I have 0 sexual or romantic attraction to men. And my lady knows i enjoy the dirty feeling of enjoying anal sex on the receiving end. But it is not something inwould seek or pursue on my own. Now the guys that have penetrated me were also banging the ladies i have done this with. I enjoy raunchy nasty fun and inenjoy ladies who are not afraid to enjoy sex, tonexplore things to enjoy multiple men at once. But hey I have always been more attracted to kinky freaky semi-slutty women and am a bit of a slut of a man myself.

  • Comfy

    Since there are so many people arguing because they are so uninformed and are simply stating their opinions rather than actual insight, lets just make it clear that sexuality has little to do with anything romantically. The fact that any of you force the idea that because you are sexually attracted to both genders but you only wish to be in a relationship with one you must be gay or as straight proves that you understand little. Attraction isnt even exclusively sexual or romantic either. Sensual attraction is also something society can’t seem to acknowledge the existence of. Sensual attraction is the desire to interact with others in a tactile, non-sexual way. This IS prevelant in romantic attraction but it is also like so in platonic relationships. Which pisses me off when society says that straight men cant cuddle with people of the same sex because theyll come off as gay. All humans desire sensual activities, whether it be with their mothers or fathers during the first few years of their life, or whether it’s with a random person they’ve never met before, just like a dog loves to be petted and rubbed. Back to sexual and romantic attractions, there are so many kinds that researchers arent able to list them all as of yet, but they have come up with some categories that many can identify as. Sexualities: asexuality is no attraction to any gender. Bisexuality is attraction to both males and females, heterosexuality is attraction to the opposite gender, homosexuality is attraction to the same gender, pansexuality is attraction to all genders, polysexuality is attraction to multiple but not all genders, gray-sexuals are individuals that do not often feel attraction. You may add demi- to the front of a sexuality to say that an emotional bond, such as platonic needs to be formed in order for attraction to occur to the gender(s). ALL of these apply to romantic attractions as well. Aromantic, biromantic, homoromantic, heteroromantic, panromantic, polyromantic, etc. Also, a person can have any of the sexualities and also have any of the romantic identifications. Therefore a bi-sexual can be homoromantic meaning they are attracted to both male and female genders but are only capabled of romantic relationships with the same gender. Dont call them gay because they cant be in a romantic relationship with the opposite gender. Btw, the terms straight and gay are not just sexual. Straight applies to heterosexual who are also heteroromantic and gay applies to homosexuals who are also homoromantic. Asexuals, however can call themselves gay or straight if they are homoromantic or heteromantic, as there are no discrepencies between what genders they are attracted to. Oh but don’t forget the main and most important point, everybody loves to cuddle, no matter who they do it with. And since i know this might be a possibility, i am gay so in no way am i doing this to justify identifying myself as something so complicated, which wouldnt be a problem in the first place if judgmental people didnt retort against information for that very reason.

  • ashton7326

    @Steve318: Kinsey was a fraud

  • ashton7326

    @Sluggo2007: I smell BS

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