Another awards show, another two (plus) hours mostly wasted. Last night’s Emmy Awards were the first time the show has been produced on a Monday since the ’70s, and that may be the most remarkable aspect of the night. This was in part due to the MTV Video Music Awards taking place on Sunday (see the good, bad and the ugly from that night here).
But hey, there’s always room to cheer and jeer. So here are the best and worst from the 2014 Emmys.
Best: Amy Poehler was first to present, and made us laugh right off the bat by telling the crowd she was there to honor the “best on-screen orgasm in a Civil War reenactment.”
Worst: Amy’s one joke was funnier than anything from Seth Meyer’s incredibly long opening monologue, which included a remark about how MTV doesn’t play music videos anymore. Zing.
Best: Jimmy Kimmel’s takedown of Matthew McConaughey. “He doesn’t even own a television. I happen to know for a fact that he traded it for a conch shell full of weed…You just won the Oscar like five months ago, how many of your speeches are we supposed to sit through?”
Best: On the subject of weed, Sarah Silverman showed off her hash oil vape pen at the pre show. Don’t ask what’s in her purse if you aren’t ready for the answer.
Best: Lena Dunham and Sarah Paulson tied for the award for most “Huhh??” outfit. Which, to be honest, we’re sorta into.
Best: Allison Janney won an award for a show we haven’t seen called Mom, but when she gets an award it’s always a good thing, because she’s Allison Janney and one time she performed The Jackal on West Wing.
Best: This Billy on the Street segment:
Best: Bryan Cranston spontaneously (OK, it looks rehearsed to high heaven but who cares?) planting a giant kiss on Julia Louis-Dreyfus when she won for her performance in Veep.
Worst: Stephen Colbert’s argument with his imaginary friend. We’re guessing this one must have killed in rehearsal.
Worst: Ryan Muphy’s scowl when he realized he didn’t win best director for The Normal Heart.
Best: The bromance of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. With this much on-screen chemistry, these two should really star in a show together or something.
Worst: Whatever it was that Weird Al was doing up on stage, proving that comebacks can’t last forever.
Best: The standing ovation when The Normal Heart won for best TV movie. And Ryan got to have his Emmy moment, so good for him.
Worst: Sophia Vergara being asked by the Television Academy president to step onto a revolving pedestal. She looked like she was up for auction.
Best: Billy Crystal’s tear-jerking and heartfelt tribute to Robin Williams:
Worst: Julia Roberts slumming it in TV land. When she presented the award for Best Actor in a Drama Series, it appeared that she was either drunk or had been informed she’d be presenting moments before walking on stage. She stumbled, slurred and mostly just made us uncomfortable.