The Best And (Mostly) Worst Moments From The 2014 Emmy Awards

Another awards show, another two (plus) hours mostly wasted. Last night’s Emmy Awards were the first time the show has been produced on a Monday since the ’70s, and that may be the most remarkable aspect of the night. This was in part due to the MTV Video Music Awards taking place on Sunday (see the good, bad and the ugly from that night here).

But hey, there’s always room to cheer and jeer. So here are the best and worst from the 2014 Emmys.

Best: Amy Poehler was first to present, and made us laugh right off the bat by telling the crowd she was there to honor the “best on-screen orgasm in a Civil War reenactment.”

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Worst: Amy’s one joke was funnier than anything from Seth Meyer’s incredibly long opening monologue, which included a remark about how MTV doesn’t play music videos anymore. Zing.

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Best: Jimmy Kimmel’s takedown of Matthew McConaughey. “He doesn’t even own a television. I happen to know for a fact that he traded it for a conch shell full of weed…You just won the Oscar like five months ago, how many of your speeches are we supposed to sit through?”

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Best: On the subject of weed, Sarah Silverman showed off her hash oil vape pen at the pre show. Don’t ask what’s in her purse if you aren’t ready for the answer.


Best: Lena Dunham and Sarah Paulson tied for the award for most “Huhh??” outfit. Which, to be honest, we’re sorta into.

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Best: Allison Janney won an award for a show we haven’t seen called Mom, but when she gets an award it’s always a good thing, because she’s Allison Janney and one time she performed The Jackal on West Wing.

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Best: This Billy on the Street segment:

Best: Bryan Cranston spontaneously (OK, it looks rehearsed to high heaven but who cares?) planting a giant kiss on Julia Louis-Dreyfus when she won for her performance in Veep.

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Worst: Stephen Colbert’s argument with his imaginary friend. We’re guessing this one must have killed in rehearsal.

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Worst: Ryan Muphy’s scowl when he realized he didn’t win best director for The Normal Heart.

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Best: The bromance of Matthew McConaughey and Woody Harrelson. With this much on-screen chemistry, these two should really star in a show together or something.

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Worst: Whatever it was that Weird Al was doing up on stage, proving that comebacks can’t last forever.

Screen Shot 2014-08-26 at 10.09.23 AMBest: The standing ovation when The Normal Heart won for best TV movie. And Ryan got to have his Emmy moment, so good for him.

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Worst: Sophia Vergara being asked by the Television Academy president to step onto a revolving pedestal. She looked like she was up for auction.

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Best: Billy Crystal’s tear-jerking and heartfelt tribute to Robin Williams:

Worst: Julia Roberts slumming it in TV land. When she presented the award for Best Actor in a Drama Series, it appeared that she was either drunk or had been informed she’d be presenting moments before walking on stage. She stumbled, slurred and mostly just made us uncomfortable.

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  • Cam

    4th picture down should be titled “Anorexia in a Red Dress”

  • tricky ricky

    once again a gay man won an emmy for playing a straight man. will this madness never end?

  • barkomatic

    @tricky ricky: Agreed. You can find gay men willing to play straight at any Mormon church.

  • DDstar1me

    Chile, I can’t wait for fashion police tonight. Joan is about to let these bitches have it.

  • RIGay

    You forgot the WRETCHED Andy Samburg schtick. I was pleading with him to PLEASE GET OFF THE STAGE, and then he tried to work into the presenter following what ever that was he did in the Al Yankovic number. Also, Aaron Paul… wow… what a space shot; watching his acceptance speech I could only have the impression that he was tweaking out on something.

  • Blackceo


    OMG and I can’t believe Aaron Paul is engaged to my lady female crush Robin Wright. I have such a Love Jones for that woman that I could switch teams for her. Absolutely love her character on House of Cards. Not sure how those two hooked up, but I’m jealous.

  • Alan down in Florida

    I assume the comment of the gay man winning for playing straight refers to Jim Parsons. A) Jim Parson’s character Dr. Sheldon Cooper does not identify as straight. It would never occur to him to have a sexual identity inasmuch as he considers himself to be more evolved than the average earthling. That’s why his relation with Amy is so funny because it is more a reflection of Sheldon conforming to societal norms than anything that has to do with sexuality. B) That notwithstanding we should be happy when a gay man (or woman) wins an award for portraying a straight man. The whole premise of staying in the closet in Hollywood is supposedly that gay actors are not credible in playing heterosexuals – that the audience will not accept them. This is the same audience that accepts Eric Stonestreet playing gay on Modern Family – the 5 time Emmy winner for best Comedy – while gay Jessie Tyler Ferguson is overlooked because a gay actor should be able to play gay naturally.

    In addition, I think Jim Parsons was honestly amazed that he had won again in the face of the toughest competition of the night and was very gracious in his acceptance speech. Did he win because it was one of the few network shows nominated and the networks dominate the academy membership? Or was it a reward for basically carrying the highest rated show on television on his shoulders? Not to diminish the remainder of the cast but there is no Big Bang Theory without him. And he makes me laugh a lot. It may be on the page but his performance is flawless.

  • Perfida Limpin

    Julia Roberts’ office attire disguised as an Emmy dress, a PSA for neurofibromatosis. Her stylist must hate her. Or she was probably drunk – again – when she picked it.

  • trelin

    @Cam: Giuliana Rancic is a very vocal LGBT advocate, as well as a breast cancer survivor. Learn before you insult.

  • stranded

    THis shit was awful. I had to change the channel several times out of boredom or embarrassment for lame banter and jokes. The wins were predictable too, Amazing Race, Jim Parsons, Modern Family winning the comedy awards, Breaking Bad winning the dramas.

  • lykeitiz

    @Blackceo: Don’t know why you think that, but Aaron Paul is not engaged to Robin Wright. His fiancé’ is Lauren Parsekian, founder of the “Kind Campaign”. He thanked her during his speech and mentioned her project.

  • jfabz

    @lykeitiz: Aaron Paul is married to Lauren Parsekian.

  • Cam

    @trelin: said… “@Cam: Giuliana Rancic is a very vocal LGBT advocate, as well as a breast cancer survivor. Learn before you insult.”

    Actually she was the woman whose doctor told her she needed to gain weight to get pregnant and she wouldn’t. Additionally, NOTHING in your post had anything to do with my comment about her emaciated frame. She has been that thin for years.

    So here is a thought. Learn before you bitch.

  • robho3


    OMG YES.. The fashion was hideous. The only dress worth mentioning was Allison Jaffey’s

  • Blackceo

    @lykeitiz: oops you guys are right. It’s Ben Foster that Robin Wright is engaged to. I mistook him for Aaron Paul. I never watched Breaking Bad and for some reason I saw him and thought Ben Foster. My bad. My overall sentiment is still the same tho about she and Ben Foster.

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