What is the hetero equivalent to a leather daddy?
Is there such thing as a straight twink?
And what’s the difference between a pocket gay and a short guy, anyway?
If these questions have ever kept you up at night, as they have us (at least to write this post), then you may find the following list of terms helpful.
Scroll down for definitions of various types of gay men and their non-gay counterparts.
Twink vs. Emo
Not a boy, not yet a man, a twink is a youthful homosexual male, usually between the ages of 18-22, who is smooth-bodied and a slight, puerile build. He wears tight-fitting clothes from H&M, works at the mall, and is, of course, a bottom.
Emo
An emo is an overly sensitive straight male, usually between the ages of 18-22, who sports a lip ring, an androgynous haircut, and usually dresses in all black as an outward reflection of his internal angst. He wears tight-fitting clothes from Hot Topic, works at the mall, and is likely a virgin.
Gym Bunny vs. Jock
Gym Bunny
A gym bunny is a gay guy who spends an obsessive amount of time working out not for health purposes, but because he likes to flaunt his ripped body when he goes clubbing. His wardrobe contains no less than 20 different muscle shirts and he can often be seen snapping selfies in the mirror between reps, which he then posts to his Instagram page.
Jock
A jock is a straight guy who likes to work out, play sports, and call other guys “bro.” Like a gym bunny, his wardrobe contains no less than 20 different muscle shirts and he can often be seen snapping selfies in the mirror between reps, which he then sends to his girlfriend because he doesn’t know about Instagram quite yet.
Pocket Gay vs. Short Guy
Pocket Gay
Petite and small in stature, a pocket gay is a travel-sized homosexual who stands under 5’7, even in shoes, and is often highly sought after the moment he steps into a gay bar.
Short guy
Petite and small in stature, a short guy stands under 5’7, even in shoes, and is overlooked or assumed to be gay when he steps into a straight bar.
Bitchy Queen vs. Hipster
Bitchy Queen
A bitchy queen is a stereotypically flamboyant gay guy who lacks any semblance of self-awareness and is difficult be around for more than five minutes unless you, too, are a bitchy queen (the cat fights are fabulous). He is loud, squeals phrases like “Omigawd!” and “Gurl, that’s fierce!”, wears designer everything (jeans, shoes, sunglasses, underwear), loves EDM, and drinks Stoli cosmos with a raised pinkie and lots of attitude.
Hipster
At first glance, the hipster may seem like the antithesis of a bitchy queen, but he is actually very similar. He may not sport the designer clothes (labels are way too mainstream for him), but he is equally lacking in self-awareness and is not easy to be around for more than five minutes. Instead of EDM, he listens to Lana Del Rey on his suitcase record player be bought for $250 at Urban Outfitters. And instead of Stoli cosmos, he drinks PBR.
Self-hating Gay vs. Curmudgeon
Self-hating gay
Self-hating gays can often be seen scowling at dinner parties, grumbling about how much the world sucks, and blaming everyone else for their misery. Their sole mission in life is to drag everyone else down into the mud along with them. And when that doesn’t work, they just get more drunk and bitch about how they don’t give a shit if gay marriage is made legal because it’s not like they want to get married anyway, before slinging their albatross over the chip on their shoulder and making the lonely trek home.
Curmudgeon
A surly straight guy who likes to pout and still hasn’t gotten over that girlfriend who jilted him two years ago.
Leather Daddy vs. Sugar Daddy
Leather Daddy
A leather daddy is an older gay gentleman, usually between 35-55, who likes to dominate his younger male lovers (at least until he is revealed to be a raging bottom). His bedroom closet has no shortage of whips, crops, chains, and paddles. He’s kinky. He’s rough. He’s hot. He’ll do you hard, and when he’s done he’ll wrap up in his big, bulging arms and cuddle you like a little baby.
Sugar Daddy
A sugar daddy is an older heterosexual man, usually between 50-70 years of age, who drives an expensive car, thinks ill-fitting Ralph Lauren and Tommy Bahama outfits are fashionable, and likes to wine and dine his 20-something girlfriends, showering them with lavish gifts and jewelry in exchange for sex.
Related stories:
Ten Forgotten Gay Slang Words That Deserve To Be Resurrected
A Handy Glossary Of Gay Terms For The Well-Meaning Hetty
Watch What Happens When Straight Male Friends See Each Other Naked For The First Time
Graham Gremore is a columnist and contributor for Queerty and Life of the Law. Follow him on Facebook and Twitter.
Xzamilio
Bitchy queens ruin it for feminine gay men…
HijodeGagos
Just a note:
‘Puerile’ is an adjective referring to a person’s behavior. It means childish, juvenile, or immature. It’s not really being used correctly in this context. A person can be puerile, their physical stature cannot.
onthemark
WTF. Can someone recommend a GAY site where they are not obsessed with straight men?
Xzamilio
@onthemark: AfterEllen lol
Arconcyyon
Sorry is sorry please is sorry ! the classif and twinks Daddies …. ilary ilary ….the boy mem photto ginásio colelho vs. jock the brazil brazzilian miss boy game miss ilary tour shoop home IGUATEMI Single .
Aromaeus
Emo kids are usually bi/gay/lesbian it’s goths who are usually straight. Get your facts straight Queerty :/
KiDAciDic
Huh???? What is this list??? None of the terms for straight guys are exclusively based on sexuality. A gay male can be emo, a hipster, a curmudgeon etc. Ive never heard the term “gym bunny” used as a legitimate category; I mean any gay app has a “jock” or “muscle” option, not to mention gym bunny implies getting your exercise primarily from a gym and not diverse outdoor activities. Its like this list was made by someone’s out of touch straight friend who has zero firsthand experience with gay male culture. I mean this isnt life or death material but very weird understanding for a site dedicated to gay subject matter.
jwtraveler
@Arconcyyon: I’ve been trying to figure out what language you write in, but now I’m starting to think it’s a new form of poetry.
jockjack5
@onthemark:
Yes indeed.
You are totally “on the mark” in your observation about Queerty’s obsession with straight men.
Merv
It was worth it just for the picture of Rupert Everett next to self-hating gay.
onthemark
@jockjack5: Queerty’s New Year’s Resolution: “I will not obsess about straight guys.”
Written in chalk 100 times, like Bart Simpson!
jason smeds
Straight male bears are extremely sexy. They exude a rawness that gay male bears don’t. I often lurk around them to see if they’ll bat their eyelids my way.
Milton Appleby
Labels, when you can’t see people as individuals and need to put them in a box.