As we’ve covered before, some gays aren’t fans of the word “queer”… and some queer folk aren’t so hot about the word “gay.” The two words aren’t as synonymous as homophobes would have you believe, but that hasn’t stopped those bullies from slinging both words as slurs.
Twitter user @CoolRiderr recently sparked a debate over the two terms on Twitter, tweeting on January 5, “Quit calling gay people queer, we don’t like it.”
Related: 27 thought-provoking tweets highlighting some of the worst LGBTQ microaggressions
Television writer Bryan Fuller, mastermind of the TV shows Pushing Daisies and Hannibal, was one of the famous figures who responded. “Queer is an inclusive word—that is the reason toxic white gay jocks don’t like it,” Fuller tweeted (in all caps, for emphasis).
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Preston Mitchum, Director of Advocacy and Government Affairs at The Trevor Project, observed that the “we” in @CoolRiderr’s post “is doing a lot of work.”
And singer-songwriter Simon Curtis tweeted, “A lot of us enjoy being as inclusive as possible and lean into language that fosters a more welcoming community. Gayness is queerness.”
The debate also played out in the pages of The Guardian last weekend, after the newspaper reported that 15,000 people identified as queer in England and Wales’ latest census. In a letter to the editor published on January 13, reader Karl Lockwood of Brighton objected to that self-classification and said that he finds the term “insulting and derogatory, and certainly not ‘reclaimed.’”
“I am a gay man of 66 years with many friends and acquaintances, and know no one who would refer to themselves as queer,” Lockwood added. “It would seem a small minority of activists has encouraged the media to use the word without considering its offensiveness to many people.”
(Lockwood also likened what he called the “Q word” to the “N word,” which seems like a false equivalence, to put it mildly.)
In a letter sent in response, reader Emma Joliffe of East Sussex pointed out that the word “queer” has been “reclaimed by members of our community since the 1970s,” citing the popular “We’re here, we’re queer, get used to it” as an example.
“We use [‘queer’] to signify our pride, power, and resistance,” Joliffe wrote. “Personally, as a woman married to a woman, and as a feminist, socialist and believer in challenging and changing the status quo, I think ‘queer’ represents me, my life, and my politics better than any other term I might use.
“Rather than policing the terms used by others—especially considering that for millennials, the word they were most likely to hear as a term of abuse was ‘gay’ in the early ‘00s—perhaps Karl should accept that the word, and the world, has moved on.”
The back-and-forth about “gay” vs. “queer” has been all over Twitter in the past two weeks. Here’s a sampling of the discourse (capped off by a zinger from perennial Queerty favorite Jaboukie Young-White).
Thanks for your opinion but it’s a no from me. ‘Queer’ is a lovely, inclusive, empowering and reclaimed word. You don’t have to use it, but you don’t get to tell other queers they can’t. https://t.co/TS3wpv91SM
— Paul Kidd ???????????? (@paulkidd) January 14, 2023
https://twitter.com/Izze1122/status/1613037337671344130
https://twitter.com/jrosejunior1975/status/1613522422678052864
They can pry “queer” from my cold dead hands. I’m not gay, I’m not straight, I’m just queer. Thanks. https://t.co/nr7riKRbXH
— Marisa Jeanne (@dystopialibrary) January 15, 2023
I’m a Gay man and Queer. I am a queer person who is gay. This discourse of “use one instead of the other” is bollocks. I am both, many people are. Queer is not a slur. It can be. So can any other word.
— JJ Welles (@jjwelles_) January 15, 2023
"Queer" is a great alternative to LGBT+. It's quicker to say. It doesn't relegate any identity to the other side of the plus sign. It invites all queer folks to be equal. It's cool being queer.
— John Wiswell (@Wiswell) January 14, 2023
https://twitter.com/trxnnykai/status/1614661353112838147
Related: Gay or queer? Redditors sound off on the delineation
"Queer is a slur" is *literally* TERF propaganda, but comparing it to the N-word is a new low even for British transphobes. https://t.co/RaphTOkTth
— @chimeracoder.bsky.social ? ???? (@chimeracoder) January 14, 2023
Anyway “queer is a slur” is a dogwhistle for transphobia pushed by old TERFs who hate it for being too inclusive and tricked a whole generation of young people to parrot that thought. It’s been reclaimed since the late 80s, it is common academic. Outta here with this, Guardian https://t.co/2FAPXXtyiL
— V-gétarienne (@bizzaroren) January 14, 2023
This image is from 1990. Reclaiming queer isn’t a new phenomenon. It’s never been universally accepted, some people have always wanted to assimilate to heteronormative culture for their own reasons. So it’s never been universal, but it’s not new. pic.twitter.com/M2ZfhdRCFr
— Sara The Fat Culture Critic (@bluestockinsara) January 14, 2023
Yeah, I hate that word! It was a derogative word towards gays originally, but the LGBT community (or rather those who think they run it) decided to adopt it. Don’t know why, no one asked my opinion on the matter and there certainly wasn’t a vote!
— MontyMcKinnen (@MontyMcKinnen) January 8, 2023
Related: David Sedaris ignites a firestorm by saying he dislikes the term “queer” and is now “straight”
LGBA style gays hate the word Queer because it’s as broad as it needs to be to shield everyone under the umbrella, and these gays are all about excluding the Q and the T https://t.co/Rl1HfmiRHE
— Jay / ErinusTV | ?????MagicCon Amsterdam (@ErinusTV) January 14, 2023
We're here
We use queer
You've had decades to get used to it until you weaponised it as a covert way to delegitimise trans people and other queers you find undesirable https://t.co/fRYW0W94T3— You Call Yourself a Film Critic (@FilmCriticMaybe) January 14, 2023
The move to ban “queer” might seem like a noble mission to older gays who may have first heard the word as a slur, but it’s fundamentally part of a mission to exclude trans people from the community, and it’s not particularly subtle. https://t.co/gqOd2TIrpN
— Louis Peitzman (@LouisPeitzman) January 14, 2023
The word Queer is trans inclusive non-binary inclusive, bi-inclusive, etc. It’s an inclusive term in an evolving language. It has empowered and unified many people and groups through it’s reclamation. Wittgenstein said “the meaning of a word is its use”. ?? https://t.co/fIheeeAgu5
— Caterina Scorsone (@caterinatweets) January 15, 2023
Note the attempt to make “queer” into “the q-word”, turning queerness something you shouldn’t say and is an insidious erasure tactic don’t fall for it
— – (@RoseSchmits) January 14, 2023
Why “queer”? Because queer takes up space. Queer is unapologetic. Queer doesn’t promise assimilation. Queer includes, and makes it harder to drop a letter off the acronym when it’s politically convenient. Queer reminds us to not get complacent. Queer is solidarity.
— SJ Sindu (@SJSindu) January 15, 2023
I’ve noticed most people that use the term queer are the later millennial and z generation that never felt the derogatory and negative emotional impact of that word.
But, in reality, does it really matter what nouns/pronouns we use. What really matters is how we see ourselves.
— Keller Blade (@LotusBEARwear) January 8, 2023
Some folks like the word queer, some folks don’t – it’s okay to be either of these people but we should not be reducing queerness to a word that is hushed in private or reduced to a singular letter.
Just as ‘gay’ was a slur & reclaimed, so is/was ‘queer’.
I’m queer & proud https://t.co/CYJdA7Zy12
— Dee Whitnell | Trans Activist (@S3xTheoryDee) January 14, 2023
"gays, do not say queer!!" baby youre late im on faggot now
— . (@jaboukie) January 17, 2023
ScottOnEarth
This ridiculous argument is a sign of these f-d up times, where each individual thinks that their way of living is the best-and-only-way and anyone who believes differently is wrong. If you don’t identify as queer, then don’t identify as queer. If you want to call yourself ‘queer,’ then go for it. So much energy and time spent on a stupid label when we have far more important things to worry about.
abfab
Yes Scott, but what’s more fun than skipping and chewing gum?
S.anderson
@ScottOnEarth: I doubt many Queers are being told that they can’t identify as Queer.
The issue is about members of a popular minority community aggressively assigning their preferred label upon others without consulting them or giving them a choice, even when those others say it is not their label or identity. They do indeed appear to think that they know what’s best for the rest of us. It’s got parallels to deliberately misgendering people. It’s the kind of aggression our sex and gender minority communities generally suffer from homophobes, and is certainly not the way we should treat our own kind. We should know better from experience.
abfab
I would like my peers to review this question, which is for a friend:
Can a man be a homosexual with out being gay?
still_onthemark
A closeted homosexual would not call himself “gay” (or “queer” either) but he would still be homosexual. But no one would know. No one would ever suspect, bwa-ha-ha! /s
S.anderson
@adfab: “Gay” is a label associated with a culture and/or lifestyle. Homosexual is a biological and/or psychological fact. The world could be filled with people who are homosexual but have no concept of ‘gay’. Kind of sad, isn’t it?
S.anderson
“You don’t have to use it, but you don’t get to tell other queers they can’t.”. Nice job there, straw man.
The real issue is the assertation that LGBTQ have all, or all who matter anyway, love the word and have embraced it as the perfect thing from the very beginning. This is literally the same tyranny as assigning people an identity or misgendering people.
Obviously there are many REAL, VALID people who have not eagerly/graciously adopted the label “queer” as their identity. The now-defunct national Queer Nation organization didn’t talk anyone into accepting the term ‘queer’; it was forced on us, lest we become the focus of hysterical accusations of homophobia or worse.
Josh in OR
No, sweetness. You insisting that our use of a word to describe ourselves is ‘offensive’ to some is the same kind of tyranny as saying that a trans woman isn’t REALLY a woman, no matter what she calls herself because YOU think she should call herself why YOU find acceptable and ‘non-offensive’.
Now, to be clear, I’m not calling you a transphobe. I’m saying your ARGUMENT is the exact same as that used to delegitimization trans folx.
So, maybe that’s why you’re getting pushback on your attempt to cast everyone who uses ‘queer’ as some kind of regressive monster…
S.anderson
@Josh in OR: scroll down. I have repeatedly pointed out that nobody tells queers they can’t identify as Queer. Nor should they. And I’m pretty unambiguous in my point about how insensitive and problematic it is for others to assign the label Queer to those who neither had a say in the matter, nor accept the term. If you think you can “win” an argument with me by misgender.. *cough cough* misrepresenting my position, then enjoy your straw, man.
andrewl
Hmmmmm interesting debate but not particularly important in the overall circle of life. Personally I would never call myself or really identify as queer, I am a gay man. Again this is probably due to my age (late 50’s). Really am not concerned if people identify as queer rather than gay, whatever works for you. Though I must admit the idea of replacing LGBQT+ with the term Queer sounds like a good idea to me.
S.anderson
How does one “replace” LGBTQ with queer, anyway? Do we all hold a vote, or does an influential group start using it a lot, and asserting that they represent the rest of us when they say we all want to replace previous labels with this one …for reasons…? And assert that anyone not accepting queer as their lord and savior *cough cough* either do not matter, or are traitors? Because that’s precisely what happened to gays and lesbians.
inbama
The only reason gays and lesbians have rights is the legal concept of a “right of free association” being extended to intimate relationships.
Queers, who insist we are just “identities” and that sex and sexual orientation aren’t “real,” have put all our hard-earned “gay rights” at risk.
roddy
As a non -English speaker I had an issue with the term because it sounded / looked like “queen,” thus making it easily associated with being a (god forbid!) feminine man. As i grew older and wiser I learned to appreciate it.
thisisnotreal
for me personally i dont mind the word queer and im a millenial. i dont refer to myself as queer, usually i just say gay cuz thats what i am (but im not opposed to being labeled as queer either). however when it comes to the abc community we’ve created these days that has every letter in the alphabet in the acronym, i just default to “the queer community” since queer is a catch all umbrella term that applies to everyone that isnt a cis hetero. its far easier to just default to the queer community instead of trying to remember what the current flavor of the month acronym for our community is.
inbama
There is nothing “queer” about persons born with a DSD (disorder of sexual development) for whom our LGBTQIA+ “umbrella” uses the dated term “intersex.” These people are males or females like everyone and may be L,G,B and trans or not. DSDs are a physical reality and not an “identity.” Can you name one thing the “queer community” ever did for them other than falsely associate their medical condition with transgender identity? Probably not. This is why they have their own organizations – as should LGB and transsexuals who are not well-served by a cultlike belief in “queer theory.”
See dsdfamilies dot org
mastik8
“Must it all be either less or more,
Either plain or grand?
Is it always ‘or’?
Is it never ‘and’?
smittoons
…meanwhile, the Republicans keep working to chip away at the rights and respect we fought so hard for, only to argue what to call ourselves. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation, protests, propaganda and hate speech rose dramatically last year. Enough with the infighting and focus on the real problems.
LegionKeign
I’ve been openly Gay my whole life and make sure everyone I meet knows it. After losing my hair to male pattern baldness at the ripe old age of 20 I started shaving my head. I also started getting tatts and piercings and much to my horror, folks started to ask me if I was an effin’ skinhead.
So I had QUEER in great big letters tatted across the back of my ginormous head. Why?
Cause I have always been weird, different, unique, strange and GAY.
Bonus was the looks on folks faces when they would ask me about being a skinhead and I would TWIRL around and point to the back of my head. Keep in mind I’m a BIG fella!
Man About Town
“Queer is an inclusive word—that is the reason toxic white gay jocks don’t like it” — seriously? What the hell does Mr. Fuller even mean by this? And where does he come off calling me “toxic” if I don’t like it? Seems to me that makes HIM the toxic one.
tangent
“Queer” is the gay N-word. If you’re in the right circle and you use it in the right way, maybe you can get away with it. But it always makes me cringe when a (usually) loud and flamboyant gay blurts out “queer” in everyday conversation as if it’s nothing. Obviously, the use of such a polarizing word as part of their persona is intentional. It’s trashy and irritating. Just stop using it.
Josh in OR
No.
The F-slur is the word you’re thinking of that equates to the N word.
Queer just means ‘strange’ or ‘odd’, or ‘outside the normal binary status quo’. And…that’s what we ARE. We ARE ‘strange’ to boring cishet folks. We ARE odd to status quo junkies. And we ARE ‘outside the normal binary’.
I think there’s genuinely something to the argument that trying to police the use of ‘queer’ is more about delegitimizing the ‘wrong’ sort of ‘queer’ than it is about genuinely caring about self-identity.
S.anderson
@Josh in OR: On no, we’re thinking of the word “queer”. YOU don’t get to tell others what does and does not hurt them. Especially if you’re so keen to assign that label to others who identify it as a problematic slur.
JClark
For those of us at a certain age, the word “queer” is similar to the n-word — not the same, but similar in some respects. We feared being called queer and that fear was often justified by the threat of violence. For others to say, “just get over it” doesn’t acknowledge that history. Like the n-word, it really depends who’s saying “queer” and in what circumstance. I prefer “gay,” but “queer” is preferable to the alphabet designations that make us subject to ridicule. Someone should think of an inclusive word without all the baggage.
Josh in OR
I’m a fan of QUILTBAG. It includes most of the letters of the alphabet soup appellation, but arranged in a way that sounds more fabulous than rattling off a bunch of letters at seeming random.
LGBTQIAA+ doesn’t cover all the diversity that ‘queer’ does, but is less ‘offensive’, so maybe we compromise with ‘QUILTBAG’?
Or just stop trying to tell people who use ‘queer’ to self-identify that they are somehow ‘endangering our rights’ or whatever panicked rhetoric gets the most clicks this week…?
S.anderson
@Josh in OR: you seem to take the religious position on assigning the queer label. You know, how “religious freedom” means having the entitlement to make others live according to your standards. Some, not all, Queer folk are in the bad habit of assigning the label Queer to those who have rejected that label. Please be a decent human being.
S.anderson
“It’s no big deal -it’s convenient?”
So, what if some revolutionary wag had decided that “freak” or “pervert” was the slur that they wanted to “reclaim”? (‘IF’ being an ironic choice of words, because “queer” means exactly the same thing in many people’s hearts.) So picture “Perv Nation” leading the non-straight movement of the 1990’s or picture a brave new acronym like “LGBTF”. And picture a legion of well-meaning, but historically underinformed folks saying “like, I have no problem being called ‘FREAK’ because it’s easier than remembering acronyms, tee hee”. That just might rankle with Bob and Bev who struggled all their lives with family and friends who saw them as defective for not conforming to the local “norm”.
I’ve been an organizer with modern 2020’s Queer groups, and I will say definitively that they are indeed like being in an exclusive club. They go beyond just creating a safe space for a certain vulnerable type. Sure, in their public literature the word and organizations are “diverse” and “inclusive” but the truth is that the label is fundamentally exclusionary. Not just exclusive of the homophobes and the dread ‘cis het’ but of any sex or gender minority who does not want to feel like they are WEIRD, marginal, or less normal than anyone else. The idea that LGBTQ are abnormal (and wrought with gender-related issues) is the myopic, negative message fed to us by homophobic mainstream culture. It’s the criteria they’ve used to exclude us, at least in their minds. It shouldn’t be our template.
Let’s reclaim “normal”, shall we?
Gays, lesbians and bisexuals had fought for dignity & respect, to demonstrate that there’s no significant difference between themselves and “straight” people. But there was no “purge” of the queens, sissies and bu||d|kes from the movement. We stood together as a community, as a family, and built safe spaces and lines of communication. Folks of all persuasions could find someone they could relate to in one of these spaces. Cowboys danced with drag queens, and when the clothes came off, well, their genders were not assigned according to their taste and mannerisms as is the current fashion.
The current Queer Movement prefers the notion that LGBTQ are, by and large, oddballs. Defiant freaks. The homophobe’s toxic weapon has become a sweet drug. There is now open scorn for the identities of people, and the historical facts of the earlier movement. The effect is concerted, organized erasure. The effect is the media amplifies a narrower, extreme image of LGBTQ folk. The effect is that many people who are questioning find nothing to relate to, or face an obligation to slip on some of the brave, new identities on offer. They feel too nonconforming to pass for straight, but find they’re too ordinary to feel welcome at the big LGBTQ kiki. They’re being filtered out of the modern LGBTQ community by their lack of conformity! And if one tries to forge their own path and identity, speak honestly about their lived experience, they could be pegged as a ‘traitor’ for not serving the movement’s preferred message.
We’re failing our own kind, and frankly, setting a course for diminishment and self-destruction.
Hopefully this helps folks understand why the pitiless promotion of “queer” as a “replacement” is not really cool.
Josh in OR
Honestly, sis?
Feels a lot like you’re trying to police people’s language, and it’s going about as well as that sort of thing ever does, and that’s making you come across as bitter and demanding.
Don’t like ‘queer’? Don’t use it. You don’t get to tell anyone else that how they self-identify is ‘offensive’. ‘Queer’ isn’t synonymous with ‘freak’ or ‘monster’ or ‘pervert’ except in the minds of idiot straight people and easily offended children making unreasonable demands of others.
But that’s just my take.
You do you, boo-boo.
S.anderson
@Josh in OR: do not misgender me. Seriously. Please read the Queerty Comment Policy linked below.
And no, telling people to stop misgendering them, and stop mislabeling them “Queer” is NOT “policing” their language. I think decent human beings understand that.
Josh in OR
I’m a gay man, so here’s my $.02…
I identify as gay.
I identify as a male, and was assigned such at birth.
If pressed for more details, I clarify that I am a gay man who likes emotional intimacy, but not physical intimacy. I have mannerisms both masculine and feminine, am tall, large, hairy, deep-voiced…but when I’m around friends, we like to say ‘my purse falls out of my mouth in a tidal wave of glitter’.
By today’s ‘woke’ parlance, I believe that makes me a cis, homoromantic, asexual with non-binary attributes. *shrugs*
And that’s fine. I don’t mind any of that. I’m not anti-woke or anything silly like that. Let people identify how they want! It doesn’t hurt me, and if it helps them? Fine by me.
But really, I call myself ‘queer’, and have identified as such for over 2 decades. I’m PROUD to be ‘queer’, because ‘queer’ means what I am!
Growing up in the 80’s and 90’s, I ABSOLUTELY was bullied for my occasionally ‘effeminate’ behaviors, because cishet males are too fragile and can’t handle a man who acts in ways outside the ‘norm’. I got called all the usual names, but no one ever called me ‘queer’. I heard people use that term on tv now and then, but it always seemed such an odd insult. Why should anyone be ashamed of being seems as ‘strange’ or ‘odd’? Neither was a BAD thing. And how boring would the world be WITHOUT the occasional queerness?
My circle of friends is queer. We are gay, bi, lesbian, ace, aro, trans, NB, straight, straight-but-not-narrow, heteroflexible…we run the gamut, and generally refer to ourselves as a ‘queer found family’ because ‘gay’ isn’t entirely accurate, and all the letters are a pain in the ass to say individually. ‘Queer’ is quick, simple, not really an effective insult, and accurately reflects the diversity of a bunch of strange, oddball weirdos who found one another.
S.anderson
@Rosh in OR: Ok, so you identify as Queer, so you don’t feel attacked to be labeled that way. Even if by people who are largely out of your control anyway. You’re a proud, waving flag person and that’s valid. But that’s your fortunate, individual case. And nobody tells queers that they can’t identify as Queer.
And being “a man” is not bad. Nor, “a woman”. So, let’s ask why would someone mind being assigned such a label by others? Oh right. “Did you just assume my gender?”; a valid point. I’m sure you would not hurt someone that way.
So maybe if people of one group are enthusiastically yet dismissively assigning the label and identity of “queer” upon other people who don’t identify that way, it’s problematic? Both insensitive and cancelling? And your best rationale is that the word is quick and convenient to say rather than to ask and know how someone identifies? Like pronouns, for instance?
As they say, it is not you who gets to say whether the word is hurtful or not.
Josh in OR
@B.underson: Listen…context is king. If a drag queen/lesbian/gay man/trans person/ally/etc calls me a fellow queer?
Not offensive.
If a homophobe calls me queer?
Offensive.
It’s a case of ‘that’s not your word to use’. The word itself may be used by the uninformed and shitty to try to hurt people, but it isn’t a hurtful word at root, and shouldn’t be taken as hurtful. But, I know that not everyone sees it like me, so I try to make sure that I don’t call anyone ‘queers who lets me know that they prefer not to be identified as such, out of respect. As long as they don’t act like it’s an imposition upon them to respect MY preferred word usage, I’m perfectly happy respecting theirs.
Again, context is king in these situations.
You (or someone who is offended by the word ‘queer’) don’t get any respect if you shriek at me that I can’t say ‘queer’ to my friends who identify as such just because it offends YOU, any more than a ‘Christian’ who shrieks that my existence offends them gets any respect.
If my use of a word from a place of love and comfort offends you, we can talk about it. But if your go-to method of ‘talking about it’ is demanding that everyone else find it as offensive as you (again, simply using ‘you’ as shorthand for ‘person offended by the use of ‘queer’, not trying to personally attack!), it’s just not going to go well.
No one likes a tantrum thrower. Especially an adult who has words to use, instead.
S.anderson
@Josh in OR: You are really disappointing. A bit earlier you said “If you don’t like ‘Queer’ then don’t call yourself that”. No kidding. Now how about folks who insist on labeling others “Queer” when they are in fact not Queer? It shouldn’t be so hard to get people to be respectful. Your argument is full of holes. What you and your friends call each other is your own business. If you assign a label on someone which they don’t like, you shouldn’t retort “Oh Mary, but YA ARE QUEER!”. You should instead be respectful. I feel like i’m stating the obvious, but I’m feeling like you don’t know this. Once again, nobody is saying Queers can’t call themselves Queers, as you continue to hysterically suggested I have. Folks are gonna notice your strategic amnesia by now.
AbysmalRabbit
S.anderson is clearly projecting because NO ONE is forcing people to identify as queer. No one. They provide NO evidence of this, but continue to insist that it’s the truth. Common, classless, devisive troll. THIS is what I identify them as. Until they provide evidence of the basis of their baseless argument, I would recommend to not engage.
S.anderson
@AbyssmalRabbit: Well, bye; you’ll only be doing us a favor, then.
I’m not going to insult the audience by forcing my narrative onto your intentions, but sure, it is best for your cause to suppress and flee the debate rather than let it run its course, opening eyes to information outside your control. You have nothing to win and everything to lose. Your side hasn’t been acting like they’re bravely defending themselves from unjust attacks; they’ve been acting like an authority that is irritated by heretics. There’s no ‘evidence’ that you will accept in this forum, so your demand to stop until we have your approval is respectfully declined. You’re not setting the rules (though you’re trying to). You’re not making the decisions. People reading about the issue, and weighing what both sides say shall.
And what they are going to see is that there is a lot they hadn’t heard before, and that some people are frantic to rebury it.
As far as trolling goes, let’s un-spin your strawman manifest, since YET AGAIN, the debate is neither about people being forced to identify as Queer, nor told they cannot identify as Queer. I don’t see how that’s even doable. I mean, really. There isn’t actually an anti-Queer movement within the LGBTQ communities at all.
The debate raging on and off Twitter is about people who are in favor of the label and identity “Queer”, ASSIGNING it to other people who were given no vote in the matter, and/or even have their wishes disrespected when they state that they do not identify that way! And pressuring the mis-assigned folks into complacent silence, whether out of respect for the “Greater Cause” or via fear if necessary. That’s doable. All you need to do is exaggerate your support and sneer at objections. To wrap yourself in the sacrosanct Rainbow Flag. The media loves this amazing fairy tale of worldwide unity! It brings a lot of positive attention to LGBTQ issues. But, this practice is problematic, insensitive. It is aggressive. It smacks of privilege, authority and malice. It parallels name-calling and mis-gendering of LGBTQ folk by homophobes.
I’ll leave the decision of whether this is good or bad to the reader.
bachy
I kinda like fag.
abfab
Benson and Hedges Menthol or Marlboro, sweetie.
bachy
Pall Mall.
abfab
”A Very Royal Selection…. You can light either end AND it’s your doctor’s choice!”
abfab
The correct response was BOTH, but we’ll let that slide, bachy ball……
bachy
Be gentle with me I’m still learning.
abfab
Come to Il Bianca Lotus in Sicilia and we will teach you. I have a feeling you enjoy playing with balls.
Jimmer
I’m a member of the Gay/Queer community and proud of it. I grew up in a small town where all of these were used as insults. Luckily, I was raised to not let these hold me down. Whatever happened to “sticks and stones may break my bone, but words can never hurt me. That being said, stop debating this ridiculousness, there are too many worse things to fight.
The words we should be worried about are “pedophile, pervert, groomer, and predator”. These are words that are being used to incite violence against our community (LGBTQ+, gay, queer, trans, etc). This is what needs to stop before another mass shooting. We need to be correcting anyone who calls us any of these disgusting words.
Sorry about my post if it offends you.
IvanPH
The last post said it best. I can’t believe that people are still debating whether queer is acceptable or not. There have been two widely popular shows with the word queer on its title (Queer Eye for the Straight Guy, and Queer Eye).
The debate on queer is over. It is high time to reclaim the F-word.
S.anderson
“Still debating”? So, the last several posts introduce the notion that there’s a time limit on individuals and groups choosing an identity and/or a label for themselves. Also, as usual, side-stepping the real issue of motivated groups deliberately assigning labels upon others who were either not consulted, or have considered and rejected that label.
I don’t feel that we are only allowed a certain “time frame” in which to find our identity and a label (if we wish) that fits truly. The debate about assigning “Queer” as a personal identity should go on as long as there are people who have thoughts about it. Nor do I feel that if others persistently call me a thing for long enough, that I just gotta surrender and let them assign it to me. After all, I’m even speaking out about it, it’s not like I’m silently consenting. That’s equivalent to what homophobes historically do to LGBTQ folk. It would be best if LGBTQ folk not claim this privilege to practice the same aggression on others of their own kind. For their own good or whatever.
Anyway, many prominent minority communities change their names and vocabularies every few years. We’re a living example of that. I don’t know all about what drives this evolution, but it probably involves pushing forward when others try the old “It is what it is” argument on them. Please be good human beings.
AbysmalRabbit
We’re here. We’re queer. Get used to it!
LumpyPillows
Pat on SNL was queer…and everyone still wants to know what Pat is. Worthless word.