Thirty years after the box office flop that was Super Mario Bros. — starring Bob Hoskins, first crush of gay men everywhere, and John Leguizamo, pioneering cinematic drag queen — Nintendo’s famous plumbers and their friends and foes are back on the big screen in The Super Mario Bros. Movie.
We doubt we’ll see any queer representation onscreen—this isn’t a Pixar movie, after all—but as any gaymer knows, the Super Mario Bros. franchise has taken laps on Rainbow Road.
Related: Everyone on the Internet is Wondering Where Mario’s Butt Went
Just think of that boss fight in Super Mario 64, when Mario says “So long, gay Bowser!” as he spins the big brute by the tail.
How about we take this to the next level?
Our newsletter is like a refreshing cocktail (or mocktail) of LGBTQ+ entertainment and pop culture, served up with a side of eye-candy.
(OK, fine, the line is probably “So long, King Bowser,” misheard by players after getting garbled by Nintendo 64-era audio compression, as Polygon points out.)
But remember that the sparkly letters on the box art for Super Mario Galaxy spelled out the assertion “U R M R G A Y,” as in “You are Mr. Gay” — and that the Super Mario Galaxy 2 box art responded with “U R M I A Y,” which can be reversed and decoded as “Yeah, I am, are you?”
(The “U R M R B I” sparkles on the Super Mario Bros. Movie poster, unfortunately, turned out to be less bi representation than Photoshop manipulation.)
Related: Nintendo just gave a power-up to same-sex marriage in Japan
Yes, sure, queerness in Super Mario Bros. is probably more headcanon than Nintendo-condoned, but indulge us a Cape Feather flight of fancy and enjoy these many tweets about the franchise’s gayness.
Mario is gay
Mario looks like he’s about to do a gay 4 pay film https://t.co/1XuxkOPK2R
— fake proton (@ProtonInspector) February 19, 2023
GAY SEX MARIO pic.twitter.com/Hljf859uho
— DISCO SLEAZY COWBOY MICHAEL MEDRANO ? (@stachepapi) November 12, 2022
El Super Mario que te mereces, el Super Mario que tú te mereces, buenos días ??? pic.twitter.com/QpjlEJFoER
— Hola, soy Anti ????? (@gayANTIgay) April 2, 2023
BREAKING: Nintendo Announces Mario Will “Try a Little Bit of Gay Stuff” This Monthhttps://t.co/HAJF0YCb8g
— Hard Drive (@HardDriveMag) June 11, 2022
Luigi and Bowser are gay (for each other)
"nice for the princess to invite us over for a picnic gay luigi"
"so long gay bowser!"
the hints were there, we just didnt piece it together until now https://t.co/FLKblpPoEc— Umi (@Umiblo) March 27, 2023
LGBT really does stand for Luigi Gay Bowser Too. they were right all along https://t.co/wkwBawM1qI
— mello ? (@nicole__mello) March 12, 2023
dude "Bowser [demands Kamek] summons Luigi with magic and evily strokes his chin with his sharp claws as a threat" is like age-old shipping fanfic material, this is unbelivably gay even if by accident pic.twitter.com/8HCrWBdT46
— LUIGI GOES “SUP” TO ME (@LuigiOdyssey) November 29, 2022
*goes up to the gay couple* so which one of you is the Bowser in which one of you is the Luigi
— chunky legend (@laviejoem) April 3, 2023
I'll forgive them letting Chris Pratt voicing Mario if they include a 30 minutes gay sex scene between Bowser and Luigi https://t.co/UyleHGXrwy
— "White T Poison" (@LinusSad) November 30, 2022
Princess Peach is an icon for the gays
If you were a kid in the 90s who played Super Mario Kart on N64, and your favorite player to choose was Princess Peach, you’re also ? percent gay now. pic.twitter.com/Ko0CfMR8n9
— Benj Pasek (@benjpasek) December 19, 2020
gays don’t play fighting games for FUN we play so we can choose Chun-Li or Princess Peach and dismantle the heterosexual agenda
— Josh Trebach, MD (@jtrebach) December 21, 2020
We as gay people deserve a sequel to Super Princess Peach! pic.twitter.com/xzHtLXU9Q3
— Sindorman: commissions are open! (@sindorman) August 27, 2022
The gays when they play as Princess Peach pic.twitter.com/DqnjYUxORd
— Lux @ OW2 (@Luxeno) September 20, 2020
The whole franchise is gay
My youngest son, Elijah, who is 6 saw a trailer for the new ‘Super Mario Bros’ movie earlier. Once it was over, he turned to me and said “Father, why does Hollywood insist on indoctrinating our youth with subliminal LGBTQ+ messaging. I have no interest in this feature film". pic.twitter.com/Zu28yg0uAU
— Barra (@ThatBmanGuy) March 19, 2023
luigi? gay. princess daisy? gay. princess peach? gay. bowser? gay. rosalina? gay. toad? gay. waluigi? gay
— LEO (@hellspawnmotel) June 13, 2018
In the Super Mario Bros movie, Luigi said GAY RIGHTS with that belt. pic.twitter.com/nhMD4jIJ4L
— iamBrandon ???? (@iamBrandonTV) July 28, 2021
2023 is for every nerdy gay boy who alternated between playing with his sister’s Barbie dolls and playing Mario on his NES pic.twitter.com/kgn41AsOP4
— Tom Zohar (@TomZohar) December 16, 2022
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