This is hardcore

British actor Adam Woodward bares all on soap opera. Just… damn.

If 25-year-old actor Adam Woodward came running up to you all wet and shiny in the rain to say you dropped your glove, how would you reply?

A.) “Well, it’s useless now with all your germs all over it, so keep it”;

B.) “I have a can of mace in my attaché, and I’m not afraid to use it”;

C.) “What kind of line is that? Get better game, charlatan”;

D.) “That’s not the glove I’m interested in seeing you put on.” [languidly sips strawful of soda]

E.) “Oh, thaaa–” [Truck runs you over.]

Related: PHOTO: British Soap Star Stuart Manning Shares Full Frontal Shower Shot

While you grapple with the correct answer — it’s “A,” by the way — we’ll fill you in on some pertinent details: The hallucinatory fever dream of perfect manhood can currently be seen on the British Channel 4 soap opera “Hollyoaks,” where you can see quite a bit of him and become a better person because of it.

Here… totally become that better person, courtesy of us:

Wait, hold it. The intellectual adventure is far from over.

Here’s the part where we ransack his Instagram account:

Sometimes I'll even smile for pictures

A post shared by AJ Woodward (@adam.j.woodward) on

Nothing says cool like running tights…

A post shared by AJ Woodward (@adam.j.woodward) on

When someone tries to tell you about your antics the night before @hollyoaksofficial #summerofsecrets

A post shared by AJ Woodward (@adam.j.woodward) on

Hope you're tuning into E4 to catch the arrival of Brody Hudson #ibizaoaks

A post shared by AJ Woodward (@adam.j.woodward) on

No, you guys are totally right. He’s a grotesque miscreant.