Looking Back, 2015

Ten Of The Year’s Weirdest, Wackiest, OMGWTF Stories

They say truth is stranger than fiction. Well, that old chestnut couldn’t have been more accurate in 2015. This year we saw a “straight” boxer claim he was tricked into appearing in a hardcore gay skin flick, a right-wing Christian couple threaten to live out their sin of divorce if marriage freedom became law, a “celibate” priest blow $1 million on a male rent boy, and an openly gay Democratic lawmaker deny ties to the KKK, among some other pretty outrageous things.

Here’s a quick look back at 10 of the weirdest, wackiest, OMGWTF stories of the year…

The Twisted Tale Of Yusaf Mack, a.k.a. The Boxer Who Wasn’t Drugged

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The 35-year-old father of ten made headlines when he claimed he had absolutely no recollection of ever appearing in the hardcore gay skin flick Holiday Hump’n, alleging he was not gay and that he must have been drugged to engage in such behavior. Days later, after the production company threatened legal action, Mack released a statement saying that, actually, he wasn’t drugged, that he did the film willingly, and that he was bisexual.

About a week after that, the transformation was complete: he released yet another statement saying that, actually, he wasn’t bisexual, he was gay and, well, loving it. Then he threw himself a “coming out party” at a West Hollywood gay bar before, a week or so later, saying he was now interested in having a relationship with a transwoman. We hope to see him on the screen again soon.

The Man With The 19-Inch Penis

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Roberto Esquivel Cabrera became an overnight celebrity when he spoke to TMZ about his oversized phallus. Graphic video of the 52-year-old Mexican man weighing his penis (it came in at a whopping two pounds) then slapping himself in the face with it began circulating online and ultimately landed him a contract with an adult film company. But having the world’s longest dong isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. Cabrera also has a gift for wanting to have it both ways. He told TMZ it’s actually ruining his life. “I cannot do anything,” he lamented. “I cannot work, and I am a disabled so I want authorities to declare me as a disabled person and give me support. Then I want to go to the Guinness to get recognition.”

The Christian Couple Who Threatened To Divorce If Gay Marriage Became Legal

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In June, Nick Jensen and his wife Sarah announced plans to dissolve their 10-year union if same-sex couples were allowed to get married. The duo claimed that “by changing the definition of marriage, ‘marriage’ will, in years to come, have an altogether different sense and purpose. We no longer wish to be associated with this new definition.” The new definition of freedom and equality? As a result of their tomfoolery, a Facebook event page was created celebrating the Jensen’s impending divorce, to which nearly 180,000 people from all around the world RSVP’d. No word if the couple ever followed through with their threat.

The Antigay Pastor With A Grindr Profile

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In May, Queerty obtained screenshots from the antigay pastor and married father of five’s secret Grindr profile, in which he confessed to being a “total top” and having a particular fondness for nude make out sessions and cuddling with other dudes. In the past, Makela had called homosexuality a “sinful temptation” and allegedly encouraged one young gay man to consider killing himself if he failed to renounce his sexuality. In an email exchange with Queerty, Makela confirmed the authenticity of his Grindr profile but declined to comment further. He also said he had resigned from his position at the church, and that his wife and senior pastor had been made aware of his extracurricular activities.

The Tea Bagger Who Faked His Own Gay Sex Scandal

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After uber-conservative Tea Party lawmaker Rep. Todd Courser of Michigan was caught having an adulterous affair with his fellow uber-conservative Tea Party lawmaker colleague Rep. Cindy Gamrat, he decided to try and cover it up by fabricating a gay sex scandal. Leaked audio recordings obtained by the Detroit News exposed Courser asking an aide to send an anonymous email to GOP power brokers alleging that he (Courser) was caught having sex with a male prostitute behind a Lansing nightclub. His hope was that the fake homosexual affair would draw attention away from his real heterosexual one. The bizarre gambit backfired and both he and Gamrat were ousted from their House seats.

The Openly Gay Democratic Mayor With Alleged Ties To The KKK

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When the hackitivist group Anonymous “unhooded” several prominent U.S. Senators and mayors who it claimed were members of the Ku Klux Klan, one of the alleged “White Knights” had quite a few people scratching their heads. It was none other than the openly gay Democratic mayor of Lexington, KY, Jim Gray. 62-year-old Gray, who came out publicly in 2005, quickly released a statement saying the accusations were “false, insulting and ridiculous.” A spokesperson from his office said everyone there was “at a total loss” as to how the mayor’s name ended up on the list.

The Botched D.I.Y. Vaseline Penis Enlargement Surgery

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All 24-year-old Hungarian man Szilveszter wanted, like a lot of men, was a little more girth. So he injected his penis with petroleum jelly. Nine months later, his one-eyed monster became just that, a monster. It began to swell and swell before cracking open. “This was the worst mistake in my life!” Szilveszter lamented on TLC’s Extreme Beauty Disasters. Even his doctor agreed. “His penis,” Dr. Vik Vijh said, “is a disaster.” After undergoing an extensive surgery that included having his penis literally skinned, Szilveszter eventually made a full recovery. Afterwards, he said he learned his lesson and that he’ll never try another D.I.Y. penis experiment again. Boys, this is a lesson in appreciating what you have–or something.

The Babysitter Who Forced Two Small Children To Watch Mommie Dearest

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29-year-old Glenn Oliver was charged with child abuse and false imprisonment after duct taping his girlfriend’s two sons, ages 4 and 6, to a sofa and forcing them to watch the cult classic Mommie Dearest. According to police, Oliver  used the tape to cover the boys’ mouths, wrists, chests, ankles and heads then sat them in front of the TV. He later told police he didn’t think it was that big of a deal, adding that he was “exhausted and frustrated” because the boys refused to listen to him.

The “Straight” Indiana Lawmaker Caught Sexting About Bottoming For “Big Black Cock”

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Justin Moed seemed to have it all. 31 years old and newly elected to the Indiana House of Representatives with a beautiful fiance and a degree from Butler University. Then a series of sexts he sent to none other than Sydney Leathers, the same woman who exposed Anthony Weiner a few years earlier, were leaked. In the sexts, Moed told Leathers that he wanted her to do him up the bum with a strap-on. He also said enjoyed hooking up with guys on the DL, that he loved “big black cock,” and that he was a bottom. “I sucked him,” Moed wrote when sexting about an affair he had with a man in Indianapolis. “He f-cked me. We hooked up several times. He was very dominant.” If you say so, representative.

The Priest Who Allegedly Spent $1 Million On A Male Prostitute

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Earlier this month, Peter Miqueli was slapped with a lawsuit filed by furious parishioners who alleged the priest stole more than $1 million in donation money to pay for sex and support his “rent boy lover.” In the lawsuit, Miqueli was accused of carrying on an ongoing S&M romance with Keith Crist, who insisted the priest call him “master” and drink his urine. According to a spokesman for the Archdiocese, Miqueli has yet to be disciplined for his alleged transgressions but they’re currently investigating the matter.