To mark the 2015 Queerties Awards, we’ve compiled lists of outstanding LGBTQ folks and our allies (and yes, some of our foes) in a variety of categories. At the end of each list, we ask you, the reader, to cast your vote for who should come out on top.
It was a banner year for antigay douche baggery, in large part because the Supreme Court’s ruling on nationwide marriage equality drew them out of dumpsters. The ruling, by a conservative majority court, set the wing nuts into high dudgeon. Religious rightists across the country came out of the woodwork to respond in all sorts of outrageous, and sometimes even unintentionally fascinating, ways. The law may now be settled, but they are definitely still unsettled by it.
Of course, there were plenty of other folks who acted like complete a-holes in entirely different capacities. We’ve included a few of these types, as well.
Scroll down for the biggest d-bags of 2015, in no particular order (hahaha)…
The thrice-divorced, Born Again county clerk from Kentucky made national headlines when she refused to issue marriage licenses to same-sex couples despite multiple court orders demanding she do so. She got paid to go to jail, rubbed elbows with 2016 presidential hopefuls Mike Huckabee and Ted Cruz on television, hit the media circuit, got a private armed security detail, and finagled a meeting with the pope, all the while continuing to collect her $80,000 taxpayer-funded salary and proclaiming she’s not a homophobe because she has gay friends.
The owners of Memories Pizza in Walkerton, IN (pop. 2,248) became overnight celebs after going on their local news channel and proclaiming that if they were ever asked to cater a gay wedding they would have to politely decline the offer.”We are a Christian establishment,” Crystal told the reporter. Right. And excluding people is so Christian. A shit storm ensued and the O’Connors quickly launched a GoFundMe campign, raising nearly $850,000 from roughly 30,000 donors. Afterward, Kevin told the media, “I’d do the same thing again,” adding that he doesn’t “hold an grudges” against gay people. Of course not!
This year alone the crazed pastor of the Atlah World Missionary Church in Harlem accused Starbucks of making lattes out of semen to attract gay (and straight female?) customers, alleged Justin Bieber “cut off her breasts” and is secretly a trans man, said gay people are turning into zombies and will soon begin foraging through hospital dumpsters looking for human waste to feast upon, threatened to boycott every “sodomite-friendly” business in America, claimed a “sicko group” sent him a plastic bucket of poop, and implied Anthony Kennedy had a secret male lover who blackmailed the justice into voting for marriage equality, among other loony tunes. We can hardly wait to see what next year has in store.
The Sean Cody stud was accused of extorting closeted Republican businessman Donald Burns. According to court documents, Burns paid Wentworth for sex “at least four times” and gave him cash for introducing him to other guys. The arrangement was working out fine, at least for Wentworth, until the 25-year-old model got greedy and threatened to expose Burns if he didn’t fork over $500,000, give him a $180,000 sports car, and buy him a $1 million luxury condo. That’s, like, 500K per sex act, which seems rather expensive, if you ask us. Luckily, this blackmailing douche was found guilty and was sentenced to 70 months behind bars plus ordered to pay nearly $500,000 in fines.
Justice Thomas, Justice Alito, Justice Roberts and Justice Scalia
They douched the opportunity to vote in favor of a completely obvious and monumental breakthrough for all Americans: Marriage Freedom. ‘Nuff said.
If admitting to molesting two of his sisters (plus three other underage girls) in their sleep wasn’t awful enough, antigay reality TV personality and former executive director of the FRC Josh Duggar was outed for having not one but two Ashely Madison accounts. After confessing to cheating on his wife while she was pregnant with his children, Josh said he was going to sex rehab to learn how to control his urges. But when the time came to actually check in, he bailed. That was in September and he hasn’t been seen or heard from since.
Queerty was the first to report on the Christian extremist from Indiana who uploaded a video of herself to Facebook going off on an unintentionally hilarious antigay, anti-Islam, anti-Obama, anti-abortion, anti-everything-not-Evangelical-Christian rant in response to the Supreme Court equality ruling. “God says that marriage is between a man and a woman!” Rommel sobbed. “I don’t care what you think! I don’t care what you think about my opinion because, you know what? I could really care less!” The video was picked up by media outlets across the world and has since garnered over 1.2 million views and inspired several parodies. Honestly, we’re not sure whether to love or hate this particular douche.
The 32-year-old ex-hedge-funder-turned-pharmeseutical-CEO became the “most hated man in America” after he raised the price of Daraprim, a medicine used by people with AIDS and other maladies, from $13.50 to $750 per tablet overnight. A backlash quickly followed, which Shkreli (A.K.A. “Pharma Bro”) responded to by defending his actions in a string of snarky, childish tweets. A few days later, he told NBC News he would be lowering the price of the drug, though as of this writing he has yet to actually do so. This douche got his comeuppance when a competitor introduced a $1 version of the drug in October.
The Entire 2016 GOP Presidential Field
Every. Single. One.