To put it gently, 2016 was something of a bummer… but let’s not delve into that too deeply for a moment.
Instead, let’s become forcefully superficial and slide down the surface of things.
One upside to the year that finally succeeded in making us feel our age: It was also the year male celebs, quasi-celebs, and even not-quite-quasi-celebs decided full-frontal nudity was something the world needed to see. Perhaps they rightly figured, “What difference does it make if I flash a little peen? The world is brinking on utter collapse anyway.”
Perhaps it all began with Alex Bowen, the aggressively handsome star of reality series Love Island, who couldn’t have been too terribly upset when an explicit photograph of himself started making the rounds back in June. You really can’t buy that kind of publicity.
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A-List Hollywood apparently took note, with Orlando Bloom soon joining the coveted coven of male celebs with their own jaw-dropping penis pic leaks. Not to be outdone, fellow star, occasional romantic rival, and all-around runt Justin Bieber once again took off all his clothes to prove, once and for all, that he can be nude with the best of them.
Then he proved it again.
And again.
Hey, he proved it last summer, too.
Related: Ass Appeal: Queerty’s 10 Favorite Male Photo Leaks
Well, 50 Cent must’ve read about all this nudity business and decided he wanted in on the action — although he unconvincingly feigned outrage when an episode of Starz! original series Power (which he produces) showed him very naked indeed, apparently without his permission. Which, that was weird.
All of this must’ve weighed heavily on skier Gus Kenworthy, who ultimately decided he should probably stop being such a baby, and start being unequivocally nude instead.
Hunky Brazilian Gymnasts Arthur Zanetti And Sergio Sasaki followed suit when some intriguing video footage surfaced.
And to be clear, this nudity of which we speak was a worldwide sensation: Leaked photos of former Dr. Who star Matt Smith demonstrated that the British actor does not always wear pants and on occasion has been known to doff his shirt. So now you know.
Oh, and was also that corrosive Finding Prince Charming guy Robert Sepulveda, who no one finds particularly charming. But no one can deny he’s often extraordinarily naked. Except, perhaps, his lawyers.
In 2016, these unabashedly nude men came from pracrically all walks of celebdom: the reality stars, the comedians, the rugby players, the soccer stars. Some are exhibitionists. Some were catfished. Most are exhibitionists who claimed they were catfished.
Big Brother UK’s Marc O’Neil is a perfect example. We won’t pretend to have heard of him before seeing him in (all) the flesh on omgblog, but he’s now officially a person of interest.
Related: This Week In Leaks: Gus Kenworthy Has Something To Show You
So is X-Factor contest Sam Callahan (pictured, who apologized back in October about the raft of seriously graphic GIFs that materialized online.
“This was a couple of years ago,” he tells The Sun, regarding the goods we first saw on omgblog. “I was only a teenage lad.”
Meanwhile, nobody seems to think an apology is necessary. Quite the contrary.
Nor is anyone terribly upset to have seen British comedian Joel Dommett (pictured) in the flesh, either.
Related: Ass Appeal: Queerty’s 10 Favorite Male Nude Photo Leaks
The entertainer, who formerly made a nude appearance on the BBC show Impractical Jokers, is shown in a series of GIFs in a state of complete and utter nakedness. Carry on, Dommett.
Next, a testosterone-addled triptych of sports stars shook us to our very cores with their very own photo scandals.
First, former rugby player/activist Ben Cohen displayed his wares for all the world to see. Then, Olympic gymnast Louis Smith was caught indulging in some strident pleasure in front of his webcam. Then a Colombian soccer star named Andres Correa had his private selfies suddenly showcased to the world. As you can see, it’s a leak of the highest order.
And while we’re on the subject of athletes taking off their clothes, we should probably remind you of beefy Argentinean rugby player Andres Enrique, who let it all hang out in a cachet of photos. And fellow Argentinian rugby star Juan Ignacio didn’t want to be excluded from the fun, and so here are all of his sexy pics.
Should we go on? Because we can. We can lead you to a photo of former America’s Next Top Model contestant Dustin McNeer spilling out of his underwear. Or perhaps it’s Ex on the Beach‘s Brandon Myers who tickles your fancy. (If so, there’s any number of places to see his talent — like here, here, and here.)
We’ll leave you to ponder the physique of Gus Kenworthy’s boyfriend Matt Wilkas, the Gayby actor who’s evidently quite comfortable in his own skin. No one who views Wilkas’s pics is likely to complain, as you can see here.
Let’s hope Wilkas — and all these other brave men — are paving the way towards a bright future in which male celebrities take their publicity photos totally unfettered by clothing. And let us hope Mike Pence is not among them.
Who did we miss? Who will be next? What are you wearing? Sound off in the “Comments” section below if that’s what makes you happy.
Mandrake
Perhaps it’s a generational thing, but bodies covered in tattoos are a complete turn-off. Why a handsome buff man would disfigure and mar himself with tattoos is beyond my understanding. Body “art” that stays on you for the rest of your life? Tattoos that reflect some Zeitgeist or fad of the moment that’s gone in a few years? I keep my fingers crossed that Pietro Bocelli and Jake Gyllenhaal always realize they’re handsome and stunning without them.
Does massive tattooing reflect some impulsive behavior or an insecurity about one’s own looks in the mirror? Would you millennials out there enlighten me?
colin_ball
Your comment was deeply prejudicial ” disfigure and mar himself ” is your starting point for ill considered prejudice . You then move on to clap trap psychobabble about “insecurity’s” etc.. Personally I like tattoos and I have many. And I like them as much as when they were done. I unfortunately can not give you a ” millennials take on this as I am far into being an old age pensioner. @Mandrake:
dgsea06
@Mandrake: Right on! You surely know that the “Tatoo” was a means of identifying the tribe or intent of the individual in ancient societies. Painting one’s body with dye,ochre or mud or whatever signified a tribe or intent. It is ancient behavior brought into current, um, “fashion”.
The concept of injecting ink subcutanesly, under the skin, is not a good idea.
Sure, I’ve seen drag queens that used house paint for makeup. So have you!
OOHH, stop it. Let us see the natural beauty of your natural body.
Please.
He BGB
At least in 2016 we got to see Orlando’s bloom.
OzJosh
@Mandrake: Totally agree. Tattooing a perfectly good body is the equivalent of spraying graffiti on a great work of art. It always diminishes, never enhances. The one over-inked sleeve sported by Bieber and Kenwrothy is a particularly silly trend.
Jack Meoff
Following on the topic of tattoos while I neither love them or loathe them I will say that these days when I see a young man with a well toned or muscled body that is free of tattoos I find it extremely refreshing.
Mandrake
@colin_ball: I can understand your disagreement because you’ve permanently got them and apparently have had them for many years. But I’m glad you like them all.
BigWill
Might’ve been good to check the links before writing this; somewhere between a third and half of them have been taken down.
John
As for the tattoo debate. “Covered” in tattoos that are not interlinked make me shake my head. Then those who put them on their neck and face? I don’t get it. I once dated a guy whose mother was Asian and father Caucasion, right before China took Hong Kong back he had a piece of art tattooed on his back…it was a full scene with depth-color and detail. It was beautiful. These trends of today with a name on your arm, a star on your chest, jiminy cricket on your pec etc…just odd randomness of 15-20 tattoos, no color just are a big turn-off to me.
Maude
Yeah, I know ‘tats’ have been around for eons….And I also know that every generation moves farther and farther away from their original identity intent.
There have been physic studies made of the men and women who choose to decorate their bodies by desecrating them with permanent ink stains.
Those studies have concluded that the vast majority of those interviewed were found to be utterly devoid of the self-esteem that is inherent in a well evolved human being.