Kid Rock

Donald Trump and his allies are reportedly preparing to unleash a “holy war” on Taylor Swift, whose overwhelming popularity bothers the disgraced ex-president.

Apparently, Trump grouses he’s more popular than the pop icon, and should’ve been named Time‘s Person of the Year himself.

Well, it appears Team MAGA has launched its first salvo in the aforementioned battle, and they’re coming out swinging!

Joe Biden may or may not receive Swift’s endorsement, but Trump already has Kid Rock in the bag.

Yes, Kid Rock! You know, the washed up country singer who posted an unhinged, gun-toting video over Bud Light’s partnership with Dylan Mulvaney.

The guy behind “Bawitaba!”

Later this month, Trump is scheduled to hold a fundraiser in Nashville and Rock is listed as a special guest.

Who’s Biden gonna counter with? Beyoncé?

Hah!

The last time we heard from Kid Rock, he declared his boycott against Blue Light was over, even though it seemingly never started. The “Redneck Paradise” singer was spotted selling Bud Lights at his bar, even as he swore off the light beer.

Kid Rock’s Big Ass Honky Tonk Rock N’ Roll Steakhouse was touting those bad boys all summer long.

Though pop stars backing Democrats is nothing new, MAGA heads are foaming at the mouth over Swift, who hasn’t even endorsed Biden yet! But the Biden campaign is apparently courting her support, and she’s dating Travis Kelce.

Kelce, who endorses Bud Light and Pfizer, is the reactionary right’s least favorite NFL star. In fact, some believe the NFL is rigging the Super Bowl for the Kansas City Chiefs, as part of a ploy to brainwash viewers into supporting Biden.

Or something like that.

Rock’s views on the ridiculous conspiracy are unknown. But he’s being enlisted in the battle, whether he likes it or not.

Far-right commentator Jack Posobiec recently named Rock among a sad list of decaying male celebs who support Trump.

“We don’t have Taylor Swift on our side. But you know who we do have? Kid Rock, Ted Nugent, influencers. We have all these people — Jon Voight!” he pleaded.

When it comes to celebrity endorsements, we can say that MAGA World isn’t bringing its best!

Voight, 85, is especially crazed. Angelina Jolie’s father recently recorded a video comparing Trump to…Jesus?

“He, Trump, has been targeted for his information to knock down a corrupt swamp. Trump is the only man that can destroy the negative propaganda that has been sworn into this office,” says Voight.

“Can we save our nation from the dark cloud that’s been put upon our life’s dreams? Yes. Because Joshua promised the land of hospitality, and his sword of righteousness fought the battles left and right, the battles of right and wrong. And Jesus said that man can rise above darkness, that he can be saved through this understand, this truth. Believe.”

And they say Biden is losing it? Yeesh.

And how about those influencers? A single Instagram post from Swift resulted in 35,000 new voter registrations last year.

To counter, the extremely online right is offering up characters like Posobiec and Benny Johnson, who offer the charm of a doorknob.

“Taylor Swift is suddenly the most famous person on earth,” Johnson recently ranted. “Now she’s at every NFL game with her boyfriend, who’s backed by Bud Light and Pfizer. Travis Kelce is this guy, who also kind of out of the blue, became this big time celebrity. Really rich, really powerful. Why? He’s a tight end! He’s like a glorified lineman. It doesn’t make any sense. Tight ends aren’t famous people in football. What are you talking about?!”

Johnson forgets to mention that Kelce, the all-time leader in playoff receptions, is one of the greatest pass-catchers in NFL history.

It’s almost like these masculine, hetero alphas have never watched a football game in their lives…

These MAGA heads are detached from reality. They don’t appear to watch the NFL, and think Kid Rock is a comp for T-Swift.

Who’s gonna tell ’em the truth?

Don't forget to share:

Help make sure LGBTQ+ stories are being told...

We can't rely on mainstream media to tell our stories. That's why we don't lock Queerty articles behind a paywall. Will you support our mission with a contribution today?

Cancel anytime · Proudly LGBTQ+ owned and operated