Fox News launched a war against Ellen DeGeneres.

We don't watch the network, but radio host Michelangelo Signorile, who obviously has a higher tolerance for idiocy, passed on some shameful coverage about DeGeneres' forthcoming gay marriage to Portia de Rossi:

This idiotic segment of The O'Reilly Factor — with E.D. Hill sitting in — presupposes that Ellen Degeneres has risked losing her advertisers over her announcement that she will get married, which is now a legal right for her in California.

The crazed guest, Laura Ries, an "advertising expert," says there is a "danger" to Ellen talking about getting married. Hill ponders something she finds more interesting: "How did a 50-year-old woman get a 35-year-old woman?"

Meanwhile, idiot Fox overnight host Greg Gutfeld — in his "Greg-alogue" segment — says Ellen should keep her wedding to herself, and that speaking about it is equivalent to talking about your "bowel movements."

Funny, that's basically what we think of Gutfeld: he's a pile of shit.

Check out the videos after the jump - if you dare…

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Fox News outdid itself when it attempted to picture Abraham Lincoln and rival Stephen A. Douglas, whom Lincoln debated back in 1858. Unfortunately they put up a picture of abolitionist Frederick Douglass. Does Fox really think black people were running for office in 1858? If so, why do they make such a stink over Barack Obama?

Watch Dan Abrams' snarky take, after the jump.

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Bill O'Reilly probably thinks himself the straightest man in America, but he's sure got a strange fixation with the homosexuals.

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And we thought MSNBC's Morning Joe team were offensive! Fox News' Red Eye anchors had plenty of bile to spread about pregnant trans man Thomas Beatie, like referring to him as a "transgender sideshow" and hoping the delivery is "the worst experience in his life." Nice…

We would call GLAAD, but, you know…

Can Bill O'Reilly be more demented? Probably not: the Fox News man recently lamented a 10.5 year prison sentence for a woman who laughed about killing a "French, gay, tree hugger". See the video, after the jump…

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We've lusted after former CNN anchor turned Fox Newser Bill Hemmer for - well, for far too long to admit. Our fantasies came crashing down this morning, however, when a reader sent us this very official missive:

Dear Queerty:
So, Bill Hemmer of Fox News Channel made it official this morning during his news program that he has a girlfriend!! In fact he took her to the top of the Empire State building yesterday, and proudly pulled out his cell phone while live on the air, found her picture on his cell phone and forced it in front of the camera for the world to see the lovely Mrs. future Hemmer.

His co-host of America's Newsroom, Megyn Kelly seemed shocked and amazed by stating "that doesn't sound like you"! I guess Mr. Murdock or Roger Ailes have finally figures out (and straighten out) Hemmers sexuality for him.

Finally!

Thank God we now all now know Mr. Hemmer is straight. Now I can sleep well now knowing there is no future for he and I!!

While this Boston-based reader may be sleeping well, we're vowing never, ever to sleep again. In fact, we'll never eat again, breath again or blink again. Our future has never seemed so bleak - or short. Why, Bill Hemmer? Why?!

• Brainwashing does wonders for a woman! Katie Holmes looked stunning at last night's Mad Money premiere, but one wonders why her stylist couldn't find a more fitting shoe.

• Fashion Island!

• Terrorists target gay Parisian mayor Bertrand Delanoe; police probing.

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Think you can handle a collection of Bill O'Reilly's homophobic rants?

If you've answered "yes," then we suggest you head on over to AfterElton, where the boys recall some of O'Reilly's most notable harangues.

Whether he's blasting gay teenagers as troublemakers, demonizing The Padres' gay day or inventing lesbian gangs, there are plenty of reasons to hate on Fox News' most horrible blow hard.

It's fun for the whole family!

Bill O'Reilly got all chatty with The View ladies yesterday. And he brought flowers for Whoopi! No, the Fox News windbag wasn't embracing his inner gay: he simply popped in to promote his children's new book, Kids Are American, Too. It's quite a shocking title, because we didn't think children were truly American until they turned 18, when they can vote, fornicate and play the lotto. Thanks, O'Reilly!

In addition to opening our eyes on children's citizenship, O'Reilly gives us a look into his "thug" childhood and his ideas on bullying. Did you know that the gays and the religious kids are the most bullied? That's what O'Reilly says. So, who's picking on these guppies? Britney Spears fans and the cool stoners. Apparently gays can't like Britney Spears fans or pot. That's news to us - and makes us question our sexuality!

Bill O'Reilly has made it his business in recent months to stalk Rosie O'Donnell in an attempt to force her to account for what he sees as the former View host's belief that 9/11 was an inside job. His most recent intrusion into Rosie O's life came on Saturday when a producer from The O'Reilly Factor barged in on an O'Donnell book-signing in New York with cameras in tow. Little did they know Rosie O. had her own camera crew in tow and a modus operandi of refusing to indulge O'Reilly in that which he craves most: attention.

Keep reading to see both video feeds…

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